i caught up with an old friend today... i haven't seen Meagan for almost two years! (she has been living in Berlin). we talked about what has been happening in our lives : partners and break-ups, jobs and study, the fact that we both had a cancer scare. hers much more serious than mine.
she had noticed a mole on her left leg that, over time, had grown. she decided that as soon as she got back to Brisbane she'd have it checked out by her skin specialist. this mole turned out to be a melanoma. it resulted in several surgeries. including the removal of the lymph nodes in her leg. she told me that throughout all of the treatment that she was never really sure just how to feel... should she be scared? was it worth being scared over? how bad was it ACTUALLY, since she didn't have any outward signs that she was unwell? she said her doctors didn't want to worry her but in the end it was really serious.
talking to meagan today made me realise how i have been a bit reclusive when it comes to my friends and family. there are friends i need to get back in touch with. family i need to spend more time getting to know. i feel like i have been a bad daughter/sister/aunt/friend over the past 18 months. its true i have had alot on my plate in this time but thats not really an excuse of any kind. time to rectify this now i think.
in saying all of that, i also realised today that its time to start making a few changes, personally. i need to wrap a few things up this year. close a few chapters of my life that have been dragging on a little too long for my liking.
time to get the divorce sorted - i guess this means i'm really ready to let go of that part of my life. B and i have been seperated for 18 months and i want to move forward without that burden hanging over my head. andy hasn't asked about it and i haven't offered the info up. we have both kinda silently agreed that we won't talk about it.
time to get my finances back on track - pay my credit card off, finalise the loan B and i still have together. start a savings plan for a real holiday...away somewhere where i can sit on the sand and look out at the ocean for a decent stretch of time. gosh how i miss the beach.
time to think more seriously about living in a grown up house (moving out of the sharehouse and into my own place)...its not that i don't like living with sarey and chris... its just that i'm tired of living in a party house. i'm feeling, pretty strongly, the need to settle a little bit. to do that i really need my own space where i feel totally comfortable. i don't want to come home on a friday or saturday afternoon from work to find a house full of people getting ready to go out on the booze, making a mess in my space. it doesn't seem to bother the people i live with but i think that has something to do with the significant age gap... i've been there...done that all before and i have grown tired of it i think.
so now time to start over... the new season brings with it a new beginning, a fresh start, if you will. wish me luck. i feel it's time and so i think i will be successful.
this blog turned out to be a little more sombre than i had planned. maybe its the realisation that i have been putting things off for far too long. who knows...? maybe it's simply the weather...
goodnight lovlies. sleep well when you get there and the sweetest of dreams for you all tonight.
zn.xx
she had noticed a mole on her left leg that, over time, had grown. she decided that as soon as she got back to Brisbane she'd have it checked out by her skin specialist. this mole turned out to be a melanoma. it resulted in several surgeries. including the removal of the lymph nodes in her leg. she told me that throughout all of the treatment that she was never really sure just how to feel... should she be scared? was it worth being scared over? how bad was it ACTUALLY, since she didn't have any outward signs that she was unwell? she said her doctors didn't want to worry her but in the end it was really serious.
talking to meagan today made me realise how i have been a bit reclusive when it comes to my friends and family. there are friends i need to get back in touch with. family i need to spend more time getting to know. i feel like i have been a bad daughter/sister/aunt/friend over the past 18 months. its true i have had alot on my plate in this time but thats not really an excuse of any kind. time to rectify this now i think.
in saying all of that, i also realised today that its time to start making a few changes, personally. i need to wrap a few things up this year. close a few chapters of my life that have been dragging on a little too long for my liking.
time to get the divorce sorted - i guess this means i'm really ready to let go of that part of my life. B and i have been seperated for 18 months and i want to move forward without that burden hanging over my head. andy hasn't asked about it and i haven't offered the info up. we have both kinda silently agreed that we won't talk about it.
time to get my finances back on track - pay my credit card off, finalise the loan B and i still have together. start a savings plan for a real holiday...away somewhere where i can sit on the sand and look out at the ocean for a decent stretch of time. gosh how i miss the beach.
time to think more seriously about living in a grown up house (moving out of the sharehouse and into my own place)...its not that i don't like living with sarey and chris... its just that i'm tired of living in a party house. i'm feeling, pretty strongly, the need to settle a little bit. to do that i really need my own space where i feel totally comfortable. i don't want to come home on a friday or saturday afternoon from work to find a house full of people getting ready to go out on the booze, making a mess in my space. it doesn't seem to bother the people i live with but i think that has something to do with the significant age gap... i've been there...done that all before and i have grown tired of it i think.
so now time to start over... the new season brings with it a new beginning, a fresh start, if you will. wish me luck. i feel it's time and so i think i will be successful.
this blog turned out to be a little more sombre than i had planned. maybe its the realisation that i have been putting things off for far too long. who knows...? maybe it's simply the weather...
goodnight lovlies. sleep well when you get there and the sweetest of dreams for you all tonight.
zn.xx
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As for your giggling pix, they aren't seeing the light of day ever. I think that night should stay between you, Minda and I. makes it a bit more 'special'. And nobody else would get it
I really wana get glitter for food now hahaha would have it on everything tho i think hahaha