NEWS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup – Double Deluxe Weekend Edition

POLITICS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup – Double Deluxe Weekend Edition

It's Saturday and you know what that means: It's time for another FearTheReaper Asshole Fuckface Roundup! This week there was such an amazing amount of Asshole Fuckfaces that I was forced to Super Size the Roundup. ItÂ’s Double Deluxe Asshole Fuckface weekend! A Saturday AND Sunday Fuckface bonanza! Hang on to your sphincters and take a look at this weekÂ’s winners.

Which Asshole Fuckfaces hate whales besides the Japanese? The White House.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration recommended that ship speed limits along the eastern seaboard be lowered during the migration of North Atlantic right whales. The number of right whales on Earth is now less than 300 and the leading cause of death for the endangered species is being hit by a ship. Calves are the most vulnerable to the murder boats.

The White House, of course, has delayed taking any action while they talk to their foreign shipping buddies. The review period is usually on 90 days, but the White House has refused to make a decision for 9 months. Now the White House Council of Economic Advisors is reviewing how right whales die, because if you want information on a marine mammal, you ask economists, not biologists.

Meanwhile, the White House is hearing complaints from shipping companies. Or, more specifically, foreign shipping companies. Of the 27 companies that sent a letter to the White House opposing the speed limit reduction, nearly all were foreign owned. Fuck the whales, save the foreign shipping companies!

My next Asshole Fuckface is borderline retarded.

We have now gotten to the point where people who loudly support George Bush are laughed at consistently. It is absurd to back anything he has or is doing. The man is the epitome of a bad president. Yet, they keep opening their mouths and blathering their nonsense. This week the editor of the Weekly Standard, Fred Barnes, took his praise too far when he compared Bush to Lincoln. You can forward this horrible video to 3:13 if you want to avoid Fred comparing Bush to Truman.



It is sad to see a man so deluded; yet we must hold him responsible and label him a Fuckface Asshole.

My next Asshole Fuckface on the list is a group of anonymous people who are a delightful combination of racists and cowards.

Ian Johnson is a Boise State University running back who scored the winning two-point conversion in this year’s Fiesta Bowl. After the game, he got on his knee and proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. The nation watched on national television as she said, “yes.” It was a beautiful moment – except for some people, who saw it as a horrible nightmare of race mixing.

Johnson is black and his fiancé is white, which makes people who are living in the sixties, or Idaho, really angry. The wedding is today and Johnson has been forced to hire security due to the death threats he has received. The threats have come in the form of letter (very 19th century), by phone (very 20th century) and in person (very Cro-Magnon).

Whoa! Carrying a football has nothing to do with marrying our women. Keep up the good work, America! I am swelling with pride.

What would an Asshole Fuckface Roundup be without Republicans and Democrats?

The two parties are making it extra-easy for corporations to purchase the politician of their choice by allowing companies to buy some time at their national conventions.

Thank God. It is way to difficult for companies to buy politicians nowadays and they really need a break. The GOP is doing their best by offering corporate sponsors a round of golf with GOP leaders for only $2.5 million. The Democrats will let a company “host talks” with their politicians for a mere $250,000. That is one hell of a bargain.

Asshole Fuckface and Democratic Representative Diana DeGette does not see any problem with the scheme.

Yeah, why would anyone who pays $250,000 just to talk to you expect any sort of favor for that kind of money?

Republicans hope to pull in $58 million for their convention in Minnesota, while Democrats are looking for a paltry $40 million. The rest of their convention costs will be paid for by public money. These Asshole Fuckaces should not be given a dime of public money if they are taking such massive corporate donations. What is the point? The only reason to give them public money is so they will not sell out. But they are selling out, so we should yank the public funds. Now, whoÂ’s in charge of that?

Fuck.

Congrats to all of this weekÂ’s winners. You each get a pewter FearTheReaper flask!

Double Deluxe weekend continues tomorrow....

It still pains me that racism in this form aims to disrupt such a beautiful thing.
Also, damn she's fine.

Here's Chris Myers fucking up his marriage proposal:

Even if the money were simply donated to charity, the face time is very very important. It's just that the money is the competitive bid for the politician's face time.

But when you have freedom of association, and freedom of speech, people can associate with whom they want, and for rich white politicians, it's other rich white people.

I can't believe you would support someone who plays such a mind-numbingly barbaric war game. Disgusting.

That thread was epic. You should be grateful to him for starting it. Buy him a new shop-vac or something.

I guess it's true what they say: communists are mean, and they have good memories.

Tee-hee.

Black? White? Maybe it's the stadium lights, but they look about the same shade of beige to me...

One drop, dude, one drop.

That's just my cynical way of saying I don't know why anyone gives a bleeding shit about interracial marriage anymore.

First of all, where the hell is the comment box for this article? I had to reply to comment. Anywho...

Fred Barnes, with all his Americentric historical huffing and puffing, speaks as a person who is truly out of touch with the world around him. I wonder if he's ever been outside of the US... Bush is now, without doubt, the model for worst US President that all future US Presidents will be judged against. It's impossible to compare him to any previous US Presidents because no former US President lived in an age that had such a high level of global consciousness. This heightened awareness means more and more people around the world, not just within the US, are scrutinizing him. If there were a global US President Disapproval Pole (and I'd love to see one) Bush would be far above any previous US President.

Just recently I saw a girl from the US studying here in Australia that burst into tears in the middle of a lecture discussion because she never realised how hated her country was before that point... It brought home for me just how ignorant many people in the US are about this issue.

I think he should get a pass. At best, maybe he had a Black grandparent.

i'm just pissed OU lost that game. no race bias, just an OU fan. but you take someone who is hungry lightly and shit happens... just like the god damn Chargers... they broke my heart, and San Diego's heart, but we keep coming back for more. we always come back for more.

Why bring the Poles into this? For what it's worth, back in 2004, a poll of Poles indicated that they were one of the few countries whose population supported Bush's war on terrorism. Also in agreement with him were a majority of Filipinos, who've got their own problems with militant Islam.

I think he wanted to make sure that no one forgot Poland.

Haha ok ok, I'm not sure if you were just being sarcastic or didn't get that I meant to say poll instead of pole... I promise I'll learn2English better