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AceT

AceT

Portland, OR
April 2004

AUG 15, 2007 11:40 PM

Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran," FOX News has learned.

Source


I love this story so very much.

AceT

AceT

Portland, OR
April 2004

AUG 15, 2007 11:41 PM

I also need to learn how to spell allegedly.

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

AUG 15, 2007 11:49 PM

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 15, 2007 11:53 PM

How is this not front page on The Globe?

And he's being sued for $63 billion, billion dollars?

Whoever wrote that story for Fox should take some remedial math courses.

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

AUG 15, 2007 11:54 PM

he also stole my mule

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

AUG 16, 2007 12:26 AM

TheGringo said:
How is this not front page on The Globe?

And he's being sued for $63 billion, billion dollars?

Whoever wrote that story for Fox should take some remedial math courses.



I think that's a direct quote from the "hand-written complaint" actually. wink

BlastProcessing

BlastProcessing

USA
OLD SKOOL

AUG 16, 2007 12:28 AM

What's that thing where someone can be held in contempt for frivolously wasting the court's time?

_Elichrusos

_Elichrusos

Australia
November 2004

AUG 16, 2007 12:41 AM

bean said:

TheGringo said:
How is this not front page on The Globe?

And he's being sued for $63 billion, billion dollars?

Whoever wrote that story for Fox should take some remedial math courses.



I think that's a direct quote from the "hand-written complaint" actually. wink



I think so too, but I'd expect it to have an [sic].

Wait, FOX news. All bets are off.

AceT

AceT

Portland, OR
April 2004

AUG 16, 2007 01:05 AM

The original handwritten court filing is comedic gold.

_Elichrusos

_Elichrusos

Australia
November 2004

AUG 16, 2007 01:10 AM

AceT said:
The original handwritten court filing is comedic gold.



That's beautiful!

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

AUG 16, 2007 01:11 AM

This is the best lawsuit ever.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 16, 2007 01:18 AM

AceT said:
The original handwritten court filing is comedic gold.


Holy fuck. I can't believe this was an actual letter. It read like some sort of funny hoax that would be forwarded to everyone on your contact list.

I love this:

"MICHAEL VICK continued to harass me on May 4th, 2004 by stealing my identity from my coat. "



I am hoping that CourtTV does a reenactment of the entire case like they did with the Michael Jackson trial.

Admiral_Pants

Admiral_Pants

Austin, TX
May 2004

AUG 16, 2007 02:17 AM

_Elichrusos said:

AceT said:
The original handwritten court filing is comedic gold.



That's beautiful!



Did you see the bit about Michael Vick selling Jonathan Lee Riches merchandise?

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

AUG 16, 2007 04:07 AM

Michael Vick is one evil son-of-a-bitch, I hope they give him the chair

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

AUG 16, 2007 05:32 AM

I heard this on the radio yesterday. My favorite bit is where he says something along the lines of 'Micheal Vick needs to quit physically hurting my feelings'

aleksa

aleksa

Tacoma, WA
April 2006

AUG 16, 2007 05:48 AM

Stop hurting his feeling and dashing his hopes, dammit!!

I think the highlight for me was that he wanted the 63 bajillion dollars delivered to him by UPS.

_Elichrusos

_Elichrusos

Australia
November 2004

AUG 16, 2007 05:49 AM

aleksa said:
Stop hurting his feeling and dashing his hopes, dammit!!

I think the highlight for me was that he wanted the 63 bajillion dollars delivered to him by UPS.



Backed in gold, no less.

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

AUG 16, 2007 06:39 AM

_Elichrusos said:

aleksa said:
Stop hurting his feeling and dashing his hopes, dammit!!

I think the highlight for me was that he wanted the 63 bajillion dollars delivered to him by UPS.



Backed in gold, no less.



and silver

punk

punk

Phoenix, AZ
January 2004

AUG 16, 2007 06:44 AM

rabidrabbit said:

_Elichrusos said:

aleksa said:
Stop hurting his feeling and dashing his hopes, dammit!!

I think the highlight for me was that he wanted the 63 bajillion dollars delivered to him by UPS.



Backed in gold, no less.



and silver



Does he know it's illegal to own gold? Also, I'm not sure UPS would deliver something that heavy. They'd have to break it up.

AceT

AceT

Portland, OR
April 2004

AUG 16, 2007 10:00 AM

aleksa said:
Stop hurting his feeling and dashing his hopes, dammit!!

I think the highlight for me was that he wanted the 63 bajillion dollars delivered to him by UPS.


That would be the "United States Parcel Service", backed in gold and silver.

My favorite: "Michael Vick subjected me to microwave testing"

The Onion couldn't have come up with something this funny if they tried.

aleksa

aleksa

Tacoma, WA
April 2006

AUG 16, 2007 10:23 AM

AceT said:

aleksa said:
Stop hurting his feeling and dashing his hopes, dammit!!

I think the highlight for me was that he wanted the 63 bajillion dollars delivered to him by UPS.


That would be the "United States Parcel Service", backed in gold and silver.

My favorite: "Michael Vick subjected me to microwave testing"

The Onion couldn't have come up with something this funny if they tried.



F'real. You can't make up this shit.

Mark_plus_Beer

Mark_plus_Beer

United Kingdom
August 2005

AUG 16, 2007 10:26 AM

wow this a whole area of pure crazy i love it

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

AUG 16, 2007 11:53 AM

this si the best story in Current Events for ages

Keri

Keri

SUICIDEGIRL

Virginia, USA

AUG 16, 2007 01:51 PM

due to restrictions on typewriters, this suit was Handwritten.
i'm guessing he's talking about the copyright symbol by his name?


hahahahhaha oh man. biggrin

SnowgodCCR

SnowgodCCR

Derry, NH
November 2006

AUG 16, 2007 02:43 PM

This poor guy was violated under the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 14th amendment to the Constituion, and all you folks can do is laugh at him? I'm laughing AND pointing at him.

He was violated under the 2nd amendment? Michael Vicks infringed on his right to bear arms. That bastard. If anything, I would say that this guy in infringing on Vicks' right to bear arms in the form of Iranian Government Missiles.

What a fucking asshole. He opens his letter with


This suit is a Bivens Action, and civil rights violation by the Constitution a Laws of the United States



In his opening statement, he says himself that his suit is a civil rights violation.
He can't even say that "Constituion a Laws" is a typo, because he wrote it out by hand. Some criminal mastermind this one is....
What a freaking twat.

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