"A long desired relationship could be coming soon. Prepare yourself to this dating and turn everything on your side. Be selective with the choice of your relationships. Leave nothing to chance in the upcoming event."
This is what my horoscope is for today. Normally at 3 AM I'd write my personal diary, but tonight I don't want to be an annoyance. Ever want to be of perfection to something or someone? Maybe at something you enjoy doing, or someone you adore? I was just watching a movie, that made me wonder this. A lot has been going on around me lately to keep my mind wondering. I suppose when you're feeling as horribly as me, with the kidney stone thing and all, I am a bit extra sensitive. I allowed my mother to bring me to tears this evening.
See, my mom and I don't have the best of relationships, mainly because she doesn't have her priorities straight, and for some reason she's extremely jealous of me. Well she's had a more than a few failed marriages, and she can't stand to be alone. We were talking and she started to cry, and blamed it on me. I hadn't said a thing to upset her, only supportive words. She told me she didn't want to talk to me and hung up. Two hours later I instant messaged her, and told her I loved her and that I was always here for her. She replied with an "I'm sorry. I love you and I know you know exactly how I feel in the lonely department." She told me that I was a fantastic mother and daughter. At this point I began to cry even more. She has this magical way of making me fall to pieces. So I spent the evening with my daughter in my arms.
My daughter is my life. She is everything I could ever want and need. She doesn't care if I'm having a bad hair day, or if I'm in sweat pants, or if dinner is a happy meal because I don't feel like cooking. She's always proud of me, and her smile melts me. When I first found out that Violet had Down syndrome, about 2 hours after I had had a horrific c-section, I was devastated to say the least. She spent the next 22 days in the NICU because of her birth weight of 3 lbs 10 oz. I spent the next 22 days in a complete blur. I didn't know what to do. I thought my life was over. I had had the prenatal tests done and they all had come back negative for Down syndrome, and at the time of conception I was only 23 and knew of no one with Down syndrome. When I would go see her at the hospital (which was every day) I would cry. I would look at her and cry, and blame myself. I thought that it was all my fault. Little did I know that life with Violet would be the best thing that ever happened to me.
And then last August I found out she was also autistic. I had already known for awhile and fought with numerous doctors over it. She would have these horrible attacks where she would pull at her hair and scream for hours on end. No one believed me when I told them about it. One day about a month ago my mother was staying with me, and Violet had one of her attacks, and my mom was in pure shock. She started to bawl her eyes out. She kept apologizing to me, telling me how sorry she was, and how she knew how unhappy I was. I looked at her and said "Mom, this is just for a little while, when it's over, everything will be just fine."
People tend to walk on glass around me because of her Down syndrome and autism. They don't have to. She is my child, my life, my heart. Any question they had, they could ask. I feel rather confident in my knowledge on the two conditions. Today I teach a gymnastics and dance class for toddlers with Down syndrome, and I'm a very big advocate for Down syndrome Awareness. I've met several families with children with Down syndrome. They are all very different. They range from mild, to very severe. Violet is more on the mild end. She does have two holes in her heart, and she does have a sedated echocardiogram on Friday, which I'm so nervous about. If they find any problems, she will have to have open-heart surgery and will be in the hospital for a month or so. She does need glasses. Her hearing is alright, and she is also at risk for diabetes and hypothyroid, and since I have both of those, she gets a double chance of getting them both.
When I was in high school I worked with special needs kids. It made me feel so good about myself, and now I have one of my own. People are under the assumption that all people with DS are always happy and so sweet, when they are just like you or I, except they involve a bit more patience.
I've had some pretty nasty things said to me about her or to her. Now anyone who knows me knows that you DON"T do that! I've had people ask "why does your kid look different," or "is she chinese?" I've had people accuse me of doing drugs during my pregnancy, or ask if I'm mentally retarded. People have sent me emails on facebook calling her a retard(these are people I don't even know). It used to tear me up, but now I just brush it off, because anyone who has the privilege to know Vi is so lucky! She warms everyone's heart. She has this way of making your bad day suddenly get better.
She loves Lady GaGa, Spongebob, dancing, singing, and drawing. Her favorite color is green. She is very OCD. Her favorite food is bananas. She's just like any other three year old, except for she needs a little more patience. She goes to physical therapy, and has graduated occupational, feeding, and speech therapy. With a little work, these children can do and be anything they want.
I suppose the thing that gets me the most is the ignorance. I had an older woman approach me one day and she said "Oh my grandson is like your kid, and she'll grow out of it when she gets older." I looked at her and asked "what exactly is what your grandson has called?" She just walked away. Exactly. People don't understand how Down syndrome works. It happens at conception. It just happens. It used to happen to older people, but is now happening to more and more younger people, because they are the ones that are having most of the babies. I've read my share of books, and watched my movies. Violet was even asked to play the role of the little girl in "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" but was sick when it came time to shoot the movie. She's won numerous pretty baby magazine contests.
I don't think I could be any prouder of my little girl! Some people stopped talking to me after they found out that she had DS, but I guess I don't need them in my life.
So what prompted me to write this tonight? A few things. One being my chat with my mom. I long to have a better relationship with her, and I try so hard. But it takes two. And the other being, I was laying with her tonight and she grabbed my face, smiled at me, and said "Mama, I looooooove ew!" I'm a package deal. It's my mini me and me for life!
