NEWS: Iron Man Trailer aka My Eyes and Ears Just Ejaculated

GEEK: Iron Man Trailer (aka My Eyes and Ears Just Ejaculated)

I'm not exaggerating. This is not hyperbole. I'm exhausted and I can't touch, taste or smell, I'm guessing because my senses of sight and sound were so overwhelmed they were forced to completely drain my other three senses. I'm actually writing this on a Dictaphone because without a sense of "touch" I kept mashing the keyboard.

This trailer is perfect, but don't take my word for it. Watch it. Then pick yourself up off the floor and continue reading.

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Right?

Tony Stark, sauced up and acting like a dick. The guy Bruce Wayne pretends to be, he is.

Explosions, wisecracks that work and then, trouble, in the form of more explosions.

All leading up to the only thing in film better than the "suiting-up" montage, the fucking "build" montage. Tight shots of metal being hammered, wrenches tightening, welder's helmets lowering... Then, cut to "insert something bad-ass of your choice." Rocket, giant gun, van covered in steel-plating that shoots melons... Or, in this case, the Iron Man suit.

They actually used Black Sabbath's "Iron Man." I'll repeat, they used Sabbath's "Iron Man" for Marvel's Iron Man. That's one of those ideas that's so fucking outstanding you dare not even mention it. Somehow it's too awesome to even attempt.

Like, I could see myself and a buddy hanging out reading some Iron Man comics when I was nine and one of us saying, "You know... They should make an Iron Man movie... and put the song "Iron Man" in it." And then the doors bursts open and my dad rushes in, angrily swatting the comic out my hands. "Are you insane, of course they should, but it would never work! It would destroy everything in its path of awesome-ness! EVERYTHING! Both of you go to bed! And no more of this crazy talk about Iron Man."

Sorry, "old best super-hero movie of all time," there's a new kid in town... and that kid gets dressed up in a suit of armor and flies around town blowing shit up... Or... maybe there's a new sheriff in town. And instead of a tin star he's got an iron fucking suit that fights crime and cooks dinner at the same time. I like that one too... Either way, look out.

Think I'll go watch it again.


TheCoolerKing would like to go on record as being anti- super-hero registration.

I must say, the trailer numbs my brain, but in a way that can only be good. Movie obviously sticks to true Iron Man canon and just plain out kicks ass.


We'll find out who truly won the war when Captain America comes out.

I hope they get Ghostface involved in this project in some way.

I love the way Robert Downey Jr. delivers his lines. Watching him be a dick is pretty much the reason I want to go see this.

Unrelated, I'm surprised how good the suit looks on film with no significant changes to it from the comic version.

After reading civil war, this is what I think of Iron Man



After watching the trailer, I can't fucking wait to see the movie.

The title of this article is pretty accurate.

Also, maybe this movie will wash the taste of Spider-man 3 out of my mind. I'll just have to live with the shame.

Nah. First of all, it's in Guitar Hero, but second, that's one of those songs that everyone knows, even if they don't know they know it.

I fully agree with the author's every assessment of this movie and its trailer.

Yea, I was pretty pumped up when I saw the trailer yesterday. It has been awhile since I've looked forward to a new Marvel movie.

Right on!! Tony Stark is a dick! But the movie looks like it's gonna rock!

And that trailer actually took out some of the most awesome parts they showed at Comic-Con.

Also, most of that trailer? Practical effects. So go ahead, have a multiple orgasm night.

I has a boner.

isn't he supposed to get paralyzed?????

spiderman3 PWNS this....john favereau, u used to be cool.

I would make sweet, sweet love to this movie.

*wibble*

nuff said

I actually HATE that they're using Sabbath, but love every other thing about it.

TROLL

I don't want to be a nay-sayer, but...I really don't know...

Ya, saw this during Monday Night Football. My jaw hit the floor and I couldn't stop staring off into space when it was over, my buddy walked in the room and was like... wtf is wrong with you?

This man is dangerously low on testosterone. Someone get him a booster shot.

*splooge*

ohmyfuckinggodican'twaitforthemovietocomeoutitlooksso-
fuckingniceandhesoundssofuckingawesomeandcomepletely-
isafuckingassholeandit'sperfect!

*gasp*

i wish this movie could drop a bomb and remove the Civil War from reality. i've stopped even caring about the Marvelverse until they do another complete reset. so hooray slick as shit looking movies!

did I see an A-Team melon-firing-armoured-tank-building reference in there? (The article, not Iron Man)

((But shhiiiiiiiit, if it were in Iron man too!!!))

oh my god i am book marking that page for when ever i need a pick me up. i can't wait!!!

I really liked the trailer. I'm not even particularly an Iron Man fan, but I'll definitely go see it when it comes out. Favreau and Downey Jr. seem to have brought a dark humour edge to it that I like.

Go Marvel!!! (and purists....fuckin' chill)

are you fucking shitting me?