NEWS: Old People Should Not Use The Interweb

POLITICS: Old People Should Not Use The Interweb

Old people are using the interweb in a pathetic attempt to sway young folks into liking them. These old people are known as "presidential candidates" and the things they are putting up on U Tube are so lame and occasionally disturbing that I don't quite know what to do with myself.



A few of the candidates understand the power of this "series of tubes" that young people have come to love. The smart ones are prudent in what they put up on U Tube. Joe Biden, Rudy Giuliani and Barack Obama are three who seem to understand how to use the interwebs. But those candidates who don't get it have really come up with some bad shit.



Take John Edwards. His U Tube page is full of a lot of information and speeches to let you know where he stands. But right there in the middle of his campaign-approved videos is this tremendous turd.





What the fuck was that? What did it mean? And why did it happen? Why was Edwards' wife talking at the end? The only piece of information I walked away with is that political campaigns should not attempt comedy. Here's what happens when they do:





Ha ha. I laughed so hard that my ass almost came out of my face. Tancredo, you are a nut! I totally want to vote for you now.



It seems as if candidates do not know that when they put this crap up on the interweb, that it will live forever. Some of the videos have so little meaning that they are bewildering. Take Mike Gavel, the Democrats answer to crazy Ron Paul. He put this gem out yesterday. I dare you to tell me what is happening.





Wow. That should have been called "Two Minutes of Creepy." Creepy is not a great quality to get people to vote for you. His press secretary explained what was going on there.

Bad idea. You know what I don't look for in a presidential candidate? Shiitty symbolism.

Good luck with the campaign. And your paintings, hippy.



Chris Dodd also decided to go with the powerful message of silence. Here is a video that should be called "Pointless."





How could all the young kids who watch the U Tube not be into that? It is fucking mesmerizing because it's real life.



And check out Mitt Romney, he's almost human!





"It's fun being eight." It's also fun being a robot, I guess. Thank for making me feel weird, Mitt. My favorite Mitt video is this one where he tries to explain how he has switched positions on abortion. Rather than talk to camera, he used the old "fake phone call" method. It's great because you can see his beady little eyeballs reading the script while he babbles.







We've got a long road ahead and I'm sure many more videos coming.

i've also taken action to protect the sanctity of life...I worked to reinstate the death penalty.
awesome.

Holy shit. I saw that Mike Gravel video on The Daily Show. I thought it was a stunt by the show!

Also, Mitt "Double-Gitmo" Romney is the biggest tool of this whole race.

The Nixon-Kennedy debates' significance extended well beyond 1960. The use of television to transmit an image or idea instantly to millions soon made presidential campaigns more of a spectator sport -- leading to campaign concepts and phrases such as "catchy sound bites," the "likability" factor and mass marketing.

"I don't think it's overstating the fact that, on that date, politics and television changed forever," said Bruce DuMont, a nationally syndicated radio talk show host and president of the Museum of Broadcast Communications. "After that debate, it was not just what you said in a campaign that was important, but how you looked saying it."

--http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/09/24/jfk.nixon.debate/


Oh, Obama Girl, show me the way.

I really like Mitt Romney.

He reminds me how screwed up the whole campaign process is, and how many truly scary fucks there are out there looking for power.

#1: -Hi, I'm John Edwards.
-And I'm a PC

#2: Qpuiqacnapx!¿

#3: Brought to you by the same folks who made Mr. Plow's second Ad. And I demand that it be given the credit it deserves for it's intellectual content. This shall occur in 2057.

#4: Words are at this point unnecessary. The message is clear, if you look closely. Cookies, & coffee. And he doesn't choke.

#5: "I know now why you cry. But it is something I can never do"

#6 A fine mahoq to you all

Oh gods... myspace is already evil, don't corrupt youtube as well!

Ha! Whadya know? I really enjoyed that, FTR. Thanks for posting it.

These people need to give up on the presidential race and go to rest homes where senile bastards like them belong.

Damn, she's hot!

Gravel : Serial killer vibe there.

Re: Obama video- Music,Big Suckage...Girl, Rocks...totally.

There was a time when ball-point pens and pulp paper were the height of document technology. Today ain't it.

Learn to use a laptop, Chris.

I almost said that I wish Obama would do a sendoff of the old 1984esque Apple ad, completely forgetting that it already happened.

Mitt Romney deserves a slap just for his name. Honestly, is it short for Mitten?

Basic rule: if you can't spell 'Matt' you don't get to be president.

So, uh, let's not elect his parents?

It's all about the Deed Poll.
David Bowie's son managed to do it. If little Zowie Bowie can change his name, then so can Mitten. Yes.

The interweb is a series of tubes...don't you all know that?

Maybe there's a good reason for keeping TV air-time so expensive...

Wait, you still have plastic egg cartons in the US?

Way ahead of you!

The interwebs are for pr0n!

HA !

Well played Sir !

Wow, that Chris Dodd guy is just like me. He does work on the plane and I do work on the plane. Although... mine isn't a private jet... with leather seats... and the seat next to me is never empty... but other than that he's just like me! An everyman. I'm going to vote for him.

Hey, I would vote for George Dubya Romney if he admitted his son's name was actually short for Mitthew. Or Mittleworth the Third.