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FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

AUG 21, 2007 12:43 AM



You may have heard of William Mulholland. He was the chief engineer of the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power and an arrogant douche bag. He is the man responsible for the Los Angeles Aqueduct, which resulted in the death of Owens Lake. Along with the lake, went an entire community of farmers and an ecosystem. But the fight over the aqueduct was the basis of the movie Chinatown, so it actually may have been worth it.

Mulholland’s best quality was that he was a “self-taught engineer.” (If you ever hear someone claim they are a self-taught engineer, do not hire them.) His engineering abilities eventually led to the death of between 500 and 2,000 people and ended his career in Los Angeles.

In 1924 Mulholland built the St. Francis damn 40 miles northwest of Los Angeles. Having no idea what he was doing, he built the damn on water soluble sedimentary rock. The east side of the dam was built on schist and the west side of the damn was built on sandstones and conglomerates that were soluble in water. It was only a matter of time before the dam would collapse.

That day came on March 12, 1928. The dam broke at midnight and 12 billion gallons of water rushed 54 miles to the Pacific Ocean. At its peak the water was 78 feet high. Entire towns were wiped off the face of the Earth. Bodies were carried out to sea. The collapse of the dam is the worst civil engineering failure of the 20th century.

Why bring it up in the newswire? Because the same thing thing is about to happen in Iraq, this time due to the arrogance of Saddam Hussein. Mosul is the third largest city in Iraq, with a population of around 650,000. The city has been inhabited for 8,000 years and is the home of the tomb of Jonah. It is on the Tigris River in Northern Iraq and also sits below the massive Saddam Dam that is ready to collapse.


“It’s not stable... we anticipate it going. It is beyond repair,” said Col. Stephen Twitty, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division commander.


It’s not for a lack of trying. So far, $28 million has been spent on fixing the dam, but it is beyond help. Saddam built the dam in 1983 upriver from Mosul because it was “pretty.” Unfortunately, he built the dam on Gypsum, a sedimentary rock that dissolves in water over time.


If the dam, which holds back 12 billion cubic meters of water, crumbles, the Tigris would not only flood Mosul, leaving the city of almost 2 million people under water, but would also flood the U.S. air base. That base includes the U.S. Combat Support Hospital for the region, as well as the airport.


Maybe dying in a natural disaster will be a nice change of pace for people who keep dying at the hands of their fellow man. If the dam breaks, troops hope to get everyone into two stadiums – in 3.5 hours.


The whole town will be swept out.


To add to the impending disaster, the dam’s hydroelectric plant gives Mosul its power. In a last ditch effort, a concrete plant has been built nearby to fill the holes that open up in the dam with cement. What a fucking nightmare.

Metaverse

Metaverse

USA
March 2005

AUG 21, 2007 09:08 AM

Hey, maybe we can build an ark and float out all the US Troops from Iraq in one fell swoop?! wink

JekyllAndHyde

JekyllAndHyde

Baltimore, MD
April 2005

AUG 21, 2007 09:22 AM

If there is a massive flood, will the conservative faux-Christians take it as a sign from God that it's time to leave that area? Wouldn't that be a fun contradiction: God said to invade Iraq, but then he sent a flood as a sign to tell us to leave. Maybe some heads will explode while they try to figure it the implications. I think that'd be a funny sight (but it would really suck to be the guy who has to clean it up).

Untimely

Untimely

Chicago, IL
January 2007

AUG 21, 2007 09:40 AM

Where's Michael Brown when we need him?

Maybe Halliburton can helicopter in some displaced Katrina survivors -- to teach Mosul residents how to loot.

VinnyVidiVici

VinnyVidiVici

Orange Park, FL
February 2006

AUG 21, 2007 09:44 AM

Unfortunately, he built the dam on Gypsum, a sedimentary rock that dissolves in water over time.



oh noes! what were they thinking?

SirPsychoSexy

SirPsychoSexy

Ridgewood, NJ
January 2004

AUG 21, 2007 10:19 AM

Vinny_Blaze said:

Unfortunately, he built the dam on Gypsum, a sedimentary rock that dissolves in water over time.



oh noes! what were they thinking?



Saddam built the dam in 1983 upriver from Mosul because it was "pretty."

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

AUG 21, 2007 10:31 AM

Yikes.

