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Zombie make dinner. Zombie make dinner good.

And so it was that I came to invite a couple of old friends we hadnt seen for years around to dinner at the Zombie homestead. 50% of said friends had been the best man at My Good Lady Wifes wedding (to me). The other 50% was also present at said wedding and is the living partner of...
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VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
mistress_:
kiss
aksiokersa:
The mommy gerbil eats some of the babies cos they are so appealingly crisp-shaped.
Join the "End Cheesy Pancake Death" crusade by sending 17% of your monthly income to 1533 NW Freeling St, San Francisco CA, 97203. COD and more photos of girl's asses in red mesh panites accepted.
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A temporary return from the desert of my shame. But I'm tempestuous and sulk easily. My Good Lady Wife says it's in my astrology. But she would that - she's catholic.

Eeek!


also

ngghhh!


I've just returned from the Doctor of Evil, He Who Speaks Evil Things. I'm having my nads cut to ensure that there will be no more Little Zombies. My Good Lady...
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VIEW 25 of 49 COMMENTS
mistress_:
No fun in optimism....
and pessimists get all the girls.

Perhaps this mothers day instead of flowers (since you're obviously rotten about them) you should buy her an assortment of crisps from the petrol station. Add a pack of fags and a string of condoms and you'll be in for a night of fun. Whooo whooo! Every mothers dream gift. I know I'd appreciate almost any gift that came from the corner store. I'm sure Omar (my local variety store worker) could help to find that special something among the rolling papers and flesh mags and assorted foodstuffs.....Do I smell sardines??!!! Oh honey, you shouldn't have!

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.--Don Marquis
mistress_:
You so silly! Omar SELLS nachos!

BTW you forgot type E: The cup just isn't flippin large enough!

[Edited on Mar 08, 2005 8:10AM]
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Hunter S. Thompson.

It seems to me that he lived his life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to turn to when...

Please sign our

Book of Condolence
unscared26:
Hunter S. Tompson?is he dead?
unscared26:
sorry for the stupid question,first i heard of it,terrible news
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Oh.

Oh dear.

Not sure where I stand on the events of Saturday night. My brain tells me it all went fine and there is nothing to worry about. My stomach is saying I need to consult a liver specialist. My bum hole is recommending good lawyers.

So a bit of a mixed bag then. It started off in the worst way, with me and...
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
aksiokersa:
I have a similar problem with my pet geese here in the US.
They are always using up all the toilet paper and then not putting a new role on for the next person. My geese haven't died yet (they are so useful!), but I do have to go out and give them a good beating now and then.
hunkpapa:
Ta very much, chum. I'm really about as much of a scouser as...well, as someone who isn't a scouser. but I won't tell if you don't.
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Ugh.

So last night I get safely tanked up on whisky. Nothing unusual there. I don't take drugs, cos I'm a big wuss, but I do drink rather heavily. Some may say to excess. Members of the clergy may add 'to a satanic volume that would embarrass the devil himself'.

Last night was one such occassion. And this I did in the full knowledge that...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
sluttygoodgirl:
"My Lady Wife", haha, I love it. smile
charley:
No I still no likey it tongue
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Is it just me, or is SG basically all about naked, tattooed chicks going crazy for eye-liner and pouting like it's an olympic sport and there's a gold medal at stake?

Don't you think you're over-tilling the soil here? I mean, where's the appeal to the wider audience? Where, for example, are the bearded ladies? Where are the polyester-clad trash hoes? Where are the mutant...
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walkswithbears:
wotcha - as you will know by now, the hookup search engine on sg for us ukers is pretty fucked. i do however live in liverpool (ish) so well done! there aren't that many of i don't think - xume, syer_lps and DouglasFir are the only three i know (but have never met).

bah, anyway, welcome! i think a multiple girl set of sgs riding those dogs like chariots could be the hottest thing this place has ever seen. it'll either leave 'em high and dry or give them the bends...

...shit.

but yeah, those dogs are chicken soup for the soul for those who like our animals to be more than mans best friend. exquisite.



the smooth bastard.

ps. if its the barfly, its probably the music.
pps, as for the pics, an hour and a half, but stopped for lunch.


