NEWS: Brother And Sister Try To Kill America With Bread Ingredient

POLITICS: Brother And Sister Try To Kill America With Bread Ingredient

Sometimes when I read a news story I want to run outside and hug the first law enforcement officer I come across. After the hug, I would pull back and look deeply into those protecting eyes and says, “Thank you for saving my life and keeping me safe.” This is one of those stories.

At 5 pm on Thursday in New Haven, Connecticut, police received a terrifying call reporting activity in an IKEA store parking lot.

Holy shit! Have you ever heard of anything so fucking scary? When police arrived they discovered “powder connected by arrows and chalk.” The police didn’t take any chances and quickly evacuated the IKEA store. Their response saved the lives of many people – who are deathly allergic to flour.

Then one of the terrorists returned and the motherfucker was riding a bicycle. Daniel Salchow told police that he and his sister had sprinkled flour in the parking lot as part of a running trail for his goofy running club.

Salchow is a member of the Hash House Harriers, a worldwide group who enjoy drinking and running. The siblings were using the flour to create a complicated trail that was designed to confuse runners. The club has used flour to mark trails all across the country.

The city of New Haven now obviously had a situation on their hands. The local cops had evacuated an IKEA store because of flour in the parking lot. Not a pile of flour, but flour that was in the shape of arrows. Only a fucking moron would think it was a bio-weapon. The smart play here would be to acknowledge that it was a misunderstanding, maybe tell Salchow to inform the department in the future, and LET IT GO.

Unfortunately, Salchow and his sister were in the United States of America, where we have a long standing tradition of overreacting to ridiculous objects and claiming they are terrorist weapons. But New Haven wanted to surpass the duct tape alarm clock scare in Montrose and the circuit boards with lights panic in Boston. Salchow and his sister have been charged with first-degree breach of peace, which his a felony.

Great call, douche bags. The guy came back when he heard the store had been evacuated to explain the substance was only flour. He could have just gone home, cracked a beer an watched the idiot cops on the news. But he didn’t. Salchow was a responsible man who did the right thing and now he faces a possible felony conviction. And now the world thinks the New Haven police department is full of fucking morons.

Actually, if you see powder connected by arrows and chalk, YOU DO KNOW. I advise the Mayor and local police not to attend any football games, because the fields are covered with bio-weapons. Also, I bake a hell of an anthrax sourdough loaf, if they want to know the difference.

What a bunch of idiots. At least Boston was reacting to electronic gadgets on bridges and buildings (though I still can't believe there wasn't even ONE Boston cop who recognized the Aqua Teen character).
(FTR, I'm surprised you're not gloating over the long overdue departure of Alberto Gonzales!)

Charge the cops, not the kids. Good grief...

"The Terrorists" have won.

Dear God, this is the first I've heard of it. Guess I shouldn't go straight to SG when I wake up

Well, it's the first place I go when I log on, too...
I just assumed you knew, or I'd have linked a news story.

Short and short of it, A.G., the AG, sent an open letter to Bush resigning, then Bush went on TV and whined about how his buddy "Al" had his "good" name dragged through the mud.

If we overreact to EVERYTHING SirPsychoSexy is right. And guess what ,we are the terrorists. We are scared shitless of our own shadow.

WTF

Does this at least mean we can end bake sales?

disgusting.

i was thinking DEATH BY YEAST INFECTION>>>>>>

My god, they are SO right. It could have been much, much worse than terrorists.

That's something that's disgusted me for a long time. The Soviets were scary. They had the power to destroy all human life. Osama bin Laden is not scary. He doesn't have to unhook himself from a dialysis machine.

What the fuck have we come to as a country?

Just to be clear, these weren't kids.

The funny thing is, most of the Hashers I have known were military folks...

It started way back in the day with the Brits, but I think most of the US hashing was imported from US soldiers coming back from Korea, where running and drinking were some of the only safe forms of entertainment/fitness...

Way to screw the little people because you are inept, New Haven PD.

KI

*claps sarcastically*

good job men

Sigh.

If the TV media and the stupid TV zombie consumer whores who watch it can let one terrorist attack six years ago drive the nation into such a fear-ridden stupor that we arrest people for sprinkling flour on the ground, or hanging up some unusual signs, then the terrorists have truly won.

gg, America.

They are morons......Seek restitution?
What exactly is restitution for being an idiot?

I am imagining the terrorists planning their next attack. Sort of like Clue.

"In Albuquerque, at JC Penny's, with corn starch."

And sadly, they still didn't figure it out... the kid had to come back and tell them.


Totally lame.

i liked cops and prosecutors better when they used to be smart-ish.

I don't have a problem with the fact that they evacuated the store since they didn't know what the substance was.
I find it a little ridiculous to charge the people though. It's not like they were even planning a prank.

We are living in the best of all possible worlds, my friend.

When was this?

Also, NOT KIDS; these people were in their 30's. It's still a dumb overreaction but it's not against little kids. It's against fully adult Germans.