Current Events

TOPICS:

Previous

PAGE: 

1 ... 

103 | 104 | 105

 ... 484

Next

FellOnEarth

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA
April 2006

APR 08, 2007 01:04 PM

PRESIDENT BUSH NEARLY INCINERATES HIMSELF:
Poetic Justice Narrowly Averted

Perhaps he never paid attention in Chemistry class, perhaps he's just an idiot. Whatever the case may be, something compelled the President to attempt plugging in a live extension cord into the fuel cylinder of a hydrogen-electric hybrid vehicle last week. If he had been successful in opening the fuel cap and had attempted the technical equivalent of putting a square peg into a round hole, he could have caused the hydrogen gas to instantly ignite and likely would have been engulfed in an expanding fireball of gas. Alas, Allen Mulallay, Ford Motor Company CEO, spared the President's life (and his own) by preventing the President from completing this very action. Allen had arranged a meeting with the President on the White House lawn to demonstrate the Hybrid vehicle, originally intending to have the President drive it.

...as Mulally followed Bush out to the car, he noticed someone had left the cord lying at the rear of the vehicle, near the fuel tank.

"I just thought, 'Oh my goodness!' So, I started walking faster, and the President walked faster and he got to the cord before I did."

Acting quickly, Allen grabbed the disasterous President's arm preventing him from bumbling his way into self immolation.

"I wanted the president to make sure he plugged into the electricity, not into the hydrogen This is all off the record, right?"

No Allen, I'm sorry it isn't. Sometime during his life, President Bush will have to learn to be responsible for his own actions without someone always being there to rescue him.

Bastardo

Bastardo

Boston, MA
January 2005

APR 08, 2007 01:31 PM

He grabbed the President's arm? And he wasn't shot?

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 08, 2007 01:32 PM

One more reason to hate Alan Mulally.

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

USA
December 2005

APR 08, 2007 01:42 PM

You know, I would never wish death on anyone, but that would have been the coolest end to a presidency in history.

Jennifer_

Jennifer_

Venezuela
November 2006

APR 08, 2007 02:52 PM

bald_eagle said:
If he had succeeded, it might have made the chain of command work more quickly. Cheney wouldn't have to go through W, anymore.


That could work out quite well. The world would get to be without W, and Cheney would have more free time to shoot people in their face. It would be a win/win situation.

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

APR 08, 2007 03:02 PM

BernardShakey said:
You know, I would never wish death on anyone, but that would have been the coolest end to a presidency in history.


It sure would've been one to tell the grandkids.

formerviking

formerviking

Denver, PA
May 2006

APR 08, 2007 03:25 PM

What , no burning Bush jokes ?

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

APR 08, 2007 03:32 PM

mingol said:

BernardShakey said:
You know, I would never wish death on anyone, but that would have been the coolest end to a presidency in history.


It sure would've been one to tell the grandkids.



and im sure cheney would have railroaded legislation through to make hybrids illegal.

formerviking

formerviking

Denver, PA
May 2006

APR 08, 2007 03:38 PM

For the life of me , I'll never understand how this guy hasn't gotten to the level of being a joke as Ford was for being clumsy . He can't ride a bike without falling & skinning himself up . He can't even eat a pretzel without almost choking to death . Now he can't plug a car in the proper way . Without even going into his political ass-hattedness , he's a walking disaster .

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 08, 2007 03:43 PM

formerviking said:
For the life of me , I'll never understand how this guy hasn't gotten to the level of being a joke as Ford was for being clumsy . He can't ride a bike without falling & skinning himself up . He can't even eat a pretzel without almost choking to death . Now he can't plug a car in the proper way . Without even going into his political ass-hattedness , he's a walking disaster .


Ford didn't have Rove and FOXNews running interference for him.

smithers_jones

smithers_jones

I'm lost
November 2003

APR 08, 2007 03:46 PM

Allen Mulallay needs to learn to mind his own fucking business and let nature do its job to thin the herd.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 08, 2007 04:00 PM

smithers_jones said:
Allen Mulallay needs to learn to mind his own fucking business and let nature do its job to thin the herd.


But Alan Mulally, being a good CEO, knows that thinning the herd is only for poor people.

Jennifer_

Jennifer_

Venezuela
November 2006

APR 08, 2007 04:04 PM

attn_ho said:
...im sure cheney would have railroaded legislation through to make hybrids illegal.


No, he wouldn't.
He'd be too busy shooting people in their face.

ZING. Or something.

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

USA
December 2005

APR 08, 2007 04:20 PM

smithers_jones said:
Allen Mulallay needs to learn to mind his own fucking business and let nature do its job to thin the herd.



Seriously, Bush could have earned himself a Darwin Award. He was robbed!!!

Also, I just love how Bush was literally running over to plug that thing in. Like he was rushing towards death or something. Mulallay should have just pulled a Willy Wonka and muttered "Stop, don't come back."