Violet Monroe
This is what my horoscope is for today. Normally at 3 AM I'd write my personal diary, but tonight I don't want to be an annoyance. Ever want to be of perfection to something or someone? Maybe at something you enjoy doing, or someone you adore? I was just watching a movie, that made me wonder this. A lot has been going on around me lately to keep my mind wondering. I suppose when you're feeling as horribly as me, with the kidney stone thing and all, I am a bit extra sensitive. I allowed my mother to bring me to tears this evening.
See, my mom and I don't have the best of relationships, mainly because she doesn't have her priorities straight, and for some reason she's extremely jealous of me. Well she's had a more than a few failed marriages, and she can't stand to be alone. We were talking and she started to cry, and blamed it on me. I hadn't said a thing to upset her, only supportive words. She told me she didn't want to talk to me and hung up. Two hours later I instant messaged her, and told her I loved her and that I was always here for her. She replied with an "I'm sorry. I love you and I know you know exactly how I feel in the lonely department." She told me that I was a fantastic mother and daughter. At this point I began to cry even more. She has this magical way of making me fall to pieces. So I spent the evening with my daughter in my arms.
My daughter is my life. She is everything I could ever want and need. She doesn't care if I'm having a bad hair day, or if I'm in sweat pants, or if dinner is a happy meal because I don't feel like cooking. She's always proud of me, and her smile melts me. When I first found out that Violet had Down syndrome, about 2 hours after I had had a horrific c-section, I was devastated to say the least. She spent the next 22 days in the NICU because of her birth weight of 3 lbs 10 oz. I spent the next 22 days in a complete blur. I didn't know what to do. I thought my life was over. I had had the prenatal tests done and they all had come back negative for Down syndrome, and at the time of conception I was only 23 and knew of no one with Down syndrome. When I would go see her at the hospital (which was every day) I would cry. I would look at her and cry, and blame myself. I thought that it was all my fault. Little did I know that life with Violet would be the best thing that ever happened to me.
And then last August I found out she was also autistic. I had already known for awhile and fought with numerous doctors over it. She would have these horrible attacks where she would pull at her hair and scream for hours on end. No one believed me when I told them about it. One day about a month ago my mother was staying with me, and Violet had one of her attacks, and my mom was in pure shock. She started to bawl her eyes out. She kept apologizing to me, telling me how sorry she was, and how she knew how unhappy I was. I looked at her and said "Mom, this is just for a little while, when it's over, everything will be just fine."
People tend to walk on glass around me because of her Down syndrome and autism. They don't have to. She is my child, my life, my heart. Any question they had, they could ask. I feel rather confident in my knowledge on the two conditions. Today I teach a gymnastics and dance class for toddlers with Down syndrome, and I'm a very big advocate for Down syndrome Awareness. I've met several families with children with Down syndrome. They are all very different. They range from mild, to very severe. Violet is more on the mild end. She does have two holes in her heart, and she does have a sedated echocardiogram on Friday, which I'm so nervous about. If they find any problems, she will have to have open-heart surgery and will be in the hospital for a month or so. She does need glasses. Her hearing is alright, and she is also at risk for diabetes and hypothyroid, and since I have both of those, she gets a double chance of getting them both.
When I was in high school I worked with special needs kids. It made me feel so good about myself, and now I have one of my own. People are under the assumption that all people with DS are always happy and so sweet, when they are just like you or I, except they involve a bit more patience.
I've had some pretty nasty things said to me about her or to her. Now anyone who knows me knows that you DON"T do that! I've had people ask "why does your kid look different," or "is she chinese?" I've had people accuse me of doing drugs during my pregnancy, or ask if I'm mentally retarded. People have sent me emails on facebook calling her a retard(these are people I don't even know). It used to tear me up, but now I just brush it off, because anyone who has the privilege to know Vi is so lucky! She warms everyone's heart. She has this way of making your bad day suddenly get better.
She loves Lady GaGa, Spongebob, dancing, singing, and drawing. Her favorite color is green. She is very OCD. Her favorite food is bananas. She's just like any other three year old, except for she needs a little more patience. She goes to physical therapy, and has graduated occupational, feeding, and speech therapy. With a little work, these children can do and be anything they want.
I suppose the thing that gets me the most is the ignorance. I had an older woman approach me one day and she said "Oh my grandson is like your kid, and she'll grow out of it when she gets older." I looked at her and asked "what exactly is what your grandson has called?" She just walked away. Exactly. People don't understand how Down syndrome works. It happens at conception. It just happens. It used to happen to older people, but is now happening to more and more younger people, because they are the ones that are having most of the babies. I've read my share of books, and watched my movies. Violet was even asked to play the role of the little girl in "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" but was sick when it came time to shoot the movie. She's won numerous pretty baby magazine contests.
I don't think I could be any prouder of my little girl! Some people stopped talking to me after they found out that she had DS, but I guess I don't need them in my life.
So what prompted me to write this tonight? A few things. One being my chat with my mom. I long to have a better relationship with her, and I try so hard. But it takes two. And the other being, I was laying with her tonight and she grabbed my face, smiled at me, and said "Mama, I looooooove ew!" I'm a package deal. It's my mini me and me for life!
Violet Monroe
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
defendtucson:
Well thank you! I am but it's almost time for bed. haha hope youre having a good night too!!
defendtucson:
Anytime! Good luck with the doctors appointment!