NEWS: Diamonds Are The Earth's Best Friend

GEEK: Diamonds Are The Earth's Best Friend

If goofy old Marilyn Monroe movies ever taught me anything, it's that being a gentleman's illicit plaything can be a pretty sweet deal as long as there's some ice to back it up.

Wait. No.

If goofy old Marilyn Monroe movies ever taught me anything, it's that you can always rely on diamonds to stay true when nothing else in the world is left. I'd wager she wasn't referring to tectonic plates and the history of the earth when she shimmied down that red carpet all a-sparkle, but no one ever said those certain rocks were only ever good for emotional bartering and morale boosts. Just last week, for example, geologists in Australia discovered a real treasure amongst the mystic zircon crystals of Jack Hills -- four-billion year old diamonds, the oldest identified fragments of earth crust to date. This is quite awesome for a few reasons, listed below in no particular order of importance:

1.) Said geologists are now in the clear as far as Christmas presents for their girlfriends this year.

2.) Diamonds are unlikely to contain preserved insects and the like within their core, meaning no additional chances for prehistoric horrors and smug Jeff Goldblums, because Lord knows there's enough of that going around already.

3.) The presence and composite of these diamonds make them possible keys to understanding just how (and when) our planet came into existence.

See, since diamonds are created under extreme amounts of physical pressure or neurotic stress, the common train of thought was that no diamond could date back beyond a couple billion years tops, on account of the the general idea that the earth was chunky molten soup at that point, unsettled and ill-equipped to produce much more than pumice stone. Obviously, this newly-found old ice throws a wrench in that whole idea, suggesting instead that the Earth's crust was already fully-baked and golden as far back as 4.25 billion years ago.

I'm somewhat interested to see what the revisionist history set would have to say about all of this, on account of the continuing differences of opinion in the assumed age of our planet and all, but I'm sure it would just fall boringly along the same old lines of faulty carbon-dating and erroneous logic. Still, one can hope for something entertaining. Perhaps Adam bought Eve her engagement ring at De Beers, or something equally tre romantic. Regardless of that silliness, however, I know this much is true: from the time the ground formed beneath us -- well, I could go with the Monroe clip, but I think Ms. Bassey sums up the rest of our point most succintly. Take us home, Shirls.




_DictionaryGirl_ knows that we are living in a material world, and she is a material girl. Now: everybody, quick! Stare ominously at Margot_Dent. Then applaud her for the link, the boss title, and her killer sense of style.

Another good article.

I, for one, am not a huge fan of paying ridiculous amounts of money for a rock, whether it be a diamond or a ruby or whatever. Apparently, I'm easy and cheap. Must be why my husband married me.

wait how many years old are they?

The diamonds in the missus' ring are only about a billion and a half years old.
I'm in so much shit

Come on.
We all know God put those diamonds there to test us.
Just like he did with dinosaur bones.

Over 9000!

Scientists? With girlfriends!? Oh, DG, you are such a card!

Diamonds are crap. Unless they're a pretty natural color... Or four billion years old. I say fuck'em.
They are the baseball cards of the jewelery world.

Clearly. Don't you know you can't trust scientific evidence? If a book says its true, then its true. The book knows.

I love geology! I had one class in 8th grade and it rocked!

I don't like diamonds, specialy after watching blood diamond movies, I will never buy one.

The Valedictorians of MIT, class of 85, would like to have a word with you.

Best use of a sound bite EVER!

Worst pun EVER!!

Jesus buried those dinosaur bones. Get it right next time.

I agree. Those diamonds can't possibly be more than 5000 years old or so. Buncha frickin' liars them satantists are.

Cool article. Whoda thought. Seriously, I wonder if there's going to be a report coming out that the dating was wrong. I wouldn't be surprised at all, because up to this point EVERYTHING we know says that those rocks can't be THAT old. I mean, the oldest moon rocks are what? 3.5 billion years old or something like that (not that we'd know, because we've never been to the moon either)? Crazy shit man, crazy shit. Yesterday scientists announced that they've spotted water vapor around a young star system (in the age that planets start forming), which also upsets everything we know about planet formation - we think that water was delivered here by comets and the like, but what if it was just here at formation? Wierd. Keep the geek!

There is, of course, a slim possibility that said diamonds weren't formed on Earth, but could instead be leftovers from a chunk of space-rock; it's not like the early solar system was short of such things and since we're all made from the leftovers of a supernova anyhow (any element above iron on the periodic table is only formed in any significant amounts during a supernova, therefore since we have stuff like gold and uranium we're all, as Moby rather cheesily put it, made of stars) there's a possibility they could be extraterrestrial (should that be one word or two?).

What interests me even more than ancient diamonds that may or may not be from space is quite how the hell they dated them. Carbon dating only works when you've got C14 getting formed in the upper atmosphere and being absorbed as CO2 during photosynthesis. For that matter, where the hell did this carbon come from if not from space? Diamonds are normally the end-result of squashing a bunch of trees through the stage where they're coal, till you get diamond right? If we're talking about very very early earth then there just wasn't the flora around, unless it's not just geological history but biological history that's in need of revision in light of these findings.

Actually, given all this I'm leaning toward the "God's testing us, the big prankster" argument

emeralds, rubies, and sapphires FTW

emeralds are really only useful until you get to Nightmare. by then everything is too poison resistant for them to be of any use.

Actually, according tot he Chick tracts, it was satan, so how about YOU get it right!

And say what you will about the Jurassic Park series, but number 3 was good clean fun, no philosophy for literary rejects and no Jeff Goldblum saw to that...it was like watching a good old classic dinosaur picture like your grandpa used to watch.

As far as diamonds go, I'd like to know when the future prophesied by Dr. Claw will come true, I want my diamond CPU!

wha?

I wish I could turn my neurotic stress into something that beautiful. Perhaps I'm just a billion years shy of achieving my goals...

nerd stuff

oh. figures. i don't speak nerd.

happy birthday btw

You could always invest in some of those pretty stones from Zirconia.

na can't blame god, its older than god, blame cthulu