NEWS: Wil Wheaton's Geek in Review: The Damn Parents Today

GEEK: Wil Wheaton's Geek in Review: The Damn Parents Today

Just before the end of Spring break a few weeks ago, my wife and I took our kids camping for a few days. I'm not the biggest fan of camping, but we've done this since we were dating, because it's an inexpensive way to get away from the real world and all its responsibilities, and force me to get offline for more than a few hours at a time (I'm not the only technophile who gets the shakes after ninety luddite minutes, am I?)

This year, rather than some sort of rustic camping experience on a secluded beach or high up in the mountains, we did some car camping down in Chula Vista, at this campground we used to take the kids to when they were really little. With our oldest heading off to college in a few months, I think it was as much about the nostalgia of those simple days as it was about the convenience of easily-accessible showers and a camp store, but if we were expecting anything like what we saw ten years ago, we didn't find it.

First of all, the campground has WiFi. Wait. What? WiFi? In a campground? Yes, JOSHUA, there is WiFi, and you can play Global Thermonuclear War from the comfort of your own tent. It was hard to believe, but I saw just as many guys sitting at a picnic table playing World of Warcraft as I saw people reading books in the shade of a tree.

There have always been RVs with television antennas, but nearly all the ones I saw this year had portable satellite dishes, so their owners wouldn't miss a single moment of CNBC or the TV Guide channel while they were away from home.

Isn't the whole point of camping to get away from these things? I thought so, but I'm probably out of touch, and the people who choose a well-developed, freeway-close campground probably aren't looking for the most rustic experience in the world, which is entirely reasonable, I think.

However, I did see something in this campground that really grinds my gears. While I played Frisbee with my kids, a bunch of other kids riding bikes around us, I saw one child, probably 7 or 8 years old, sitting outside at a picnic table, playing a gaming console. This kid was glued to his button mashing, oblivious to everything going on around him. His parents brought him camping, where he was surrounded by other kids his age who were all playing together, and there he was, glued to the PS2.

What. The. Fuck.

Now don't get me wrong: I love gaming. I love technology. In fact, I almost wrote a column this week all about the majesty of handeld games in the 70s and 80s (Merlin and Mattel D&D FTW!) and when I was younger, I took my Mattel Football and then Gameboy just about everywhere with me, but my parents gave me limits, (I didn't miss Old Faithful erupting because I was playing Tetris, for example) and they certainly never brought our Atari 2600 with us on a vacation.

I've been ruminating on this for some time, but I've recently concluded that there is, in fact, an entire generation of parents, about my age or just a little older, who are substituting technology for parenting. As a result, there's an entire generation of children who are overstimulated and undersocialized, and in some cases heavily medicated, because their damn parents would rather distract them with a DVD or video game than, you know, interact with them.

Is this the new way we're supposed to raise emotionally healthy and well adjusted kids? I must have missed a memo, because these people are everywhere.

Next time you're in the freeway and you see one of those obnoxious SUVs with the fucking little family sticker on the back window (you know, the one that has the adorable little stick figures of mom, dad, their seven kids and the dog) take a look as you pass them. In four out of five cases, the seven kids are all watching a DVD. On the way to the store. Because god forbid they have ten minutes in a row where they're not watching Dora or The Wiggles.

In restaurants, it's all too common to see parents completely ignoring their kid while he plays a PSP or Nintendo DS, and I've recently seen kids watching an ultra-portable DVD player while they drink Coke after Coke as mom talks on the cell phone, oblivious to everyone around her – including her child.

There's a car commercial running right now that is an unintentionally powerful and disturbing commentary on how many people in this generation of parents are raising their kids. It starts in a school lunch room, filled with kids who are jumping and running around, throwing food, and generally raging out of control. A teacher tries to get them to settle down, and is ignored, so he flips down a little display, like you'd see in a car-based DVD player, and the entire room instantly turns into slackjawed, television watching zombies. What's the message here? "If you can't get your kids to listen to you, don't worry, all it takes is a little DVD action to do it for you, so you can get back to the peace and quiet you inexplicably thought you'd enjoy when you had seven fucking kids."

