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johnnyfu

johnnyfu

Hartford, CT
March 2003

JUN 27, 2007 01:40 PM



Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is a humorless dick who thinks non-sequiturs aren’t constitutionally protected. On Monday, Roberts led a 5-4 Supreme court decision about a banner reading “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” created and displayed by Alaskan high school senior Joseph Frederick as a prank during the 2002 Olympic torch passing ceremony. Roberts wrote the decision, which ruled that the banner wasn’t protected by the First Amendment.

There’s certainly a lot of justified worry about how this ruling affects student free speech – Frederick wasn't even on school property when he held the sign, but was still suspended from school. Just as troubling is how Frederick’s repeated explanation that the slogan was a harmless joke was rejected by the court.

The message on Frederick's banner is cryptic," Roberts said. "But Principal Morse thought the banner would be interpreted by those viewing it as promoting illegal drug use and that interpretation is plainly a reasonable one.


But it's not plainly reasonable to interpret “bong hits 4 Jesus” as a promotion of illegal drug use. It’s a profound misunderstanding of how jokes work. The statement isn’t pro-bong hits or even pro-Jesus. It’s pro-nonsense.

Bong hits, for the purpose of the slogan, aren’t delicious mouthfuls of marijuana smoke slightly cooled by water or other liquids, but are things that are funny when followed by the phrase “4 Jesus.” Bong hits aren’t commonly associated with Jesus or Christianity, and therefore when you associate the two, it’s funny. There are other non Jesus-y things that could have taken the place of bong hits, and it isn’t an obscenity or a violent image, unlike other things that could have plugged that hole, like assfucking 4 Jesus or carjacking 4 Jesus.

The ruling only covers the ability of school administrators to govern student speech. However, the implications of the ruling could be vast. There are a lot of cryptic statements that could be interpreted as pro-drug messages – Afroman's probably quaking in his boots.

Heathen_Dave

Heathen_Dave

Birmingham, AL
July 2005

JUN 27, 2007 04:09 PM

Hot Carls 4 Jesus

Edit: I still don't get why the kid was suspended when not even at school.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUN 27, 2007 04:17 PM

carjacking 4 jesus would totally have been funnier.

starblood

starblood

Horsham, PA
March 2006

JUN 27, 2007 04:19 PM

This whole incident is so beyond irrelevant I can't believe it's even in the news. The kid was disruptive at a school-related event and received a mild punishment. Taking that to court was both a joke and a waste of its time.

ogichida30

ogichida30

Concord, CA
September 2004

JUN 27, 2007 04:25 PM

To quote the great Dead Milkmen "Your just a right wing pigeon from outer space"

klopnuts

klopnuts

Beaverdam, OH
January 2007

JUN 27, 2007 04:49 PM

starblood said:
This whole incident is so beyond irrelevant I can't believe it's even in the news. The kid was disruptive at a school-related event and received a mild punishment. Taking that to court was both a joke and a waste of its time.



It doesnt matter how mild the punishment. What matters is the voilation to the kids first ammendment.

GuiltShow

GuiltShow

Riverside, CA
May 2005

JUN 27, 2007 04:49 PM

starblood said:
This whole incident is so beyond irrelevant I can't believe it's even in the news. The kid was disruptive at a school-related event and received a mild punishment. Taking that to court was both a joke and a waste of its time.



Given that he was off of school grounds is more the stupid thing. But the stupidest thing is that the Supreme Court even agreed to hear the case in the first place.

TheFox

TheFox

Durham, NC
February 2006

JUN 27, 2007 04:49 PM

Technically, if he was participating in a school function, he can be suspended, even if that that function isn't on school property. It was in my student code of conduct in high school.

I don't agree that students don't have a right to free speech, though.

Also, since when is promoting illegal things illegal? Last I checked, saying "smoking weed is awesome" was not illegal, just having weed in your possession. Am I wrong?

TheFox

TheFox

Durham, NC
February 2006

JUN 27, 2007 04:51 PM

klopnuts said:

starblood said:
This whole incident is so beyond irrelevant I can't believe it's even in the news. The kid was disruptive at a school-related event and received a mild punishment. Taking that to court was both a joke and a waste of its time.



It doesnt matter how mild the punishment. What matters is the voilation to the kids first ammendment.



Kids have been fighting for their right to free speech for years (decades?)... in some ways, I can see a school's side of trying to keep things orderly... on the other, I don't think it's right to say "everyone has rights... except students."

MetaTag

MetaTag

United Kingdom
September 2002

JUN 27, 2007 04:56 PM

Free speach? Try driving a pick up truck through Alabama with "Man Love Rules" painted on the side in pink letters and see what happens!

wheezy_e

wheezy_e

Boulder City, NV
April 2004

JUN 27, 2007 04:57 PM


Bong hits aren't commonly associated with Jesus or Christianity



Sandals, beard, long hair, wandering around in the wilderness... Are people ever going to wake up to the obvious?

MrGreen

MrGreen

San Jose, CA
February 2003

JUN 27, 2007 05:01 PM

Bong Hits 4 Me
EL SUICIDO LOCO

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

JUN 27, 2007 05:17 PM

This is confusing. How can Bong Hits 4 Jesus be interpreted as encouraging Marijuana use even if it is not a joke?
I am mulling this over. Suppose for a moment that the banner is not a joke. Suppose that the person who wrote the banner is insane and is actually offering Bong Hits to Jesus (the dead religious icon)? How does this in any way encourage drug usage?

Are the people going to this school so completely logic impaired that when seeing a banner that says Bong Hits 4 Jesus, they interpret it to mean: "He is offering Jesus bong hits, hence I must smoke pot?"

