NEWS: Sally Field Needs To Shut Her Pie Hole

POLITICS: Sally Field Needs To Shut Her Pie Hole

Last week, Sally Field won an Emmy for something. I don’t know what and I really don’t care. What happened after she took the stage to accept her award is what caught my attention.

On behalf of half of the human race, I’d like to say, “Fuck off, Sally Field.” What an insulting, arrogant, untruthful load of shit. This is something I’ve heard for years from a few women, who have apparently never opened a history book. The idea that war is exclusive to males is ridiculous. Leaders are generally narcissistic assholes, whether male or female. The same crazy desire that makes someone want to actually run a country also makes one want to go to war. It’s about power and ladies throughout history have been drunk on it for hundreds of years.

But we can start right here in American, in this century, to prove Sally wrong. Here’s a list of female Senators who authorized the use of force against Iraq.

Blanche Lincoln
Dianne Feinstein
Mary Landrieu
Olympia Snowe
Susan Collins
Jean Carnahan
Hillary Clinton
Kay Bailey Hutchison
Maria Cantwell

Why do you hate Sally, ladies? And love war? But, hey, they are just carrying on the tradition of women and war.

Russia has seen its share of women who carry on wars. In 1736 Anna Ioannovna declared war on the Ottoman Empire. Next up came Elizabeth, who led her country into the Seven Years War. (Maria Theresa of Austria also jumped in on that one.) In 1762 Catherine the Great took over Russia and went right to work expanding the Russian empire. She conquered Crimea, the Northern Caucasus and Ukraine for mother Russian, all through bloody conflicts.

How about England?

Queen Elizabeth I was a great mom. She also had Mary, Queen of Scots beheaded and fought a war against Spain. Later came Queen Anne who started a war that came to be known as Queen Anne’s War. The war was fought in North America, between France and Britain in North America. Spain and American Indian tribes were also involved. Next up was Queen Victoria, who was constantly at war, including the Crimean War, The Indian Mutiny, campaigns on North-west Frontier of India, campaigns in Africa including the Zulu War, the Boer War, and campaigns in Egypt and Sudan. And she was a mommy! Recently Margaret Thatcher went to war with Argentina over the tiny, useless Falkland Islands. Bad mommy!

What about Asia?

The Empress Dowager Cixi of China came to power in a bloody coup in 1861. In 1864 she sent her army to crush the Taiping Army and won! Her son must have been so proud! Indira Gandhi, Prime Minister of India, must have been a man because she went to war with Pakistan in 1971. Later, she ordered an attack on the holiest Sikh shrine in India, the Golden Temple, which led to the death of 450 people. Oh, and she accelerated India’s nuclear program, which resulted in India becoming the world's youngest nuclear power. She was also a mommy of two!

And we can’t forget about Israel and their hateful neighbors. Golda Meir, Foreign Minister and Prime Minister of Israel, also oversaw her countries nuclear weapons development program. I guess it was a present for her kids. In 1956, Golda helped to plan an Israeli-British-French attack on Egypt. Later, in 1973, she was forced to defend Israel against six Arab states.

On the other side of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict are female suicide bombers. Is this the kind of mommy Sally was talking about?

What about this grandmommy?

Most importantly, we cannot forget about Admiral Helena Cain Pegasus, who attacked the Battlestar Galactica. That was fucking bullshit.

So, shut the fuck up Sally and all you other ladies who say that women wouldn’t start wars. It's insulting and it’s a load of horse shit. (And that includes my wife.)

Queen Elizabeth I was not a good mother. She wasn't a mother at all.

Neither was Admiral Cain, for that matter.

And the rest of the article, while true enough historically, seems like something that might have been written by TheCoolerKing. You feeling alright, FTR?

Apart from that, it's a good article, though.
Though I have a feeling the last line may cost FTR.

I have to agree that that line of thinking is absurd.

It doesn't really matter because the whole statement was edited out of the west coast broadcast.

Zheng Yi Sao, a woman, was arguably the most powerful pirate of all time.

