NEWS: Republicans of Yore Would Hate Republicans of Today

POLITICS: Republicans of Yore Would Hate Republicans of Today

I’m going to ask you to try to remember the way things used to be many moons ago, in the year of our Lord two thousand and five. A different party was in control of our Congress. They were known as “The Republicans” and they wanted to do what was best for America. The evil “Democrats” stood in their way.

The Republicans began threatening to use the "Nuclear Option." Senator Trent Lott came up with the name Nuclear Option when discussing the possibility of the Republican majority voting to end the Democrats use of filibusters to stop judicial nominees. The Republicans also couldn’t stop using the phrase, “Let us have an up or down vote.” They were enraged that the minority party would use a legal tactic to stop Bush’s extremist nominees from reaching the bench. Bill Frist explained the injustice.

Oh, no, tyranny! Republicans said it was, “intolerable.” Democrats had used the filibuster to block 10 out of Bush’s 229 nominees! Those motherfuckers! Never mind that the number was far lower than under the previous three presidents. Republicans should get to do what ever the fuck they want!

Thankfully, the Gang of 14 solved the crisis. The gang was made up of seven moderate Republican and Democratic Senators. Together, they had enough votes to end the stand off and allow Samuel Alito to become the newest member of the Supreme Court. Basically, seven Democrats turned out to be pussies and now we have a Supreme Court that would get on its knees and blow corporations. (I mean, if corporations actually had cocks.)

But now, the tables have turned and the Democrats are in charge of Congress. So, how are the Republicans handling it? Are they giving “up or down votes” on legislation? They did scream about it for years, so surely they will stand behind their beliefs now, right? Shockingly, no. The Republicans are actually on track to be the most obstructionist minority in the history of Congress.

Cloture votes shut off extended debate and stop legislation from getting an up or down vote. Democrats would need 60 votes to overcome a filibuster, a number they can’t reach because of their slim majority. Basically, they’re fucked.

This means the Republicans have been able to stop Democrats from ending the Iraq war. They seem unconcerned that a solid majority of Americans want the war to end. Republicans have also blocked legislation on immigration, energy, labor rights and prescription drugs. Majority leader Harry Reid claims it is because Republicans have moved too far to the right.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell sees it another way. He just wants the Democrats to compromise, by bending over and allowing Republicans to shove their cocks inside them. (Or vaginas)

That is a great idea! Take a chance, Democrats and vote for the Nuclear Option.

If they had any balls at all they would just cut the funding like they did in vietnam

oyaji said:
This is the proper response:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I've had him on ignore for awhile now. It's nice.

both parties filibuster -- both parties try to keep the other party from filibustering. Surprise surprise. You've really incised the shit out of things here.

Well, we all can't write obvious, simple points like you have.

Thanks for contributing!!

Did he say that the republicans want to shove their vaginas inside the democrats?

yarp. seen it once. i think it was in Where the Boys Aren't 2586389.

yeah, saw that too. never want to see it again.

Corporations do have cocks. They're called "lobbyists".

Regardless of what you think of their respective policies, this idiotic huffing and puffing over filibusters and procedure has got to stop. The only people who buy it are the hardest of the hardcore base of either party. The amount of time and energy that's wasted in games of "but they said, but you said, nu-uhh, yu-huh!" fills me with rage. And I say this despite the fact that I get a kick out of my parents trying repeat the GOP talking points each time their position changes.

We

Well thought out article. From the title of the article, I thought you would be writing about the fact that the Republican Party had strayed from the principles of limited government and personal freedom which had powered them for forty years. The republicans of today have moved so far to the left that they resemble the democrats of the 1980's. The Democrats now resemble a European socialist party and no one seems to care that we are being systematically converted into a society of pussies. The immigration bill and labor bill blocked by the Republicans were both silly. The labor bill eliminated the right to a secret ballot in union elections and the immigration bill did nothing to prevent undocumented aliens from continuing to pour through our borders. The only good thing to come out of the last seven months in congress is that neither of these bills has passed.

Thanks!

Hahaha. Nice.

Not bad with this one. I have to agree. All I can say is in five years the Chinese will be on top and America will be the ones in the gutter. We will be the pathetic has beens, you guys all ready for that, you ready for us to really get what some people think what we deserve because it is coming and no lube will stop it from being painful. An economically smart president is the only thing that can save us, hmmm we don't seem to have that in next years line up.

hehe. I don't disagree with being a bit obstructionist . . . but I will call "I told you so!" to the 2005 Republicans. Think "A Man for all Seasons:" (my apologies for minor misquotes)

"Would you cut down the laws to get at the Devil?"
"Yes! I would cut down all the laws in England for that!"
"And what would you do, with all the laws being flat, when the Devil turned on you?"

Those rules are there for a reason, and were put there by far smarter people than compose either party today. It's easy to howl for "efficiency" and against "obstruction" when you're on top . . . but in our country, you're never on top for long. When you're suddenly the minority, your opinion changes rapidly . . .

I guess idiotic rambling means more when it comes from a past historical figure.

You're not controversial. You're boring.

so wait...it's okay for moderate republicans to be "Pussies" and vote the way of the dems, but it's NOT okay for dems to be "Pussies" and vote the way of the Republicans?

I'm fairly liberal, but that's a major head scratcher there.

and Mingol-lobbyists fall into the asshole range of the venn diagram of cock/pussy/asshole...who'd have thought such a conservative Supreme Court was so in favor of analingus, huh?

Ovaji-sure there are plenty o' reasonable republicans...they just aren't enough pockets for them to be worth a damn.

(Edit, I made a type, so I thought I go for the gold and make it look deliberate!)

hmm. perhaps. but successful de-Baathification under Bremer and his neocon ilk is a HUGE factor in the clusterfuck we're in in Iraq today.

just something to think about.

Not hard to figure out. The Republicans wanted Alito on the Supreme Court. The Dems did not. Republicans threatened the Nuclear Option. 7 Dems caved like pussies. I was speaking of a particular instance about Alito when i called them pussies. If you want to open it up to a different debate about members of parties compromising over all legislation, by all means. In this case your argument is bullshit because Alito is if anything, worse than Dems were concerned about.

I think what you meant to say was "YAH! U-S-A! U-S-A!"