because after almost two solid years of my vomit-inducing roller coaster escapades, i am definitely sick of it. so i imagine you all must be too.
this is nothing new either. before the 5 years i spent with
gonzo77, it was the same exact shit. another day, another boyfriend. (at least then i could blame it on being in high school and being a teenaged douche nozzle lol.)
i can go on and on about how unfair life is. how timing is bad, how all the men in the world are full of fail, how this one and that one did me wrong, and how i have bad luck, and how none of this is my fault...but the fact of the matter is that there are a million really awesome, decent single men out there.
if i am continually getting mixed up with ass holes and dirt bags, and am not feeling a spark with any of the nice guys... then clearly *I* am doing something wrong. i am projecting some sort of message that says "hey! here's a sucker, treat her like shit!" i have no excuses. i can hide behind my faith in humanity, and have an infinite spring of hope that the next guy will be better... but i am still doing something wrong. no one has this sort of epic run of bad luck, except maybe job. and i am not exactly a biblical figure or anything.
so i think it's time i shut the fuck up about it. if i'm bringing it upon myself, i have no right to complain.
And if people don't want to hear it then screw them.
And I am a direct example of timing/situations really fucking up what could be a good thing.
You don't like the "nice" guys because they are boring.
And not in a they are so nice to you boring.
They don't like the same things as you.
It isn't you, it isn't them, you just don't mesh.
So don't blame yourself.