FridgeMagnet

FridgeMagnet

Chicago, IL
November 2004

AUG 21, 2007 10:35 AM

A-HA! So Saddam DID build a weapon of mass destruction!!!

Rapid_Fire

Rapid_Fire

Saskatoon, SK
July 2007

AUG 21, 2007 11:41 AM



O man of Shurrupak, son of Ubara-Tutu; tear down your house and look for life, despise worldly goods and save your soul alive. Tear down your house, I say, and build a boat. These are the measurements of the barque you shall build her: let her beam equal her length, let her deck be roofed like the vault of the abyss; then take up into the boat the seed of all living creatures.



From the Epic of Gilgamesh. Some advice never goes out of style!

Tae

Tae

USA
March 2004

AUG 21, 2007 12:44 PM

Saddam is a self-taught dictator who ruled a country....and built a dam....doesn't surprise me a bit.

Gerry_D

Gerry_D

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

AUG 21, 2007 01:11 PM

finally, a huge Iraq fuck up that's not started by us.

zoom image

This officer could surf that shit when it goes

lefthandright

lefthandright

New Zealand
September 2006

AUG 21, 2007 02:05 PM

That country is just not having a good time of it...bad luck comes in three's...first a dictator, who despite winning u.n. awards for literacy and economic development, still in the end screwed everything over...a on going conflict with has killed 100,000's of it's people, and now a shoddy infrastructure which they can't afford to rebuild/replace/renew....i feel sorry for the people who live there.

Doc_Brietz

Doc_Brietz

Fort Sill, OK
January 2006

AUG 21, 2007 04:08 PM

i sure hope i aint downstream from that shit when it goes. that will suck!

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

AUG 21, 2007 04:09 PM

Holy crap. Mosul - the whole city - might be destroyed if that dam goes? frown

badsun

badsun2

Olympia, WA
March 2007

AUG 21, 2007 04:23 PM

what is saddest to me is that between insurgency and political bickering The dam will continue to power Mosul as an epicenter (because it has power) right up until it collapses. In stead of them building an alternative power source and taking down the dam properly.. at which point it will be counted as an American failure to provide electricity. ARRR!!!

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

AUG 21, 2007 04:28 PM

badsun said:
what is saddest to me is that between insurgency and political bickering The dam will continue to power Mosul as an epicenter (because it has power) right up until it collapses. In stead of them building an alternative power source and taking down the dam properly.. at which point it will be counted as an American failure to provide electricity. ARRR!!!



Whoa... Are you saying that the worst part of this is the damage to American public relations? I hope I misread that.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 21, 2007 04:35 PM

Of course they could just build a nuclear power plant.

This way, we would have an excuse for the next time we (the U.S.) invade them.

xazapdmytinu

xazapdmytinu

Fort Collins, CO
July 2007

AUG 21, 2007 04:44 PM

Does anyone else think the name Saddam Dam is really funny?

Well, if you can't be immortalized by doing something awesome might as well be remembered for being a colossal douche.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 21, 2007 04:46 PM

Or "Dam Hussein."

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

AUG 21, 2007 05:21 PM

w/o Mulholland, L.A. really wouldn't exist, as far as I am concerned

ole ole ole for Mulholland

GRAK

GRAK

Iraq
February 2007

AUG 21, 2007 06:25 PM

Gerry_D said:
finally, a huge Iraq fuck up that's not started by us.

zoom image

This officer could surf that shit when it goes



Charlie don't surf!

photoline

photoline

Edmonton, AB
January 2005

AUG 21, 2007 06:57 PM

At least Iraq has something in common with America now.

bigorangemachine

bigorangemachine

York, ON
January 2005

AUG 21, 2007 07:20 PM

I think it's interesting how the dam is going to collapse about a year after his execution.

r00kers

r00kers

Nederland, CO
February 2003

AUG 21, 2007 07:39 PM


I think it's interesting how the dam is going to collapse about a year after his execution.


'Exit The King'

SnowgodCCR

SnowgodCCR

Derry, NH
November 2006

AUG 21, 2007 07:54 PM

photoline said:
At least Iraq has something in common with America now.



Which America? North America? South America? The reigon generally refered to as "Central America"?


"Saddam Dam" Is just hilarious....oh that name....maybe our cleanup effort will help our PR some? Ahhhh....building on unstable ground. Maybe it will just end up like the Leaning Tower of Piza, but we can call is the "Damned Saddam Dam" instead.

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