NEWS: Heroine to be Punished For Telling The Truth

POLITICS: Heroine to be Punished For Telling The Truth

In a shining example how truly Godless America has become, the state of Florida wants to take away the license of a nurse who cared for Terri Schiavo. The Florida Department of Health is claiming Carla Sauer-Iyer improperly disclosed confidential patient information, which violates Florida law. The department conveniently dismisses the fact that her act did not violate God's law.



Wingless angel Terry Schiavo was murdered on March 31, 2005 when her food was taken away by faithless beasts doing the bidding of Satan. Terry had been in a coma since she collapsed in 1990. Sauer cared for Schiavo in 1998 when she was a patient at the Palm Garden of Largo. During that time Sauer saw Terry communicate clearly, eat from a baby bottle and chuckle at funny stories.



Three days before Terry was killed, Sauer went on CNN to tell American what she had observed. In what must have been a very scary moment, with so many people wanting Terry's death and not wanting to hear the truth, Sauer used God's strength to explain that she had seen Terry laugh, say "Mommy" and "Help me." Schiavo also enjoyed milkshakes and pudding.



After watching the program in liberal gay promoting Massachusetts, a registered nurse called the Florida Health Department and complained. Now, over a year later, the state has offered to settle the complaint if Sauer gives up her nursing license, pays a fine of $1,683 and agrees not to apply for a license in the future. Sauer has refused and is now waiting for a date to be set for an administrative hearing. Good thing Mother Teresa didn't practice in Florida.



We will never know if Terry could have improved because her husband and the state took her life prematurely. And now we throw another victim on the pile. Shame, American, shame.

OMFG R US SRSLY? UR A ASSHOLE

Figured I'd just get that out of the way right off the bat.

Wow, that is the most sarcastic, sort of misleading article I've read on here. By the way, I didn't care then and I don't care now. If no one gave a fuck about Shiavo when she was alive and having a good normal life, why should people care how she dies? If I were to go into a coma right now, I really hope nobody except my family and close friends ever even talk about it. And if I ever, ever see my drooling, camatose face on tv with people talking about my like and dislike for pudding, I swear I will come back from any coma or death and wreak havoc. Thank you, that is all.

seriously. is this a joke?

Ha ha, 24-karat life.

Maybe she'll get a part in the upcoming Terri Schiavo movie.

YES

I think it's pretty funny that she's claiming to have a 1st ammendment right to violate TS's HIPPA privacy rights. I'm almost pulling for her because if she wins I'll be free to make millions with my tell-all book describing my work with abused kids. Fuck their chances for a normal life, the public has a right to know!

if terri schiavo was any hotter, i'd have to buy another air conditioner.

man, she's cute.

WARNING: The previously article is a sarcastic, Colbert-style commentary. The opinions that appear to be expressed are the exact opposite of the intended message. Please keep your hands inside the vehicle. Thank you.

P.S. Please fill free on the actual CONTENT of the article

OK, since when is doing the bidding of Great Satan a bad thing? Did I miss a meeting?

Incidentally, Schiavo's final words were "2011. We have until 2011."

Hey, five years ain't bad. Be thankful. Live evil.

i honestly can't figure this out...usually your "satire" makes me chuckle. i get it, unlike some people around here. but i just can't figure this one out. wtf.

I think maybe the Colbert report works because it is visual. This I struggled with. I really didn't know if this was serious or not. Am I supposed to assume that if I read a 'right-wing' article at SG that it is being sarcastic?

Am I missing something?

I think written sarcasm works only if it is very obvious.

Example: Yeah, and I have a 12" dick.

See what I mean?

She's ceased to be! She's shuffled of this mortal coil and gone to join the choir invisible!

If you hadn't nailed her to the bed she'd be pushing up the daisies!

Any faith I had in humanity after the Schiavo affair, has left in the cloud of people unable to recognize the satiric nature of FearTheReaper's writing. Althought I guess it says something about the current state of right wing politics in the US that

can be taken seriously.

it didn't work.

keep 'em coming, FTR! you are a goddamn genius.

seriously, we need to collect your news posts into some kind of coffee table book.

Just out of curiousity, if this kind of rhetoric, meant seriously, heard enough in the states for there to be a difficulty distinguishing between reality and satire?

So she had to say something else in that interview then they are quoting the article right. Because if everything she said was a lie did she really divulge confidential patient information?

Damn, this shit is getting irritating. I'm sick of people exploiting this incident every which way. Let it go!

there are, actually, several popular screaming heads who sound pretty much just like FTR-- limbaugh, coulter, hannity, savage, etc-- but I don't really think that's what's going on. everyone understands the onion after all, and they play it far straighter and more subtle than this. maybe people truly are used to satirists being less ridiculous than actual hardcore republicans? I dunno.

Kinda.

I think it's just that satire is usually funny. That's what's throwing people off.