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FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

APR 26, 2007 01:46 PM



It is no fun when you are shipped out to Iraq and have to deal with the constant danger and nightmarish surroundings. It is awful, but one Lieutenant-Colonel William Steele, was having none of it. They gave him lemons and the dude made a lemon meringue pie. Then he stuck his dick in it.

Steel was in charge of the detention facilities at Camp Cropper, near the Baghdad airport. The prison holds 3,000 detainees and was the forced home of Saddam days before his execution. Many high-ranking members of Saddam's regime are also held there.

Today it was revealed that Steele has been charged with nine offenses and is being held by the US military in Kuwait. Steele apparently was having a pretty good time while in charge of the prison. He is accused of having sex with a detainee’s daughter and “wrongfully and knowingly possessing pornographic videos.” Those are clearly the most important charges because they involve sex. He also did some other, more boring stuff.


    Wrongfully providing special privileges to and maintain an inappropriate relationship with an interpreter.

    Having unauthorized possession of classified information … and willfully retaining the same and failing to deliver it to the officer or employee of the United States.

    Wrongfully and knowingly storing classified information in his living space.

    Aiding the enemy by providing an unmonitored cellular phone to detainees.

    Failure to obey an order.

    Was derelict in the performance of his duties in that he willfully failed to fulfill his obligations as an approving authority in the expenditure of Field Ordering Officer funds.


Blah, blah, blah. Someone needs to dig deeper to find out the important parts of this story. What did the detainee’s daughter look like? Is she hot? Was there any anal? What were the pornos?

And the Army needs to take a look at itself. Didn’t anyone realize that guys named Steele fuck anything that moves? Just be thankful his name wasn’t Rod Steele because the nation of Iraq would have been fucked in half by now.

FearTheReaper will be appearing at the Irvine Improv April 28 & 29 (not the 27th as previously reported)

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

APR 26, 2007 06:07 PM

William "willy" Steele.

Johnny_Flapjacks

Johnny_Flapjacks

Williamsport, PA
September 2006

APR 26, 2007 06:08 PM

I bet a homosexual wouldn't have had sex with a detainee's daughter, maybe thats why they aren't aloud in?

theconservative

theconservative

Spring, TX
October 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:10 PM

that dude is bad-ass.

"cock of the walk, baby!"

kthxbi

kthxbi

Gulf Breeze, FL
November 2006

APR 26, 2007 06:10 PM

How did i know this article was written by FTR?

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:20 PM



Someone needs to dig deeper to find out the important parts of this story. What did the detainee's daughter look like? Is she hot? Was there any anal? What were the pornos?



I'll drink to that!

Spike508

Spike508

I'm lost
May 2006

APR 26, 2007 06:21 PM

I hope this makes national news cuz that would just be fuckin awsome

Cockzombie

Cockzombie

San Diego, CA
July 2006

APR 26, 2007 06:25 PM

reprezenn said:
How did i know this article was written by FTR?



Because it says

submitted by:fear the reaper?

confused

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:31 PM

This article was cooler when it belonged to DhD_Pillowpants.

futuramagoo

futuramagoo

Canada
March 2005

APR 26, 2007 06:35 PM

FTR makes jon stewart sound like a 12 year old mangling quotes from the first wayne's world movie

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

APR 26, 2007 06:36 PM

futuramagoo said:
FTR makes jon stewart sound like a 12 year old mangling quotes from the first wayne's world movie



confused

not exactly

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:38 PM

chainlink said:

futuramagoo said:
FTR makes jon stewart sound like a 12 year old mangling quotes from the first wayne's world movie


confused

not exactly


That must have been ironic.

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

APR 26, 2007 06:38 PM

Zarth said:
This article was cooler when it belonged to DhD_Pillowpants.



Actually, FTR is a better writer than I am.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:39 PM

DhD_PillowPants said:

Zarth said:
This article was cooler when it belonged to DhD_Pillowpants.


Actually, FTR is a better writer than I am.


Are you aware of the penalty for contradicting me?

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

APR 26, 2007 06:39 PM

Zarth said:
This article was cooler when it belonged to DhD_Pillowpants.



True.

Ms. Pillowpants has been posting a lot of fine work lately. Hardly at all composed of any fail . I think she should be an editor.

meatpieboy

meatpieboy

Korea, D.P.R.
June 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:40 PM

well, maybe. He did say this:

They gave him lemons and the dude made a lemon meringue pie. Then he stuck his dick in it.



But yours was good, if not better.

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

APR 26, 2007 06:41 PM

Zarth said:

DhD_PillowPants said:

Zarth said:
This article was cooler when it belonged to DhD_Pillowpants.


Actually, FTR is a better writer than I am.


Are you aware of the penalty for contradicting me?



ut oh.
you don't want to see him contradicted.

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

APR 26, 2007 06:43 PM

chainlink said:

Zarth said:

DhD_PillowPants said:

Zarth said:
This article was cooler when it belonged to DhD_Pillowpants.


Actually, FTR is a better writer than I am.


Are you aware of the penalty for contradicting me?



ut oh



You don't scare me. *hides*

And I'm a give credit where credit is due type person. He's a better writer, although all of this ego stroking is very nice. blush

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:48 PM

DhD_PillowPants said:
He's a better writer.


If you like lame, showboat-fairy sarcasm, I guess.

ink_slinger

ink_slinger

Edmonton, AB
October 2005

APR 26, 2007 06:49 PM

A horny GI has sex with a local woman. That's never happened before.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:54 PM

Wow. This guy's deep. What an incredible command of all the issues involved in this case.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
See? That's lame, showboat-fairy sarcasm. Who likes that?

SignalNoise

SignalNoise

USA
February 2004

APR 26, 2007 06:57 PM

Zarth said:
Wow. This guy's deep. What an incredible command of all the issues involved in this case.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
See? That's lame, showboat-fairy sarcasm. Who likes that?



It really depends on context. Like, if you were a hot chick - I'd prolly eat it up.

jaggy

jaggy

Austin, TX
October 2003

APR 26, 2007 07:01 PM

The first paragraph alone and the intro pic (is that a midget in a tutu? ) should be submitted for a Pulitzer...seriously, i spit out my funyons in laughter intermingled with a tiny bit of horror when i read it

geo35

geo35

Minneapolis, MN
January 2003

APR 26, 2007 07:07 PM

That's the funniest shit you've ever written.

Thanks.

sleepingsunshine

sleepingsunshine

Winston Salem, NC
December 2006

APR 26, 2007 07:22 PM


Blah, blah, blah. Someone needs to dig deeper to find out the important parts of this story. What did the detainee's daughter look like? Is she hot? Was there any anal? What were the pornos?



Lol, thats awesome.

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