NEWS: Rockabye, Baby...Hey, That's a Sweet MP3 Player!

GEEK: Rockabye, Baby...Hey, That's a Sweet MP3 Player!

You know those teenie weenie little LCD TV screens that you sometimes see flashing cartoons at dummified children in the back of SUVs? I hate those things. Seriously, if I was buying a car (not an SUV, just a car) and the sales rep told me that the little TV thingie came free, I'd tell them to take it out. And if they said that they couldn't, I'd get a different car. That's how much I hate them.

Also on my list of hated items are MP3 players for babies. Does this make me a Luddite? Am I hopelessly stuck in the past? Sobeit. Following Fisher-Price's lead with the iTod, we now have Hasbro teaming up with Creative Labs to market an MP3 player targeted at "the parents" of "infants from birth to 3."

One proven way that the potential of new technology can be maximized in the everyday lives of new parents is by providing them with a way to distract and shut their kids up.

Here's an idea: Try singing that very same lullaby to the hump dumpling. You two just might have a bonding moment, and maybe he won't grow up to be a socially retarded, navigationally-challenged (turn the damn LCD TV off and tell him to look at the window) droid.

I'll be impressed when palm pilots for infants hit shelves...

hump dumplings....how cute. ill definitely have to remember that.

iTod? For fucks sake, what's next? The wiiTod?

And for the record, I hope those kids up there (^^^^^^) go thru life with permanently mis-shapen heads because their parents put headphones on their soft skulls!!!

Oh sweet!

Finally! Another way to give babies something that ends in "syndrome" and doesn't require me to shake so many fucking babies!

Aren't things like this a bit like placing your infant under sensory deprivation? Headphones cut people off from the outer world; using headphones is not at all the same thing as playing music in the room. Why would anyone think this was a healthy idea?

The iEmbryo.

putting earphones on a infant seems like a bad idea in sooooo many ways.

There's no way an adult can set an appropriate volume of headphones for a newborn baby. Way to get an early start damaging that kid's hearing!

Never too early to have your kid learn all the words to The Clash's London Calling....am I right?

If they start screaming and crying, then you know it's too loud.

And then you crank the volume up, and after a while they'll go deaf and won't cry any more! Hooray for progress!

you are, in fact, correct.

I'm thinking The iGote.

What if it's your horrible rendition of "Toxic" that's making your baby cry?

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Ah that's awesome.

That just gave me a sudden desire to see someone film another version of this video where all the people are replaced by a gang of angry toddlers:

If anyone does that, I would pay them with drugs and sex. Just because it would be so cute, in an odd way.

No no no. You're missing the point. We need to sell more gadgets to keep our economy healthy and growing. And if the child grows up to be socially alienated and emotionally deprived, so much the better. He/she will seek to compensate for feeling unloved by buying more stuff to fill the inner emptiness. And we can prescribe him expensive medications to treat the problem. Keeping the whole economy strong and thriving. This is what makes America great!...

I'm not sure if this iTod thing will make much difference to whether children are raised properly or not; if you're a good parent that's determined to bond with your child, I doubt an mp3 player will stop you. But if you're a crap parent, then the iTod will just be another toy in your arsenal of ways to distract your child and stop them bothering you. If there was no iTod, parents would just hire a nanny or pop their kids in front of the TV instead.

ADD makers if you ask me. Maybe the nurses should blow pot smoke in the kids faces too.

that's wrong for many reasons... besides hearing loss... *sigh* Why does so many people keep doing the wrong things for money

Um. Did anyone at Fisher-Price consult, you know, the German language before naming this device?

that's a true fact

Navigationally challenged....lol....

Too many people are that way.

Poor babies... my babies aren't going to have any tv, or gadgets, I'll play them music, but I'll also sing to them, and tell them stories, and show them things, and take them for walks, and give them doohickeys to play with that will make them think and learn motor skills and whatnot (i.e. balls! and teddy bears!)...

And advertisements will be banned...

Hehe... I'm such a fuckin' idealist. But I plan to live up to it. *grin*

I'm equally as pissed off at parents who buy these stupid things for their kids. One of the best things about travelling in the car is looking out the window at things passing by. Strange looking people picking their nose in the car next to you, or cows and horses in the country side... And mp3 players for kids? What the fuck?

Yes it is. It's also true that it is best introduced while being danced around on the hip of your mama, while she sings along to the stereo, not on headphones. Bleh.