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zombimonkee

Melrose, Wisconsin

Member Since 2003

Followers 3 Following 2

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Friday Dec 10, 2004

Dec 10, 2004
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Heh~ its been a damn long time since I have actually made a post... never really had both the time and the concentration needed to achieve such a difficult task. A lot of shit has changed in my 4 month hiatus(then again... some things haven't) so I apoligize in advance for this rather long post. Fuck that... I am not apoligizing. If you don't want to read this shit you don't have to(most people don't).

Well I guess one of the more drastic changes would have to be that I actually have a girlfriend now. This is a monumental incident for two reasons: First, I haven't dated a girl in 5 years(no guys either you perverted fucks) and the second reason is that we are still together(none of my other relationships lasted over a month...their fault...really). She is really a beautiful and wonderful girl and I am suprised she has put up with all the weird shit I have said or done in the past few months(trust me... that is no easy task). Hopefully Sami won't be getting tired of me anytime soon so here's to wishing and all that rot.

Yeah... Bush got re-elected... I really don't think I have to say much about that.

Been tryin' to get certain aspect of my life "unfuckie". Who the fuck knew tryin' to get ones life straight would be so fuckin' hard? I mean it is one serious mind fuck, but I think I am actually starting to make some progress. Still got a good fuckin' ways to go, but hell at least I am tryin'. I am attempting to go back to college next semester, which is a good thing 'cause I haven't exactly been stimulating my brain in any benificial manner and am frankly feelin' pretty fuckin' stupid of late. Hopefully those cunts at the colleges won't fuck me over again.

Read the book "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman... damn good book. He truly is a fuckin' literary genius. Kinda' reminded me of Harlan Ellison's "Deathbird Stories", which is both brilliant and blashpemous at the same time (a rather fun combination in my opinion). It kinda' made me think that maybe things only exist 'cause we believe they exist. Not that Satan Clause or Easter Bunny shit... but anything. I mean maybe America doesn't really exist... maybe it is more of a mass manifestation and if we all stop believing in it, it will all fuckin' disappear. It is the same with people... maybe I only exist because others believe I do. What if shit only exist when we are experiencing them... like if I am in my room, that is my own personal universe at that time. If I leave the room, a new universe or whatever is then created. Heh~ who the fuck knows? It's like when you were a kid and you always tried to find out whether or not that damn refrigerator light always stay on. It is not like I can peek out my fuckin' door and *poof* watch universe elfs at work.

It is weird... I usually find my room to be a sort of haven, a nice little escape from everything. However, today for some reason I find it to be so... oppressive. I don't know why but I just can't force myself to go in there... it holds no comfort to me.

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