so this is something i just read on yahoo...one of their periodic "we have no news so we're throwing in yet another random dating advice article to fill up the front page". cause you know, what's going on in bangladesh or iraq or with the economy is WAY less important than how to get yrself laid. i've added my own comments in italics for a lark.
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How to read body language cues
Now what type of body language should you be looking for when you're sitting across from her at that table?
Pay attention to her eyes. One sign of attraction is when her eyes are open really wide, and her pupils are enlarged when you are talking or when she is talking to you.
or it could mean that she's smoked a bunch of angel dust right before the date.
Another sign of attraction is that when you are speaking, she will lean her body into you and literally be drawn in with your words. She will not get up and go to the bathroom.
and although she may genuinely be interested in you, all she will be able to think about is how bad she has to pee.
She will sit there and not want to miss a single second of the date:
* She will not look at her watch.
* She will not look around the room.
even though she may be worried about running into someone she knows. possibly an ex. and yes, it's a slim chance, but lord knows women worry about some wacky shit.
* She will be totally fixated on you the whole time.
* She will play with her hair and lick her lips before she moves towards you, because she is creating a sexual feeling inside her.
or she's worried that her hair got messed up by the wind, or has hat head, or maybe that nasty lingering cold sore is visible underneath 7 lbs of greasy lip gloss. no really! creating a sexual feeling inside of her. like we're some sort of human orgasm volcanoes, spewing forth molten vagina lava. PUH-LEASE.
* She will reach her hand across the table and glance at yours.
is that axel grease under his nails?? pass the ketchup, you fucking chatty bastard. shut up for one second and pass the goddamned ketchup. and get a damn manicure!!!
* She will touch your shoulder or another part of you very casually.
eww, he's got some schmutz on his shoulder. or is that dandruff?? omg head and shoulders!
* When she is speaking, she will touch her leg or her face, imagining it was you who was touching her.
or she is worried about a zit, the hickey from last nights date...did my tampon leak?? omg these jeans make my thighs look big. i shoulda worn the other ones. oh shit if he gets my pants off later, i hope i didn't miss that one spot waaay in the back when i was shaving. did i wear the right underwear? i should've worn the purple ones. they don't leave panty lines. shit!
There are many others, but these are a few good ones to get you started.
Keep in mind that what she is doing and communicating with her body is on a subconscious level. She is not aware of what she is doing, and that is what makes this so powerful.
BULL FUCKING SHIT. women are smarmy fuckers. they know EXACTLY what they're up to, at all times, and they will play you like an old fiddle given the chance. that's why this is so powerful- cause 9 times out of 10 you'll fall for it. you poor bastard. you deserve better.
One last thing: How do you know after all of this that she wants the kiss?
She wants the kiss if, when you walk her to the car, she lingers and keeps talking and looking at you. What you do then is go in, move towards her lips, and see what she does. Then pull to the side and give her a hug. This will create tension. If she then talks more, look at her, touch her face and move in for the kiss.
of course, if you've had enough drinks in ya, you can just skip to the chase and throw her up against that car and move in for the tongue down the throat maneuver. hopefully she won't stink like whiskey. if she doesn't push you off of her and slap you across the face, then sex is on. cause 60% of the time, it works every time!
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like honestly, dating is not that hard. you meet someone somewhere, you get to know them. be honest, be yourself, and be nice. don't try too hard. if it's meant to be, it'll fall into place with little to no effort. if it isn't meant to be, don't force it. have a good time and don't expect too much. be smart and use protection. and if this is all too much for you to handle, get a sex toy and some porn and lock yrself in yr parent's basement until you fuck yrself to death.
(i hope no one takes me too seriously!)
---------------------------------------------------------
How to read body language cues
Now what type of body language should you be looking for when you're sitting across from her at that table?
Pay attention to her eyes. One sign of attraction is when her eyes are open really wide, and her pupils are enlarged when you are talking or when she is talking to you.
or it could mean that she's smoked a bunch of angel dust right before the date.
Another sign of attraction is that when you are speaking, she will lean her body into you and literally be drawn in with your words. She will not get up and go to the bathroom.
and although she may genuinely be interested in you, all she will be able to think about is how bad she has to pee.
She will sit there and not want to miss a single second of the date:
* She will not look at her watch.
* She will not look around the room.
even though she may be worried about running into someone she knows. possibly an ex. and yes, it's a slim chance, but lord knows women worry about some wacky shit.
* She will be totally fixated on you the whole time.
* She will play with her hair and lick her lips before she moves towards you, because she is creating a sexual feeling inside her.
or she's worried that her hair got messed up by the wind, or has hat head, or maybe that nasty lingering cold sore is visible underneath 7 lbs of greasy lip gloss. no really! creating a sexual feeling inside of her. like we're some sort of human orgasm volcanoes, spewing forth molten vagina lava. PUH-LEASE.
* She will reach her hand across the table and glance at yours.
is that axel grease under his nails?? pass the ketchup, you fucking chatty bastard. shut up for one second and pass the goddamned ketchup. and get a damn manicure!!!
* She will touch your shoulder or another part of you very casually.
eww, he's got some schmutz on his shoulder. or is that dandruff?? omg head and shoulders!
* When she is speaking, she will touch her leg or her face, imagining it was you who was touching her.
or she is worried about a zit, the hickey from last nights date...did my tampon leak?? omg these jeans make my thighs look big. i shoulda worn the other ones. oh shit if he gets my pants off later, i hope i didn't miss that one spot waaay in the back when i was shaving. did i wear the right underwear? i should've worn the purple ones. they don't leave panty lines. shit!
There are many others, but these are a few good ones to get you started.
Keep in mind that what she is doing and communicating with her body is on a subconscious level. She is not aware of what she is doing, and that is what makes this so powerful.
BULL FUCKING SHIT. women are smarmy fuckers. they know EXACTLY what they're up to, at all times, and they will play you like an old fiddle given the chance. that's why this is so powerful- cause 9 times out of 10 you'll fall for it. you poor bastard. you deserve better.
One last thing: How do you know after all of this that she wants the kiss?
She wants the kiss if, when you walk her to the car, she lingers and keeps talking and looking at you. What you do then is go in, move towards her lips, and see what she does. Then pull to the side and give her a hug. This will create tension. If she then talks more, look at her, touch her face and move in for the kiss.
of course, if you've had enough drinks in ya, you can just skip to the chase and throw her up against that car and move in for the tongue down the throat maneuver. hopefully she won't stink like whiskey. if she doesn't push you off of her and slap you across the face, then sex is on. cause 60% of the time, it works every time!
------------------------------
like honestly, dating is not that hard. you meet someone somewhere, you get to know them. be honest, be yourself, and be nice. don't try too hard. if it's meant to be, it'll fall into place with little to no effort. if it isn't meant to be, don't force it. have a good time and don't expect too much. be smart and use protection. and if this is all too much for you to handle, get a sex toy and some porn and lock yrself in yr parent's basement until you fuck yrself to death.
(i hope no one takes me too seriously!)
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
I dont know Raab, but my buddy knows one of those guys and we got backstage and were chillin back there and I asked if he would mind if I took a picture with him.