[Edited on Jan 31, 2005 11:21PM]
zombieelvis:
I'm going to carry this one on here. Couple of reasons:
1- it's a small thread with limited possibilities
2 - I'm a revolutionary. I take on board what Eponine said about responding to comments on your own board with comments on your respondent's board - and I'm a newbie n'all and don't know about the crazy crazy ways of SG posters - but I've been reading other people's boards and don't know what the hell's going on in there.
3 - I'm very anti-scoial and don't often come out of my laboratory unless I'm absolutely starved of brains.

So, thank you walkswithbears, for your thoughtful response here. Also your picture. It put me in mind of my favourite site, Something Awful , which, in my opinion, is the litmus test of genuine sociability and genius. And yes, those two things do occassionally mix, though not often. In fact, anyone who doesn't have Something Awful bookmarked should be stoned then ostracised.

Good.

On a bad note, walkswithbears set me to masturbating furiously with thoughts of SGs riding Valkyrie-like on disabled dogs with wheels. Pheeeew-eeeee. That image gets me all hot. Thank god he didn't mention the Priesthood.

I'm not convinced it is just the music at the Barfly that pisses me off. Yes, it's a significant factor. I dunno - I'm not young like I used to be. I like stuff like White Zombie, The Cramps, New York Dolls - you know, proper tunes like we used to have. Not this boomp-a-cha modern techno fare. However, I can suffer it if I must. But the Barfly is also populated with, well, no-one. It's regularly dead. When there are people in there, they get scared easily. Or maybe I scare them easily. Maybe I should stop asking for brains. Maybe I should be less honest about their tattoos ('ooo, that's pretty' rather than 'if I were you I'd sue over that shit'). Maybe I shouldn't ask if I can try on their girlfriend's clothes (you'll be amazed at how quickly you can get a whole table to yourself with that one). But we've established that I'm not a sociable person, so I accept maybe a tiny tiny bit of the blame there. But also, and fundamentally, the Barfly doesn't know what the hell it is. If it just stuck to catering for one crowd, found itself a comfortable niche (and there are many to fill) it wouldn't have empty nights. One night in six weeks is the current statistic for the Barfly getting it right. The rest is bollocks. Simply because people don't know what the fuck is going on there. And asking the bouncers at the door is no good because a:it means you can't plan ahead and b:they're immensely fat and it's impossible to understand a fucking word they're saying.

Anyways, this was going to be small. Now it's bigger. So I'll stop.

Thanks again walkswithbears. You really should put that Photoshop down though.

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I meant to say something about German porn. German porno guys - you're the best! I love you all.

I hate that American shit (Basic Premise: sweaty, steriod-fuelled meat-head fucks woman up the arse while she wishes she's spent more time at school/listened to her mother. He grunts, she oos and aaas, eventually he cums over her face, slaps her enticingly with his cock and...
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Greetings my little lovelorn lab rats. Desperately seeking another nibble of Zombie's discarded chorizo?

Probably not.

Spent the weekend puking my guts up after my sister tried to poison me with the Chilli-non-Carne she'd made for her birthday party (those Quorn guys need arresting). For five long hours I was all kidney beans and meat substitute. My sister isn't veggie, but I am. As are...
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Great nights in Liverpool update:

Play toilet spaghetti in the gents' cubicle of the The Swan -
take long, long strip of toilet paper. Insert one end of toilet paper in the pan water. Trail remaining paper neatly down outside of toilet and along the floor (the floor must be dry - this may be difficult to acheive in The Swan, this being the case,...
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Liverpool is shite. Jesus. God get me out of here. Are you from Liverpool? Join me in my tunnel committee - I plan to dig my way out of here before Easter. Otherwise please send suggestions for decent scouse night out to me. Quickly now. And no, the toilets of the Philharmonic pub don't count.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
eponine:
i have no cabbages or offspring, but if i did, i would gladly give them to you. we might have to fight over the house thing, though. my house is way cute.


p.s. on sg, people make replies to journal comments in the other person's journal. which makes it confusing for bystanders to read, but makes it so people on cold medication remember they were posting to someone.
yeah, i hope that made sense.
zombieelvis:
Well don't I just feel like a newbie.

mmmmmm.

yummy.

but why does my belly button bruise up so much afterwards? and can I get pregnant by typing on this thing?
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Are you naked? Are you Kate Bush? If so write. Please note: People who are not naked Kate Bush should not write.

I thank you. Now pray for me like wretch I am.

Kisses.xxxx.