I know this basic phenomenon is nothing new. As long as television has existed, parents have sat their kids in front of it while they did other things, but the current portability of media, and the complexity and depth of handheld video games, is leading to a generation of kids who are so used to its constant presence, when it's taken away, they just don't know what to do with themselves -- and neither do their parents. If you've ever seen a kid running around a grocery store like a ferret on crystal meth, while their hapless parent stands by and avoids eye contact with other shoppers, you know what I mean.

When this generation of kids, who have never learned how to sit still or entertain themselves for more than a few minutes at a time, grow up and meet the creepy home schooled kids whose parents have substituted mythology for science and history, the shit is really going to hit the fan.

When that day comes, though, I have a plan: I'll just carry a portable DVD player with me at all times. If any of them tries to give me shit when I'm collecting my social security check, a little Dora should transform them from annoying Customer Service Jackass into helpful Customer Service Zombie in a matter of seconds.

Wil Wheaton is totally winning this contest he's in with Rob Corddry.

this is frightening.
i get twitchy when i'm anywhere without running water or wifi for too long myself, but that's more about my aversion to bugs, dirt and a mounting email inbox than anything else.

my parents were of the "video games will rot your brain" school, so the only time i played them really before high school (when i wasn't even interested) was at a friend's house or an arcade. most of the games i played with my sister or my friends as a young child could be played just about anywhere, with little to no equipment because all we needed were our imaginations.

i had toys and games and cable television as a kid, so it's not like i grew up in a fucking cave, but my parents were very good about setting limits and i think i'm much better off for it.

i don't even want to think about a generation of kids who are so media-saturated they can't enjoy playing alone or with just each other.

Balance is hard. Lazy is easy.


Good article, Will.

Too true Will!

That's my new motto. Well said.

It'll come around and bite us in the ass soon enough.


ZOOTV was right.

I love this article.

I am a TV-loving, Xbox-obsessed, early adopter gadget lady, and yet I am really disturbed by those DVD players in cars and have been for a long time. WTF? Really? What about talking, parents? Or car games? I know "Detroit to Tokyo" isn't the height of entertainment, but at least it forces one (vaguely) to use two or three brain cells. Right?

I wasn't allowed to watch TV during the week as a kid, and though it might have made me slightly less cool in 7th grade, I'm glad my parents set those limits.

Of course, playing D&D every week might have ALSO made me slightly less cool in 7th grade (and beyond), but despite conservative parents freaking out over the Satanistic influences that RPGs might have on their kids, it was SOCIAL. It was a group activity. It didn't involve alcohol or drugs or a TV. Just your imagination! ::cue exciting "imagination!" music::

And, though this study is probably bullshit, it just *seems* possible, doesn't it?:

Television might cause autism

BWAHAHAHA

"ferret on crystal meth"
best line EVER

This article should be required reading for EVERYONE considering having kids. Excellent article.

i am not at all looking forward to a lot of these little brats growing up.
there are exceptions to this new parenting trend but they are few
and far between. that movie "idiocracy" is our future

spoken like a true dad, Wil. A dad that loves his kids and wishes to instill *shock* values in them.

Wil - as usual, great piece!

Anyway, I have to admit, I have a DVD player in my car. But before you yell at me, I don't use it to watch DVDs, I listen to DVD commentary like one would talk radio. (I'm kind of addicted to DVD commentary.) In fact, it's a lot better than most talk radio I can think of. So you might say that I listen to movies while I drive.

So shoot me.
Wait... uh.
Um, actually, please don't shoot me.

P.S. I loathe camping, so you are a cool dad.