I totally agree with Sally Field - if mothers ruled the world, there would be no war. And shoes would be free, nobody would get fat and OMG EVERYTHING WOULD BE PINK.

Hey - we're totally capable of being evil shits too. Just look at Margaret Thatcher.

yeah i wouldn't put it past hillary to drop bombs. if that kind of dippy bullshit really makes you mad though, perhaps you shouldn't be watching the emmys. i know i wasn't.

and censoring her statement is absurd. who the fuck makes that decision? they gave her the platform, don't they have to let her say what she's gonna say, even if she has to stutter for a minute and a half first? to me, the network censorship is far more offensive than anything she said.

yeah, because the west coast is the only place that matters ?

don't forget Catherin the great
and
Bloody Mary

Chandrika Kumaratunga

Queen Isabella of Spain

props for having the balls to post this HERE of all places


I wonder if they'll leave it up

Then yr not going to like the SG FAQ:

In other words, SG is perfectly happy to Sally Field you.

I'm prefacing my Monty Python-inspired statement with this message cause I'm tired of people who don't have sarcasm detectors flaming me for my sad attempts at humor:

What Sally Field fails to realize is that it's the Mothers who are the PROBLEM!

I don't give a flying nun

Yeah, but Sally Field is insane when she makes speeches anyway.

"YOU LOVE ME! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!"

Plus, Brothers and Sisters is genius? Since when, exactly?

FTR, you just got yourself into my "Cool People" Book.

It's an annoying line of bullshit when people say that kind of thing, like just because you're a mother your shit doesn't stink, there'd be no war with you running the world, and your children would all be so well adjusted that schoolyard shootings would be a thing of the past. Oh, and crime would cease to exist in general. Yeah, because that would happen.

Nice display of intelligence, calling Sally on that load of crap.

What a knob..

That was fucking bullshit! Fucking bitch waltzes in on the Galactica, who have been doing a great job saving humanity, and starts giving crazy orders.

I wish it was real so I could stove her face in.

Fuckin' a. Nice work. Thank you for writing the article that I couldn't get off my ass to write myself.

I didn't. I don't watch awards shows. I was made aware of the comment via the interweb.

Just so everyone knows, she was not censored for her statement. He was censored for saying "God Damn" on a family show. Fox is attempting to become a more family friendlly network. There is no way they would allow anyone to say that on a awards show. And it is not a collective decision of a group of men is suits. It is one person, a standards and practives moron sitting by a button. Generally the decision to censure someone is an opinion of one.

That being said, I just finished writing on a Fox pilot and based on the notes we received from standards and practices, this was not about the words God Damn and not about what she said.

D'you reckon I could watch this?

i love moms, but a lot of the ones I see out and about look like they'd be better off in a mental insitution.

oh well

save up for DVDs everyone, family Guy's gonna get cancelled again

Overreaction much? I'm much more concerned about the censorship that Fox thrust upon her than what she said.

Wow, I found an article in the Current Events section that I agree with.

She DOES need to keep her mouth shut...if she wants to speak her mind, maybe she needs to do what everyone else does - get a blog, or talk to her friends and family. Attend a peace rally, where you can get together with other likeminded people and make a large, well planned statement. Don't do it on everyone else's time in the wrong forum.

Did she learn nothing from what happened to the Dixie Chicks? Now Barry Manilow has refused to be interviewed on "The View" because he's scared of Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

I hate to break it to Barry, but he has probably lost a large part of his fan base because of it - his fans are mostly comprised of older generations, which typically fall into the conservative demographic.

He's coming out with a new album, and I can pretty much guarantee that there are a going to be a LOT of little old ladies boycotting his music. Good job, guy. Way to shoot yourself in the foot.

If I were famous, I would never jeopardize my fan base by publically disclosing my political and religious views. When fans go to a concert or a movie, they go specifically to be entertained - not to hear one's political views. Honestly, to be fair, I think that applies to all ends of the religious and political spectrums.

/rant