She was incredible. I knew i'd had a major crush on her before I went, I wasn't prepared to feel like this for her though. I miss her more than I was really prepared to.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about her at all. I know for certain that i'm going to need to have her in my life. I'd give anything to be with her still. Im going to backtrack a little and explain the soundtrack signals that i've been getting since i really started talking to her more.
When we really started to discuss the idea of me coming for a visit, I started to notice that certain songs got shuffled into my music more than often. Songs where lyrics happened to really fit the context perfectly.
Some examples being:
Crush'd - Say Anything
Woe - Say Anything
Forever for her (is over for me) - The White Stripes
Call me foolish for seeing these as signs to go, but I took them. I was thinking about something very heavily, and I ended up getting pushed and urged to go from songs coming on shuffle. I took the push and ran with it. I have no regrets, going to meet her was the best decision of my life. It hurts to be away from her.
We did so many great things together that i'll never forget. Natural History Museum, walk of fame, Universal. God. I loved every second I was there, having her with me made everything feel... perfect.
From the first moment we met face to face to the sad goodbye, I knew I had made the right choice. She found me at the baggage claim, snuck up behind me and slid her arms around me. First thing I felt was her warm hand rolling over my hip and around my waist. Her first words were to tell me that I was shaking. I was nervous. I was petrified. I was happy to see her. I felt at home in her arms. I never wanted to let go of her, and i'm dying to have her back in my arms again.
The day I left was such a somber day. There was no happiness. I wasn't happy to be home. I wasn't ready to leave. I cried. The music mocking us as we get in the car to leave for the airport. The same signs seeming to be in control. This time the radio jumps to life with "Closing Time" right at the part of the song with
Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
I'm pretty much crazy about her. In a week she had started to undo all the insecurities and headgames that my ex had installed without my being aware.
I can't wait to see her again.
/
So cool.