NEWS: Dude Turns Iraq Into His Personal Party

POLITICS: Dude Turns Iraq Into His Personal Party

It is no fun when you are shipped out to Iraq and have to deal with the constant danger and nightmarish surroundings. It is awful, but one Lieutenant-Colonel William Steele, was having none of it. They gave him lemons and the dude made a lemon meringue pie. Then he stuck his dick in it.

Steel was in charge of the detention facilities at Camp Cropper, near the Baghdad airport. The prison holds 3,000 detainees and was the forced home of Saddam days before his execution. Many high-ranking members of Saddam's regime are also held there.

Today it was revealed that Steele has been charged with nine offenses and is being held by the US military in Kuwait. Steele apparently was having a pretty good time while in charge of the prison. He is accused of having sex with a detainee’s daughter and “wrongfully and knowingly possessing pornographic videos.” Those are clearly the most important charges because they involve sex. He also did some other, more boring stuff.

Wrongfully providing special privileges to and maintain an inappropriate relationship with an interpreter.

Having unauthorized possession of classified information … and willfully retaining the same and failing to deliver it to the officer or employee of the United States.

Wrongfully and knowingly storing classified information in his living space.

Aiding the enemy by providing an unmonitored cellular phone to detainees.

Failure to obey an order.

Was derelict in the performance of his duties in that he willfully failed to fulfill his obligations as an approving authority in the expenditure of Field Ordering Officer funds.

Blah, blah, blah. Someone needs to dig deeper to find out the important parts of this story. What did the detainee’s daughter look like? Is she hot? Was there any anal? What were the pornos?

And the Army needs to take a look at itself. Didn’t anyone realize that guys named Steele fuck anything that moves? Just be thankful his name wasn’t Rod Steele because the nation of Iraq would have been fucked in half by now.

FearTheReaper will be appearing at the Irvine Improv April 28 & 29 (not the 27th as previously reported)

William "willy" Steele.

I bet a homosexual wouldn't have had sex with a detainee's daughter, maybe thats why they aren't aloud in?

that dude is bad-ass.

"cock of the walk, baby!"

How did i know this article was written by FTR?

I'll drink to that!

I hope this makes national news cuz that would just be fuckin awsome

Because it says

submitted by:fear the reaper?

This article was cooler when it belonged to DhD_Pillowpants.

FTR makes jon stewart sound like a 12 year old mangling quotes from the first wayne's world movie

not exactly

That must have been ironic.

Actually, FTR is a better writer than I am.

Are you aware of the penalty for contradicting me?

True.

Ms. Pillowpants has been posting a lot of fine work lately. Hardly at all composed of any fail . I think she should be an editor.

well, maybe. He did say this:

But yours was good, if not better.

ut oh.
you don't want to see him contradicted.

You don't scare me. *hides*

And I'm a give credit where credit is due type person. He's a better writer, although all of this ego stroking is very nice.

If you like lame, showboat-fairy sarcasm, I guess.

A horny GI has sex with a local woman. That's never happened before.

Wow. This guy's deep. What an incredible command of all the issues involved in this case.

It really depends on context. Like, if you were a hot chick - I'd prolly eat it up.

The first paragraph alone and the intro pic (is that a midget in a tutu? ) should be submitted for a Pulitzer...seriously, i spit out my funyons in laughter intermingled with a tiny bit of horror when i read it

That's the funniest shit you've ever written.

Thanks.

Lol, thats awesome.