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Gerry_D

Gerry_D

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

JUL 16, 2007 02:33 PM


A pair of chaotic evil gamers named Michael and Iana Straw have plead guilty to child neglect after failing to stop playing Dungeons & Dragons Online to feed their two young children.


The children of Michael and Iana Straw, a boy age 22 months and a girl age 11 months, were severely malnourished and near death last month when doctors saw them after social workers took them to a hospital, authorities said. Both children are doing well and gaining weight in foster care, prosecutor Kelli Ann Viloria told the Reno Gazette-Journal.


Now, I'm no DM but I would wager their actions will certainly result in an alignment change and or a loss of level or Paladin status. Oh, and jail. I find this an especially odd story because I've never heard of hardcore gamers that didn’t have a treasure hoard of delicious snacks within an arm's flop of the keyboard...


They had food, they just chose not to give it to their kids because they were too busy playing video games.


Oh, well that explains that.

I knew they had food though. The only remaining mystery is where did the pair get all the gold pieces come from to pay for the high speed internet?


Michael Straw is an unemployed cashier, and his wife worked for a temporary staffing agency doing warehouse work, according to court records. He received a $50,000 inheritance that he spent on computer equipment and a large plasma television, authorities said.


I guess somewhere in the orgy of spending and gaming there was some actual, real-life sexual contact becuase the two dumb asses rolled-up a couple of new human characters. Frankly, those two babies are off on a quest to a better place.

Why couldn’t it have been World of Warcraft? Or meth? Dungeons and Dragons needed this PR hit like a prismatic spray to the face.

Since Gary Gygax conjured up a turn-based role playing game and published it through his company, TSR his wonderful game has been called everything from satanic to brainwashing.

For now, their vile campaign is at an end. Ogres Michael and Iana, hand in your character sheets: your're done. You face the maximum banishment of a dozen years in one of Nevada's dungeons. The couple are imprisoned in a soul trap where inmates that harm children are preyed upon at every turn. Their two younglings are doing well and putting on weight in foster care.

Finally, some in the media will take this incident as an opportunity to beat up video games...but I have another axe to grind. I would like to point out that this could never have happened if they were playing D & D like God intended - with a pencil, character sheet, painted figurine, and bags of doritos and dice. There's just no way that you could assemble an entire campaign of such heartless souls that would play through the cries of hungry babies. That's why we pick up swords in the first place. To smite such evil.

Colinism

Colinism

Atlanta, GA
July 2005

JUL 16, 2007 02:39 PM

On the plus side maby Chick publications will write an updated anti DnD pamphlet addressing how many thousands of babies go hungry each year because of the satanic grip DnD has on their parents.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUL 16, 2007 02:41 PM

I had to double-check the names to make sure I don't know them. It sounded too familiar.

Colinism said:
On the plus side maby Chick publications will write an updated anti DnD pamphlet addressing how many thousands of babies go hungry each year because of the satanic grip DnD has on their parents.


There is no possible way that could be construed as a "plus."

Gerry_D said:
I would like to point out that this could never have happened if they were playing D & D like God intended - with a pencil, character sheet, painted figurine, and bags of doritos and dice. There's just no way that you could assemble an entire campaign of such heartless souls that would play through the cries of hungry babies. That's why we pick up swords in the first place. To smite such evil.


Quite so.

WHO WILL JOIN ME IN THIS NOBLE CRUSADE?!?

Metaverse

Metaverse

USA
March 2005

JUL 16, 2007 02:47 PM

This is nothing new. There have been stories for years about stupid people like this. Many stories come out of Taiwan, Korea and China. One guy died after playing for 37 hours straight without getting up for anything at all. Ended up with blood clots in his legs that eventually killed him.

emotedcreations

emotedcreations

Germany
July 2006

JUL 16, 2007 02:48 PM

For Fuck's sake...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
And that image made me hungry for chicken...damn you.

Kleio

Kleio

Winona, MN
January 2006

JUL 16, 2007 02:54 PM

Gerry_D said:
I would like to point out that this could never have happened if they were playing D & D like God intended - with a pencil, character sheet, painted figurine, and bags of doritos and dice. There's just no way that you could assemble an entire campaign of such heartless souls that would play through the cries of hungry babies. That's why we pick up swords in the first place. To smite such evil.



While I agree that it is amazingly hard to ignore a couple of rugrats while gaming, I beg to differ on your stance as to why we pick up swords in the first place.

I do it to be as twistedly evil as possible. Earlier this week, for instance, my group showed a couple of 8-year-old girls a ghost so that they magically aged 10 years, then sold them to a bunch of sailors for 150gp apiece.

But really. MMOs are insane. I love gaming, but I think MMOs are what really take the devoted gamers over the edge.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUL 16, 2007 03:05 PM

my favorite geek child abuse still has to be the couple who taught their kid only klingon.

