NEWS: DOA X-Treme 2: Tits Done Poorly

GEEK: DOA X-Treme 2: Tits Done Poorly

Apparently Tecmo's "Team Ninja" has decided to be honest with itself about the Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball series. With the release of the sequel, DOA X-Treme 2, the videogame developers have dropped the "Volleyball" portion of the title and with it any suggestion that the popular beach sport was ever focus of the game series. No, these games are, and always were, about breasts.

Unfortunately, despite having so simple a goal in mind, Team Ninja has failed so thoroughly that they might as well commit seppuku right now. These are not the breasts we know and love and, while a layman may mistake the absurd flailing of these bosoms for something approaching realism, anyone who spends as much time gazing at chests as the members of this site is sure to spot the obvious errors.

We are certified mammary experts, and we deem this venture a particularly floppy flop.



Pic Source

I wonder if there are any games with "tits done well".

what just the boobs are unrealistic?
it looks like they're all made of plastic and their movements don't even look right.
the strange barbie doll like feet that don't move bother me as well.

who knew boobs were completely filled with liquid though?

i'll still play it, regardless.

wtf... its like each breast has a mind of its own...its too distracting to be sexy when one goes up while the other goes down...

but holy pole dancing batman! schwing!

Theres also the magic hair that can move through any object, I guess it would be unfair to expect anybody to program anything that would react to those... things

hey, wtf is with Ayane and Kasumi being all friendly and shit? They're supposed to be mortal enemies! And the girl tossing the crab into the ocean LOL

and what's with the magic Sailor Moon-esque swirly sparkles that come and change the swimsuits?

this is why we invented video games, computers, and the internet

Wow, antigravity boobies. I keep worrying one of them will slap me in the eye. Ok, maybe worry isn't the right word.

Have you seen the DOA movie trailer yet? This game is the least of our worries. The actress playing Ayane doesn't even look Japanese

Hooraydiation. What a great name/moniker/handle/stroke of genius.

It's like Team Ninja has only heard rumors of what breasts in motion do, and the source of these rumors was a 13 year old boy with taped glasses and cheeto dust on his fingers. Seriously, were they not able to find one big breasted woman willing to do mocap for this game?

Wow, that was disturbing. I have to go look at some real boobs now.

By the way, anyone know what exactly the point of this game is?

if you watched the trailer... well... that's about it.

uhh, has doa ever done tits right?

OK so the bounce on the boobs needs to be turned way down and the hair looks like crap. But did you look at the way the fabric moved? That part was actually pretty impressive.

Is this a game or...

Fuck it, quit beating around the bush and make it a fucking porno game.

I have to ask - but has anyone EVER seen ANY game where the 'Boob Physics' were realistic? I mean, sure some are worse than others, but I'm 99% certain that its mainly due to the difference the "Boob Bounce' setting is set on with whatever modeling software the developers happen to be using. Team Ninja just likes putting it to the max, at least none of them look as silly as that chick from Ninja Gaiden.

My gourd, people. Picky, picky.

-TM

At least in the standard DOA, they didn't bounce in such frighteningly opposite directions...

I'm not sure I could argue with that statement even if I wanted to.

I honestly think its a case of the bad porno movie director syndrome--guys love seeing pussy, so filling half the movie with ultra zoom shots on the girl getting fucked's pussy MUST be a good idea! RIGHT?

I'm pretty sure its the same rational that leads to this sort of thing.

i actually clicked the link, waited for it to load and fucking watched it
just to see fake boobs
i feel dumb

This trailer better be longer than it's taking me to download it, that's all I can say. (And when did 2199kbps become slower than average for download?!? I obviously am not going to the speed test sites enough. )

[Edit: Oh god that was bad.... I couldn't even watch the part of the trailer that had managed to download...]

Ctrl+Alt+Del has a great take on this, which I didn't fully appreciate until I saw the game trailer.

I understand why nobody would've noticed, but the backgrounds look good.

DOA has always had the rediculas bouncing boobs. You could go into options and set them to bounce in ways that would give gals black eyes.
This series of games was always summed up best by my friend Rikki when he said "Oh hey you guys are playing Boobie Ball Xtreme!"