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zoran

Member Since 2005

Followers 28 Following 55

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Sunday Oct 02, 2005

Oct 2, 2005
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Well the weekend's over and I'm feelin the same as when it started, thirsty for a ciggarette, lonely, unappreciated by my non-virtual friends, sick of this hernia post op shit, uncreative just when I need to be the most creative, over-rested and still tired, I could go on but I can't be fucked lettin all the negativity transcend the keyboard and end up on screen for all the world to be infected.

In other news, I've been thinking maybe it's time I got serious about life, give up comic reading, give up magazine collecting, stop dreaming, go work full time somewhere not that depressing . . . . . . . .

AAAAAARRRRGHHH! what's wrong with me? I can't do it. I'm gonna end up with no family of my own, single, end up successful when I'm too old to enjoy all the perks. I've self-diagnosed myself with Instant gratificationitus, it's the compulsion to only do things that make you happy at any particular time of your life.

I can't do it. I can't give up the things that I love, all the posters on my walls, the comics in my collection. The magazines in my office stacked so high all I have to do is breathe and they collapse to the floor, and music, my mistress, my seductress. She lulls me to sleep, she caresses me when I'm sad, makes me wanna dance when she's full of energy, wipes my tears away when I need a pick me up. Music is the one thing I can never live without. My worst fear is that I'll go deaf and never get to hear my love again.

When I write music it's like creating another lifeform, the songs have their own identity, their own wishes, excitement, life. It's unbelievable. I just can't give that up, don't think I'll ever be able to. . . . .

Oh well, back to the drawing board. Looks like I'm gonna be a starving artist for the rest of my life. Gotta go work on the album I'm designing.

See ya,

Zee
redwildflower:
LOL I totally loved your Happyland dating world. smile You're my hero for just coming up with that. It sounds like something I would say and everyone would give you that "are you okay" look. I love it!

I'm sorry you feel that way. Let me help you with this one. Don't grab the ciggie, you'd be surprised how not lonely you are and how many people actually notice you, and sometimes if you do go on it feels good to vent. Feel free to be negative anytime you want. I'll try to put on rose colored glasses for you. kiss

I don't even know why you would want to give up things that you love. I really don't understand that part. I mean I still collect Strawberry Shortcake from the 80s. And you know they say if you continue to do what you love you'll live longer. So, you'll be able to reap those benefits and have more time to have that non-lonely life. smile
Oct 3, 2005

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