Along those lines . The folks across the street from us are a little older , probably 50's - 60's . They have a daughter who appears has 3 kids , & lives with them . Every afternoon , the kids are out playing in the front yard with NO ONE watching them . I emphasize this because if you add all three kids age up , it may equal 7 , maybe . These kids are tiny . Now first , why are they in the front yard , not out back where they can't run out into the street playing chicken with the cars ? Second , how can you let kids this small play alone out side ? How fucking lazy can you get ? I mean , they actually might be better off inside being brainwashed by either the TV or games . Gah !!

Unfortunately I'm a product of the Game Boy generation and spent many family vacations alternating between playing video games and fighting off car sickness. I wouldn't have seen the Grand Canyon unless my parents forced me to put down the toys (still regretting that one), and I've noticed that whenever I'm in a bar or a restaurant and there's a TV on, I can't not watch it. I don't want to watch it, and I definitely don't care about whatever sporting event is on, and yet I find myself drawn to it. It pisses me off and I'm trying to fight it, but it's not easy.

Good article, btw. As usual.

Good article. Yep, we have the dvd player in the car, but honestly its hardly ever on. Now on the 2 hour ride to Grandmas with the screaming 18 mo old and the 3 year old asking if we are there yet 400x and complaining about Bon Jovi playing on the cd player (New Jersey of course) then....the thing does come in handy for sanity's sake. AC DC usually keeps them busy for a little while longer....

As for the gaming...its outta control. My nephew is like a little zombie when he is playing. I came over to give him his birthday present and he didnt even put down the remote to take the card....

sigh. in case you haven't noticed, most bad parents were raised by tv themselves.

sex & the city = self absorbed single moms

maybe you all need to slow the fuck down. why are you always in a rush? i hate sunday drivers too but i'm not usually in a hurry because i leave on time.

dvd players in cars are cool when you're driving for more than 3 hours.
gameboys at weddings are not.


has anyone noticed how maybe women arent "sexually oppressed" in modern cartoons (cinderella vs shrek) but the language has certainly lowered it's standards?
(bafoon vs jerk/moron/stupid)

i'd rather a thin waisted woman tell me how not to get deceived and how to be respectful than to be taught how to act like an ape.

ps. instill shame and respect and ETIQUETTE into your childs mind. and tell them to stop playing their meaningless music through their cellphones.

Great artical. As someone who went through a divorce because I didn't want kids yet because I wasn't ready to spend the years of undivided attention yet this sort of thing hits home. Why ahve a kid if you are not willing to take the time to be a parent. I wasn't ready so I said no. Not that fucking hard. Yet so many parents resort to this plug and play parenting idea that some one else should have done it all for them. Its uterly disgusting. Truly a wonderful artical.

it's funny, the older i get and the longer i spend away from the mountains, the more i miss it all. i can remember saying, from the comfort of a desk at one of my first dotcom jobs, that i could happily live out my life without ever being stuck in a tent on some god-forsaken mountainside ever again.

now here i am riding my bike, hanging out in the park, taking any excuse i can get to go out with friends and get away from the keyboard / screen / controller.

i can't imagine raising a kid without that vital experience of being a part of the world -- actually being able to run through the dirt in their bare feet and see things living around them.

I always brought a Gameboy or a game console with me whenever I had to go camping with my parents. Why? Because camping sucks.

Great article. I dont think there's anything wrong with raising kids with technology as long as there is moderation coming from the parents. But what do I know, my kid is only a year old. Nothing exceeds like excess.

Fucking A right. Self-entitlement is by far the ugliest American trait and all these people who feel that it's their duty to over-populate what's left of America with as many kids as they can squeeze out can...Oh fuck it, just fuck it...

I don't want kids. I don't want even the possibility of adding to the shitstorm of worthless people being popped out and set in front of the TV. I had something really insightful to say, but I've lost it. Damn you!

i know, i'm starting a "just because you have reproductive organs does NOT mean you should use them" campaign as soon as i achieve world domination. i'm also putting birth control in the water.

+ a bazillion for using the word Luddite.

Your like the 5th person I know who actually knows what it means. Ahh, the admiration is expanding