NEWS: Albania Needs to Get Out More

Nearing the end of an eight-day trip, Bush got a hero's reception in this desperately poor country, still struggling to recover from being cut off from the rest of the world for four decades under the harsh rule of dictator Enver Hoxha. Hoxha died in 1985, and Albania emerged from isolation in 1990 but still is one of Europe's most impoverished lands.

Cannons boomed salutes from mountains overlooking the capital. Huge banners proclaimed "Proud to be Partners," and billboards read "President Bush in Albania Making History."

At home, Bush's job approval rating stands at its all-time low. But here, Prime Minister Sali Berisha said Bush was Albania's "greatest and most distinguished guest we have ever had in all times."

Throngs of people grasped Bush's hands, arms and fingers on the streets of Fushe Kruje, a small town near the airport where he stopped to chat in a cafe with business owners. Unused to such adoring crowds in America, Bush reveled in the attention. He kissed women on the cheek, posed for pictures and signed autographs. Someone reached out and rubbed his gray hair.

"Bushie, Bushie," people shouted.

So eager is the country to accommodate Mr. Bush that Parliament unanimously approved a bill last month allowing “American forces to engage in any kind of operation, including the use of force, in order to provide security for the president.” One newspaper, reporting on the effusive mood, published a headline that read, “Please Occupy Us!”

Thousands of young Albanians have been named Bill or Hillary thanks to the Clinton administration’s role in rescuing ethnic Albanians from the Kosovo war. After the visit on Sunday, some people expect to see a rash of babies named George.

But here in Albania, which has not wavered in its unblinking support for American policies since the end of the cold war, Mr. Bush can do no wrong. While much of the world berates Mr. Bush for warmongering, unilateralism, trampling civil liberties and even turning a blind eye to torture, Albania still loves him without restraint.

Mr. Bush will be the first sitting American president to visit the country, and his arrival could not come on a more auspicious day: the eighth anniversary of the start of Serbian troop withdrawals from Kosovo and ratification by the United Nations Security Council of the American-brokered peace accord that ended the fighting. Mr. Bush is pushing the Security Council to approve a plan that would lead to qualified Kosovo independence.

Albanians are pouring into the capital from across the region. Hotel rooms are as scarce as anti-American feelings.

Albanians’ support for the war in Iraq is nearly unanimous, and any perceived failings of American foreign policy are studiously ignored. A two-day effort to find anyone of prominence who might offer some criticism of the United States turned up just one name, and that person was out of the country.

The country was among the first American allies to support Washington’s refusal to submit to the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court. It was one of the first countries to send troops to Afghanistan and one of the first to join the forces in Iraq. It has soldiers in both places.

“They will continue to be deployed as long as the Americans are there,” Albania’s president, Alfred Moisiu, said proudly in an interview.

Most recently, the country has quietly taken several former detainees from the base at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, off the Bush administration’s hands when sending them to their home countries was out of the question. There are eight so far, and Mr. Moisiu said he is open to accepting more.

Subrosa said:
Ooookay. The last time someone told me to "Please Occupy" them, I ended up needing a restraining order and a shot of penicillin. I'm just saying, it's kind of creepy.

Untimely said:
But limitlessly uncouth and ignorant, Bush is subject to ridicule and pranks. Even Spain, who used to trade baseball cards wth him, seems a little embarrassed to sit next to him. Bush can no longer stand it, so he chooses to go sit at the table with poor old Albania and Bulgaria. Albania is wearing crutches and a device which keeps him from chewing his fingernails, and Bulgaria keeps falling asleep trying to open his 'special' lunch. Sometimes Bush likes to buy their friendship with an ice cream bar or extra fruit cup..

Untimely said:
But limitlessly uncouth and ignorant, Bush is subject to ridicule and pranks. Even Spain, who used to trade baseball cards wth him, seems a little embarrassed to sit next to him. Bush can no longer stand it, so he chooses to go sit at the table with poor old Albania and Bulgaria. Albania is wearing crutches and a device which keeps him from chewing his fingernails, and Bulgaria keeps falling asleep trying to open his 'special' lunch. Sometimes Bush likes to buy their friendship with an ice cream bar or extra fruit cup..

publicAnemone said:
George Bush II, King of Albania. Now that seems like a good fit.

Wendy said:

I've been all over Europe. I did get some strange looks, yes, because I happen to have a lot of tattoos, but no one treated me with disrespect because I came from America. It puzzles me when people have this opinion. People told me that I should pretend I was from Canada if I wanted to make any friends in my travels. I guess I only visited the "American friendly" parts of Europe. or something.

Wendy said:

I've been all over Europe. I did get some strange looks, yes, because I happen to have a lot of tattoos, but no one treated me with disrespect because I came from America. It puzzles me when people have this opinion. People told me that I should pretend I was from Canada if I wanted to make any friends in my travels. I guess I only visited the "American friendly" parts of Europe. or something.

Zarth said:

Well, it certainly can't be because foreigners are capable of distinguishing between Americans as individuals, let alone distinguishing between Americans and the policies of the American government.

I mean, if they were that smart, then why are we the world's only remaining superpower?

That's right, I said it. Eat that, Eurolosers!

Zarth said:

Well, it certainly can't be because foreigners are capable of distinguishing between Americans as individuals, let alone distinguishing between Americans and the policies of the American government.

I mean, if they were that smart, then why are we the world's only remaining superpower?

That's right, I said it. Eat that, Eurolosers!

mingol said:

Try visiting Asia.

brett54 said:

So as for your great Superpower, a bunch of half trained nutters, armed with carton cutters, hijacked 4 aeroplanes and ..... you know what happened.
!

Zarth said:

Well, it certainly can't be because foreigners are capable of distinguishing between Americans as individuals, let alone distinguishing between Americans and the policies of the American government.

I mean, if they were that smart, then why are we the world's only remaining superpower?

That's right, I said it. Eat that, Eurolosers!

formerviking said:
Can't he just stay where he is , please ?

SockPuppet said:

M hm. You sure about that "we"? Last I heard, Zarth was some sort of unemployable drama queen, or other. Everybody knows those sorts of people get on better in Yoooorp.

Untimely said:
I want to thank Bush for allowing me to make friends all over the world, despite my atrocious linguistic skills and offensive body odor.

By simply memorizing a few local phrases like "Bush is bad" or "I never voted for Bush" or "I think Bush is the devil" or "I came here to get away from Bush", I've enjoyed wonderful hospitality, warmth and friendship wherever I go.