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

JUL 16, 2007 03:09 PM

Kleio said:
a couple of 8-year-old girls


aka this guy

Gerry_D

Gerry_D

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

JUL 16, 2007 03:09 PM

yourfashionwar said:
my favorite geek child abuse still has to be the couple who taught their kid only klingon.



without question - they're in the hall of shame. or fame.

they're the tops (bottom)

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 16, 2007 03:11 PM

yourfashionwar said:
my favorite geek child abuse still has to be the couple who taught their kid only klingon.



You're confusing abuse with preparation for the future.

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

JUL 16, 2007 03:12 PM

sad story, wonderful article title

aldoushuxley

aldoushuxley

USA
November 2005

JUL 16, 2007 03:12 PM

I have met people like this, I had several friends like this and it is really sad. Most people can play video games and not get this attached but some people lose sight of reality and everything around them crashes down as they stare in rapt fascination at the colorful pixel graphics swarming across their computer monitor. My friends got their kids taken away as well, it sucked for them but it also woke them up. See I believe that video game addiction is just as bad as a chemical substance. I used to be an addict but I went through a harsh rehabilitation process, I won't touch video games any more unless I am playing with my friends too. I hope this wakes these folks up, because if not well, it will be a sad sad life for them.

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

JUL 16, 2007 03:20 PM

True story.

When I was in the sixth grade I got a bad report card and my mom took all my D&D stuff in a wheel barrow to the front yard, put it in a giant pile, BURNED it in front of the whole neighborhood and I was never allowed to play D&D again.

tongue

Gerry_D

Gerry_D

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

JUL 16, 2007 03:26 PM

chainlink said:
True story.

When I was in the sixth grade I got a bad report card and my mom took all my D&D stuff in a wheel barrow to the front yard, put it in a giant pile, BURNED it in front of the whole neighborhood and I was never allowed to play D&D again.

tongue



you sould have cast water, right?

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

JUL 16, 2007 03:48 PM

This is sad.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 16, 2007 03:49 PM

...their actions will certainly result in an alignment change and or a loss of level or Paladin status. Oh, and jail.



Hahaha, awesome, Gerry.

Nice nod to "Gauntlet" as well...


RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUL 16, 2007 03:51 PM

FearTheReaper said:

yourfashionwar said:
my favorite geek child abuse still has to be the couple who taught their kid only klingon.



You're confusing abuse with preparation for the future.



going by the trek universe timeline, we don't make contact with the klingons until roughly 2218, so the kid is still SOL.

ThisIsWhoWeAre

ThisIsWhoWeAre

Oakland, CA
July 2004

JUL 16, 2007 04:04 PM

DownNeck

DownNeck

Jersey City, NJ
March 2006

JUL 16, 2007 04:37 PM

Colinism said:
On the plus side maby Chick publications will write an updated anti DnD pamphlet addressing how many thousands of babies go hungry each year because of the satanic grip DnD has on their parents.



i expect we'll have a rant from bitch_phd to this effect within the hour

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUL 16, 2007 04:42 PM

Kleio said:

Gerry_D said:
I would like to point out that this could never have happened if they were playing D & D like God intended - with a pencil, character sheet, painted figurine, and bags of doritos and dice. There's just no way that you could assemble an entire campaign of such heartless souls that would play through the cries of hungry babies. That's why we pick up swords in the first place. To smite such evil.


While I agree that it is amazingly hard to ignore a couple of rugrats while gaming, I beg to differ on your stance as to why we pick up swords in the first place.

I do it to be as twistedly evil as possible. Earlier this week, for instance, my group showed a couple of 8-year-old girls a ghost so that they magically aged 10 years, then sold them to a bunch of sailors for 150gp apiece.

But really. MMOs are insane. I love gaming, but I think MMOs are what really take the devoted gamers over the edge.


I want you now more than ever.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 16, 2007 04:47 PM

yourfashionwar said:

FearTheReaper said:

yourfashionwar said:
my favorite geek child abuse still has to be the couple who taught their kid only klingon.



You're confusing abuse with preparation for the future.



going by the trek universe timeline, we don't make contact with the klingons until roughly 2218, so the kid is still SOL.



Okay, but their kid is going to have kids, right? It's called passing on knowledge.

Graven

Graven

Reading, MN
March 2003

JUL 16, 2007 04:50 PM

This is fucked up, that you would make jokes.

I understand you're mocking the parents, but two children nearly fucking died.

910dohead

910dohead

Palm Springs, CA
September 2002

JUL 16, 2007 04:59 PM

DownNeck said:

Colinism said:
On the plus side maby Chick publications will write an updated anti DnD pamphlet addressing how many thousands of babies go hungry each year because of the satanic grip DnD has on their parents.



i expect we'll have a rant from bitch_phd to this effect within the hour



Down right comedy.

(Obviously, not regarding the poor kids though...)

KMFCM

KMFCM

Peekskill, NY
September 2002

JUL 16, 2007 05:04 PM


ROLL THE DICE TO SEE IF I'M GETTING DRUNK!!

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

JUL 16, 2007 05:11 PM

Graven said:
This is fucked up, that you would make jokes.

I understand you're mocking the parents, but two children nearly fucking died.


You just rolled a saving throw for "funny"

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