NEWS: Black People Finally Starting To Think For Themselves

POLITICS: Black People Finally Starting To Think For Themselves

First, congratulations to all black people in America. Bill O’Reilly is happy that you guys are finally starting to “think for yourselves.” How awesome is that? Black people have been quietly working very hard, just hoping at some point their progress would be acknowledged by a horrible white man. Consider this a dream fulfilled.

O’Reilly had one hell of a day last week. Apparently he had dinner at a Harlem restaurant with Al Sharpton and the black people eating there were acting like normal people. How weird is that?

That must have been a fun dinner with Bill, because he “couldn’t get over” the lack of disparity between white and black restaurants. Bill must have had thoughts like these racing through his head.

They are using forks. FORKS!

Twenty minutes and not one shooting. This is wonderful

Not one pit bull in this entire restaurant. Amazing!

Hey, that guy is not shitting on his table!

Now, I’ve never been inside of a restaurant full of black people. I live in Los Angeles, so I can only read about such a crazy, foreign world. But I am very happy to hear this report from Bill that no one is screaming:

Motherfucker, I want more iced tea.

Bill, being a thinking man, drew the obvious conclusion from the lack of black people screaming, “Motherfucker.” They are becoming more independent. That’s right, Bill put this thought together in his head: Since black people in Harlem don’t act like animals when they go to restaurants, then they obviously are wrestling free of the dangerous ideas of people like Jesse Jackson. Seriously. That is what he said.

What a natural conclusion to make after his dinner. Bill sees hope for black people, because they were not throwing their food at each other, or shooting each other or shoving steak up their asses. Bill sees it as an example of their “getting away” from people like Al Sharpton – the man who he ate dinner with that night.

Let me just summarize here. Al Sharpton invited Bill O’Reilly to a restaurant in Harlem. They ate dinner together and Bill noticed that black people are normal human beings. So he concludes that black people are no longer listening to…the guy who invited him to the restaurant. Is there any way for Bill to be more retarded?



But it’s not like this is new for Bill. Back in February he defended comments that President Bush made about Barack Obama being an articulate man. But first I’m going to make you sit through Glenn Beck explaining why he doesn’t have black friends.



Those white guys are awesome and they obviously speak for all white people. And if there are still any white people out there who have not been to a black restaurant, this is what they are usually like:

The question is indeed "How stupid can you be?"

The answer is: As stupid as Bill O'Reilly


My god does that man need a serious reality check.

Fuck you, FTR. I submitted this as news yesterday, you fucking asshole. Way to ride my coattails, chump.

Sorry, usually I check the stories in that have been submitted, but since yesterday was the worst day of my life and I was writing the story at 3am, I did not.

you're wearing a t-shirt

A t-shirt with coattails.

FTR, you could have at least fit in a Ludacris reference. Then I'd have felt better.

So, a nationally televised journalist basically said "hey, if black people work hard, get educated and stop being all uppity, they can actually be nearly as good as whites" and he just carries on with his career? Seriously?

That's just because there weren't any motherfuckin' snakes in that motherfuckin' tea.

Duh...

Snakes of a Plane references...

Please, no more. Ever.

Motherfucker, i want the finest cakes and wines known to humanity, and i want them motherfuckin' now!

I dont know what to say to that. Mostly laugh... wow. Funny thing is he probably doesn't just think that about blacks, but all other races or people of other life styles that don't reflect his own. Just another case of a racist, ignorant man who needs a serious awakening to times now. I just wonder when things like this don't become an issue and people of power are actually open minded and focus on the worlds real problems. It's gonna be a long mothatfuckin time. ON YOU O'Reilly!

Bring me some cabernet motherfucking sauvignon, bitch!

I heard a radio show talking about it but the way you wrote it was funnier.

I think that was the chronic smoking crowd, you know the "chill" blacks.
He must of had a bad experience at a crackhead restaraunt.

Obviously the restaurant Al Sharpton took Bill to does NOT serve fried chicken, or else we'd be reading a completely different article. You know how we get when there's fried chicken around.

You know, I understand that the title is sarcastic and is critical of O'Reilly, but fuck, I still find it offensive.

[EDIT] God damn Bill O'Reilly is racist.

A less obvious question: How stupid can Rick Sanchez be? How does that guy still have a job? Bill O'Reilly "always has something interesting to say?" They should both be fired - O'Reilly for being himself and Sanchez for defending him.

How were the tips? There lies the real test.

and that is why wite America will die!

I mean, cry

The magnitude of Bill O'Reilly's ignorance and hypocrisy is simply astounding. It is well known that he is a blow-hard and a jerk... But not even I, a left-leaning, left-coast, bleeding heart liberal thought that he would be stupid enough to say something like this... I mean, I know it serves him to say things that stir the pot, and stirring the race pot is the easiest way to get attention, but no one in their right mind, ignorant or not, could possible say something like this and mean it. He rags on rappers like Ludacris for saying "bitch" and talking about violence and drugs in their music, but it is okay for him to make statements expressing his surprise that a room full of black people can enjoy a meal without a gang-rape going on at the buffet??

Well, a lot of white people who have been sheltered and don't have any black friends could honestly have this perception of most black people. I don't find it surprising. I'm sure this attitude is more prevalent among white people than you would think.

Oh, my god black people scream in french in restaurants! See, they don't use forks, they eat off the ground. Silly black people.

Why are people so afraid to call Bill O'Riley a FUCKING ASSHOLE! They are alsways dancing around it and all like "he's a nice guy", what? he just demeened an entire race of people and you're sticking by this nice guy bullshit. Whatever grow some fucking balls!

Isn't that the problem here? That doesn't make it okay.

Marc Lamont Hill is my hero for the day. The under-the-radar insults in his conversation with Bill are hilarious.

just to play devil's advocate for a minute...o'reilly was spewing ignorant racist filth,yes. however, take a look at the other side of the coin...these ideas (black people being loud, rude, and offensive in a public setting) didn't arise in a vacuum. how many of you have spent any real time in a ghetto chicken joint and NOT seen this type of behavior? i've got 3 of them within walking distance of my house and i see this shit all the time. they're just as fucking racist, just as fucking ignorant, and just as fucking dangerous as, say, hard-core kkk-style rednecks.

no, they're not representative of the entire black population, just as bill o'reilly isn't representative of the white population. they do, however, exist and the behavior is typical enough. they're just as much a problem as the bill o'reillys and david dukes of the world.

You shoud, because it is what he said. It's not sarcasm as much it is what the man said. But keep being offended at what I did if it works for you.