What if the banner had said crucification 4 Jesus, would that encourage these students to crucify themselves?

Something tells me they're Christians and they're offended and they're liars. Why not just say look kiddy, we're Christians and you stop making fun of our dude. Oh wait, what was that separation of Church and State?
This ruling is a very bad thing.

The ruling is more ridiculous than the sign.

endlessly

endlessly

Fort Wainwright, AK
June 2006

JUN 27, 2007 05:19 PM

MetaTag said:
Free speach? Try driving a pick up truck through Alabama with "Man Love Rules" painted on the side in pink letters and see what happens!



Amazing!!!!!!!!!

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

JUN 27, 2007 05:23 PM

MetaTag said:
Free speach? Try driving a pick up truck through Alabama with "Man Love Rules" painted on the side in pink letters and see what happens!



AHHHHH.....America the beautiful!

Your from the United Kingdom, please don't let that be your example of what every city in the United States is like.....

HAL9000

HAL9000

Milwaukee, WI
November 2003

JUN 27, 2007 05:25 PM



I wonder if this decision will only effect High School Students, or if it will infringe on the rights of college students as well.

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

JUN 27, 2007 05:37 PM

HAL9000 said:


I wonder if this decision will only effect High School Students, or if it will infringe on the rights of college students as well.



As long as the Supreme Court remains conservative, the question should be, how long until this effects us all?

Jace

Jace

San Francisco, CA
February 2004

JUN 27, 2007 05:42 PM

This says an awful lot about just how big a stigma is attached to illegal drugs in this country (and others), and marijuana in particular.

Anyone recall the story of a student in Canada who was suspended and not allowed to take his finals (which, in effect, would fail him) for simply talking to his classmates about how pot might not be as dangerous and evil as some might paint it out to be? (Click here)

If the kid had been holding up a sign that said "beer bongs 4 jesus" or "binge drinking 4 jesus" or "get ripped 4 jesus" or "anal sex 4 jesus" or "gang rape 4 jesus" or "premeditated murder 4 jesus" I don't think they reaction would have been as bad. People freak the fuck out if you mention marijuana. It's painted as this evil, horrible, life destroying thing... and it might be... but talking about it shouldn't be a crime. Talking about anything shouldn't be a crime. If I said "I'm going to kill the President," then maybe I'd be okay with someone tackling me and stepping all over my right to free speech. That's cool. But making a joke like this shouldn't amount to anything except someone saying, "shut up you stupid stoner idiot."

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

JUN 27, 2007 05:43 PM

Jace said:
This says an awful lot about just how big a stigma is attached to illegal drugs in this country (and others), and marijuana in particular.

Anyone recall the story of a student in Canada who was suspended and not allowed to take his finals (which, in effect, would fail him) for simply talking to his classmates about how pot might not be as dangerous and evil as some might paint it out to be? (Click here)

If the kid had been holding up a sign that said "beer bongs 4 jesus" or "binge drinking 4 jesus" or "get ripped 4 jesus" or "anal sex 4 jesus" or "gang rape 4 jesus" or "premeditated murder 4 jesus" I don't think they reaction would have been as bad. People freak the fuck out if you mention marijuana. It's painted as this evil, horrible, life destroying thing... and it might be... but talking about it shouldn't be a crime. Talking about anything shouldn't be a crime. If I said "I'm going to kill the President," then maybe I'd be okay with someone tackling me and stepping all over my right to free speech. That's cool. But making a joke like this shouldn't amount to anything except someone saying, "shut up you stupid stoner idiot."



I think it has very little to do with the drugs and more to do with the Jesus.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

JUN 27, 2007 05:52 PM

i have to agree with Joker.

If it said "Bong Hits 4 Kittens" it probably wouldn't even have made it as far as it did.

But once he used Jesus' name in vein, that's a sin in the catholic religion, and regardless of what you believe, the church and the state are not all that separated.

Bicycle_Samurai

Bicycle_Samurai

York, ON
September 2003

JUN 27, 2007 05:56 PM

It's not nonsense. I think the sign *is* promoting bong hits, *and* poking fun at the christian right.

But don't get me wrong. I don't think either of those things should be against the law.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

JUN 27, 2007 05:57 PM

What if Jesus saw that sign and started smoking weed? Would you hippies be laughing then? If our lord was stoned?? I weep for the future.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

JUN 27, 2007 06:10 PM

PointBlank said:
What if Jesus saw that sign and started smoking weed? Would you hippies be laughing then? If our lord was stoned?? I weep for the future.



Is this what you want to be doing when Jesus comes back? My momma used to always say that.....Is this what you want to be doing when Jesus comes back, holding a sign that says Bonghits 4 Jesus??????

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

JUN 27, 2007 06:18 PM

PointBlank said:
What if Jesus saw that sign and started smoking weed? Would you hippies be laughing then? If our lord was stoned?? I weep for the future.



Jesus was a hippie. Der.

guerillasphere

guerillasphere

San Francisco, CA
March 2006

JUN 27, 2007 06:18 PM

The statement isn't pro-bong hits or even pro-Jesus. It's pro-nonsense.


This is the best take I have seen on this 'issue' and couldn't agree more.

ogichida30 said:
To quote the great Dead Milkmen "Your just a right wing pigeon from outer space"


Also, this reminded me of one of my favorite pro-nonsense quotes from the Dead Milkmen (on Bitchin Camaro):
Joe - Uh, how you gonna get down to the shore?
Rod - Funny you should ask, I've got a car now.
Joe - Oh wow, how'd you get a car?
Rod - Oh my parents drove it up here from the Bahamas.

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