NEWS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup

POLITICS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup

Hey, kids! It's Saturday and you know what that means: It's time for another Asshole Fuckface Roundup! There are an enormous amount of assholes in the world but only a few make the cut and land up on the FearTheReaper's Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Here are this week's winners:

It is always great to start the Roundup with a federal agency George Bush has destroyed. This week: FEMA.

On Friday, Congress heard testimony about health problems that Hurricane Katrina victims has suffered because they were living in FEMA trailers. FEMA officials knew about health problems resulting from formaldehyde in the trailers, but did not conduct testing.

Formaldehyde can cause respiratory and other problems from long-term exposure. FEMA director David Paulison told Congress that the agency would start performing tests on trailers that were still occupied by 60,000 Katrina survivors. He, did, however leave something out.

Why not? Because the government is selling them! The General Services Administration has auctioned off nearly 40,000 trailers since 2006. Who gives a shit if they are poison chambers? The government needs some cash! FEMA said it has no plans to test any trailers that have been or are being sold.

Yeah, MAYBE!

My next Asshole Fuckface is airline Jet Blue. Jet Blue has been awarded the title this week because they are huge pussies.

Jet Blue made the mistake of trying to promote their with both the left and the right. For years Jet Blue has advertised on Fox News, showed Fox News on its flights and the companies CEO has donated $2300 to Mitt Romney. But then they made a huge mistake. Jet Blue became a sponsor for the Daily Kos yearly convention called Yearly Kos. The airline offered free tickets for featured speakers. This simple business decision caused Bill O’Reilly to lose his mind.

O’Reilly attacked Jet Blue and sent his minions on a campaign to stop the airlines sponsorship of the event. O’Reilly used all of his “No Spin Zone” talents to distort the truth about the Democratic website. He called Daily Kos a “hate filled website,” then went on to list comments from the message boards to back up his claim, comparing the lefty website to the KKK and Nazis. Could you imagine what someone would say about Suicide Girls if they cherry-picked comments from the boards?



Congrats, Bill, you just made the Asshole Fuckface list! But that is to be expected. The real problem here is that Jet Blue caved in to Bill’s blatant lies. Yesterday, Jet Blue pulled their logo from the Yearly Kos website. Jet Blue has come to a decision: They would rather do the bidding of the right wing than be a bi-partisan, equal opportunity company. Message received, Jet Blue. You don’t want my business because I’m not conservative enough. I will no longer fly Jet Blue because they are a company of Asshole Fuckfaces.

Our next Asshole Fuckface is a group of 9 people who made up a military jury.

On April 26, 2006, a nighttime patrol in Iraq decided to kidnap and kill an insurgent. But when they got to his house, he was nowhere to be found. So, what to do? How about grab a retired policeman who had the misfortune of living nearby and kill him? He was only a father of 11, so no big deal.

Three days ago, Cpl. Trent Thomas was convicted of kidnapping and conspiring to murder. Then the 9-member jury went into deliberations on his sentence. He could have received a maximum sentence of life. Prosecutors recommended 15 years. It took the jury a full hour to come up with a harsh punishment. Thomas was reduced in rank from corporal to private and given a bad-conduct discharge. Take that, you murdering motherfucker! That should really show the Iraqis that we are on their side.

Our final Asshole Fuckface is none other than Tom Delay. He is possibly America’s greatest Asshole Fuckface of all time and this week he showed why.

Tommy was speaking at the College Republicans annual convention and he managed to delightfully to combine the topics of immigration and abortion. You can enjoy the young college Republicans explain why they don’t join up to fight in the Iraq war they support, or you can forward to 3:45 to see why Delay is an Asshole Fuckface.



What a great solution to immigration. It sort of reminds me of Hitler.

I thought about it, Tommy, and I decided you are an Asshole Fuckface.

All of this week’s Asshole Fuckfaces will receive a pair of FearTheReaper mittens. Congrats!

What, no harry potter?

Also, lol Godwintacular post!

"Uh, what might not - convince me not to join, is if somehow, I become, like, a really good like speaker and stuff like that. That's what might convince me not to join."

illegal immigrants fill the jobs we americans are to proud to fill.

Not so much too proud as much as incapable of economically sustaining us (under non-Keynesian capitalism, anyway) in the First World lifestyle we regard as our birthright.

People are ass holes...
We just deal with it.

I'm sure those 40 million children would end up in perfect households, too. I'm sure none would be born into poverty, abusive families, or just flat out starve to death.

I'm sure some of those 40 million would've made the human race better off . . . but come on. Does he really think our foster care/adoption/etc systems could've actually SUPPORTED that many additional human beings without terrible consequences?

I have to go with FEMA on this one.

But FTR--that video was absolute gold. I want that guy's bumper sticker:

Draft College Republicans

hahaha Dude, that's a classic ten out of ten on the unintentional comedy scale.

I think the College Republicans deserve a asshole fuckface reward too. Also, I hope the FTR mittens are magical and automatically teleport you to Iraq.

"Excuse me.."

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm doing interpretive dance. Please don't touch me."

That is complete and total BULLSHIT!!!
I work in construction in south Florida, and yes we use undocumented workers, at least that's my assumption, I'm not the INS, so I didn't ask them for papers. Yes, they do get paid less than I do. Yes we both do exactly the same work, except I have to do all the driving. No, I could not live on what they pay them, I have a family that lives here. The live about 10 to a house. I'm not making any arguments either way about the rightness or wrongness of any of these conditions, that's not my point. Ya wanna know why we use these workers, instead of Americans? Because everybody else here does and if we didn't, we'd be out of business. We can't afford to charge people what they should be charged because everyone is using cheap labor. My boss hates it. He'd rather us be using an all American work force and be paying us much better, but that's impossible in the market we're in. It's called economics, an it sucks. So don't give me that bullshit line, that Americans are "to proud" to do the work. Tell ME that when I come home from a 12 hr day in the tropical sun, all covered in concrete! I couldn't possibly survive on what they make, and by no means do I lead an extravagant lifestyle, unless you count living in a 50 year old house that needs badly to be renovated, using computers that I found in the trash and build up myself, and owning 2 very old beat up cars 'cause even though I work 50+ hours and my wife works 30+ we cant possibly afford to buy another one, as extravagant. Maybe you're too proud to get your hands dirty, but there are a lot of us who aren't. So take that bourgeois elitist crap back to the Ron Paul meeting.

think about it! that last u tube was so funny it brought me to tears... then i couldn't stop crying. they guys in that utube are pretty stupid but the girls are dumb as shit.

I'm sure the innocent guy he murdered will have a tough time finding a job too. Oh, wait....

That clarification should also help feed his 11 children.

He was a good marine who served 3 tours and was awarded a purple heart.Then he followed orders from a fucked up squad leader. Now everyone in that squad is fucked for not disobeying that order.

Not an excuse

I figured alpha22 and his gin-soaked rape of the English language were a shoo-in for an AFie!

That just antagonizing now.

They should have disobeyed the order from their squad leader to kill an innocent man and they didn't. Now all of them have to pay the price.Wait and see what they do to the squad leader. He is directly at fault for ordering them to do what they did.

you're quite the debater