Jim Carroll: Get the fuck out of my head
So last night had a disturbing dream. (yeah, big fucking surprise, no?) It was simple enough at the start: I was on a boat with my father, heading to some small island in like a lake or some shit to fish from. (weird alone - I haven't gone fishing since I was pretty damn young). We get to this island, get off the boat, set up and start fishing. At first, kind of in silence. I was whistling some tune, and I didn't recognize it. Then, my father starts talking. He starts listing the people in my life that I've been close with that have died. He says their name, a brief description of them, what they meant to me, and how they died. And the shit was accurate too. Really fucking creepy. From the woman I loved, to grandparents, People that died of old age to drug over doses, he covered all of them. It was like that fucking Jim Carroll song "People who died" or whatever, which I haven't heard in fucking years. But he was just calmly listing them, like he was reading a grocery list or something. Really fucking unsettling....I don't think he missed anyone either, which is creepy in its own right. (sadly, the list of people I've lost is long, and this dream took a while).
Now here is the really, really REALLY fucked up part that I am trying desperately to forget...he listed several folks close to me now, and the way that they died...these are people still alive in reality....Everyone of them, I'd ask him, "Holy shit.when??" and he would just say, "Oh, not long ago at all." He told me 4 people that are currently alive, and how they died. While I'm soaking this all into my head, suddenly, i'm no longer on the island fishing....
I'm in a barber shop, sitting in the chair, waiting for a shave. The barber is sharpening a straight razor to shave my neck with..and somehow, I know he's going to cut my throat and kill me, but I don't get up. He slowly walks over, and I kow its coming...He tips my head back, and as the razor get close, I jump from the sound of a gun shot, and in the mirror see blood pouring from my chest. I gasp, feeling the pain in my lungs; and wake up.
What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with my stupid brain??? I spend my fucking days laughing constantly..that seems to be all I do, or want to do, and this is my subconscious?? Fuck that shit.
So last night had a disturbing dream. (yeah, big fucking surprise, no?) It was simple enough at the start: I was on a boat with my father, heading to some small island in like a lake or some shit to fish from. (weird alone - I haven't gone fishing since I was pretty damn young). We get to this island, get off the boat, set up and start fishing. At first, kind of in silence. I was whistling some tune, and I didn't recognize it. Then, my father starts talking. He starts listing the people in my life that I've been close with that have died. He says their name, a brief description of them, what they meant to me, and how they died. And the shit was accurate too. Really fucking creepy. From the woman I loved, to grandparents, People that died of old age to drug over doses, he covered all of them. It was like that fucking Jim Carroll song "People who died" or whatever, which I haven't heard in fucking years. But he was just calmly listing them, like he was reading a grocery list or something. Really fucking unsettling....I don't think he missed anyone either, which is creepy in its own right. (sadly, the list of people I've lost is long, and this dream took a while).
Now here is the really, really REALLY fucked up part that I am trying desperately to forget...he listed several folks close to me now, and the way that they died...these are people still alive in reality....Everyone of them, I'd ask him, "Holy shit.when??" and he would just say, "Oh, not long ago at all." He told me 4 people that are currently alive, and how they died. While I'm soaking this all into my head, suddenly, i'm no longer on the island fishing....
I'm in a barber shop, sitting in the chair, waiting for a shave. The barber is sharpening a straight razor to shave my neck with..and somehow, I know he's going to cut my throat and kill me, but I don't get up. He slowly walks over, and I kow its coming...He tips my head back, and as the razor get close, I jump from the sound of a gun shot, and in the mirror see blood pouring from my chest. I gasp, feeling the pain in my lungs; and wake up.
What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with my stupid brain??? I spend my fucking days laughing constantly..that seems to be all I do, or want to do, and this is my subconscious?? Fuck that shit.
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on another note, your profile pic always makes me want to flash this giant, cheesy grin and give two thumbs up.