NEWS: Tuesday Tasting: Three Things That Kinda Suck

GEEK: Tuesday Tasting: Three Things That Kinda Suck

Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.

Second Life Finds A Way To Suck More

The fact that you meet more furries than friends is only one of the reasons Second Life can suck at times. Adding to that factor, your avatar can now apparently fuck a unicorn to receive a virtual baby unicorn pet to play with. Yes, fuck - a - unicorn. While we're sure there's more than enough fetishes out there to cover a desire for some S&M with mythical, virtual creatures, being banged by a one-horned beast just doesn't play to our fancy.

Wanking With Your Wii

To anyone who said the Wii was a waste of time, a new game begs to differ. PandiPanda is a game that uses your Nintendo Wii-mote skills to their fullest. Using a graceful and quick up and down grip, the goal of the game appears to be to masturbate your panda faster than your opponent. It seems all those years of awkward high school experimentation will come in "handy" after all. [via]

Vibrator Sucks At Getting You Off

Objectifying your household objects, LoveHoney makes you look forward to chores. The Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator extends to give a good cleaning where it counts. The flow of air makes the gadget vibrate and stimulate. The site claims "you'll never moan about Hoovering again", which isn't the most accurate copywriting to an earlier claim of "better, longer orgasms".

Wow...

I mean, unicorns are awesome and all, but do we really need that?

At least we can now rest safely, knowing that people who would want to fuck a unicorn will now be on second life longer, giving them less time to add their pro-unicorn fucking tendencies to the gene pool.

Charlie ..... Charlie ..... candy mountain Charlie

well, I've always wanted to have sex with a unicorn...

Waahh...

aaaaaaaaahahahahahaa!!!!!!..... whew....

It was only a matter of time before a video game came out that I might be as good at as I am at Galaga.

Dude I could totally take you at Galaga. (off topic really)

I do want that vacuum attachment though. Nothing like a little suck and twitch on the ladybits! Wooo Hooo!

NUH-UH.

hahah
fucking hilarious. the world is almost over. just a little but more...

that intro picture on the left.

can't stop laughing.

and just so you all know, i would PWN you all at the PandiPanda game.

Speaking of fucking unicorns...

Now, that is funny. Best laugh I've had in at least a week.

One: I want that Wii game. Does that say something about me?

Two: Fucking a Unicorn is the best Youtube Video I have seen this week!

I'm a little bothered that someone claims to have watched that 50 times. I mean I know he openly acknowledges he has no life but, wft. .. he could have.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4O_3fYlHZA

For the hearing impaired!

Well, someone has to get pandas' collective sex drives up....

Will Howard Stern get royalties for the vacuum sex machine? That is like a 15 year old bit.

Ask "Mr. Hand" which he thinks worse now that he's DEAD!

I was gonna post the actual video but it makes me sick and I don't think it'd be cool to do so here. We save that sick shit for the Rigor Mortis Group.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan

Thanks! I've had my daily dose of bizzare. And that video was funny.

Now I'm going to have that silly tune stuck in my head for a week.

Why is she still wearing pants? Why does a unicorn dick look like a revolver?


For some reason, when I saw the words "fuck a unicorn," I visualized one of two scenarios:

1) Someone behind a unicorn fucking it.

2) Someone getting fucked by the actual horn.

she's still wearing pants because she doesnt want to get naked in public! geeez! can't you see how embarassed she would be?

"Oh man, check out that girl over there getting fucked by the unicorn... her pants are down!"

"Ha Ha Ha! Somebody must have pantsed her! What a geek!"