NEWS: A New Generation of Republican Creeps

POLITICS: A New Generation of Republican Creeps

The Republicans of the future are fucked. G Dubs has sunk the party’s reputation on the national level, and the purported Karl Roves of tomorrow are evidently self-destructing.

This week, the newly elected national chairman of the Young Republican National Federation resigned amid allegations of extremely creepy sexual assault. All things considered, that’s no shock. What is surprising is how that chairman of the Young Republicans is in his 30s.

Indiana resident Glenn Murphy, who was the chairman for only about a month, is 33-years-old. He’s fucking older than me, and I’m decrepit and ancient, prone to use words like “youngster” and “whippersnapper.” Isn’t part of the job of the Young Republicans to convince otherwise politically apathetic youths that GOP membership is passably young and attractive? How’s a 33-year-old supposed to do that? With mortgage statements?

Advanced age is the least of his problems now. Murphy left the post after being accused, for the second time, of sexually assaulting a dude while the dude was asleep. The arrest report for the most recent allegation, which occurred on July 28, is available online. The report is so creepy, it made me spit out my coffee. Twice.

According to the report, Murphy attended a party with other Young Republicans and got his drink on. The home owner let Murphy and others crash at the house. Murphy and the home owner’s brother slept in bunk beds (bunk beds!). The unnamed 22-year-old brother awoke from his drunken slumber on the bottom bunk to find Murphy, in the complainant’s words, “holding my dick with one hand and sucking my dick with his mouth.”

In 1998, Murphy was accused of a startlingly similar sexually deviant act in 1998, where Murphy also allegedly performed oral sex on a sleeping man.

Being a dude who likes to give blow jobs makes Murphy an unlikely candidate for Republican bigwig. Being a dude who likes to give blow jobs without the other party’s consent, well, pretty much makes him a rapist. His attorneys are reportedly trying to argue the act was consensual, which will be a tough sell considering that the victim says he was sound asleep until the incident occurred.

In a statement, Murphy claimed he ended his brief tenure as Young Republican chairman because a recently acquired professional contract prevented him from taking part in partisan political activities.

Even if the dude on dude sexual assault was only incidental to his retiring from the young republican life, it’s still viciously ironic. As a political advisor, Murphy reportedly urged his candidates to exploit divisive social wedge issues like the gay marriage to hurt democratic candidates.

If Murphy himself became involved in a gay marriage, maybe his husband wouldn’t object to popping Ambien before the regularly scheduled blow job time.

to quote Steven Colbert
"the best place to get your daily man meat serving is to cruise the anti-gay buffet"

Hmm, are all Re-pube-lickins cocksuckers??? Hmmm...

Ya know, it happens... Sometimes you wake up with a guy sucking your dick, you gotta roll with the punches.

they SAY it wasn't consensual, but they're young republicans, so of course they'll deny their partaking in consensual homo-erotic pleasure...I consider myself a democrat and would therefore never actually admit to occasionally reading US News and World report.

Well, if he goes to jail, he'll have all the dick he can suck (and he won't have to work for it!)

There's always a silver lining.

christ.

there's an onion article there somewhere.

Maybe thats why republicans are so dead set against gay marriage. Be harder to suck the passed out guys dick with his husband sleeping right next to him.

You know I wouldn't mind going into politics but I just don't think I'm kinky enough to cut it.

This story is precious!

I suppose young republicans would be in their 30s...that is when most frat brothers "grow up" and turn in their animal house antics for a steady job (think dubya). That is why I preferred the young anarchists. The head of the group would have been no older than 22 and the rest of us would not have paid any attention to him or her, even if free blow jobs were available.

For some reason, this kind of shit makes me want to Laugh my Ass off!!

"Why Do These Sleeping Men Keep Shoving Their Dicks in My Mouth?"

By Glenn Murphy

This is classic. I almost wish I still lived in Indiana so I could find that guy and show him the episode of South Park where Butters wakes up to find Cartman "accidentally" sucking his dick (or something like that).

I wonder how long the young'n was awake before he finally 'awoke' and demanded that he stop?

Also, I find it amusing that if he had assaulted a woman while she was sleeping, people would more than likely be way more pissed off than this.

Yeah, it's always totally hysterical when men are sexually assaulted, especially if they are Republicans.

I know you're being sarcastic, but . . there's some truth in that.

I think I'm starting to get a glimmering as to why so many of these closet-cases have the internalized homophobia, though. If all gay men behaved the way they behave, then homosexuality would be a serious moral and legal problem in need of restrictive legislation. In other words, they seem to be generalizing to all gay men the particular extremely unhealthy attitudes they themselves hold.

The irony is that if they accepted themselves to begin with, they likely wouldn't be goddamn sleazy, and their lack of sleaziness couldn't further justify their self-hating hypocrisy.

I wonder if all police reports use "advised" as much as this one does...

... and last night's South Park featured Cartman taking pictures of his junk in Butters' mouth... coincidence?

If these are the people who are representing the so-called Red State voters, it makes me wonder exactly what kind of skeletons the reddies have in their closet...

I think at the very least it demonstrates that conformity is an acquired taste even, and perhaps especially, for its greatest proponents.

This reminds me of all the televangelical adultery scandals back in the '80's.

I have no moral objections whatsoever to pansexuality, prostitution, or polyamory, but I cannot countenance hypocrisy, breach of promise, or nonconsensual sex acts of any kind. If you have any of that in you, you have a moral obligation to accept it and behave responsibly and honorably with it.

Otherwise, we can see what happens. The desire comes out, destroying people in the process, while in the meantime they try to place the burden of their own repression on society.

So Republicans are waiting until Americans fall asleep and then fucking them. How is this news?

"I prayed to God every night to stop putting these dicks in my mouth, but my prayers went unanswered. I'm the victim here!"

Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my Cock?

This is why I do not let Republicans sleep over at my house.

Well, what else would you suck a dick with? A vacuum cleaner?

I laughed

conversely, maybe they needed a cover and chose deep republican as cover because they thought "hey, wheres the last place a gay would work? oh yeah, for the republicans!" now, all thier covers are being blown... and blown... and blown....

and im spent.