I think some parts of my views on feminism were a little... how do you say... misinterpreted.
I thought I emphasized it pretty well, but maybe I didn't use enough capslock and italics. Feminism isn't about raising women over men. It's not about degrading men or making them inferior, either. It's especially not about angry so-called "feminists" being annoyed when a man opens a door for them (which is, by the way, silly. And yes, it's only looking for something to argue about).
It's about equality everywhere, in every country, state, and community. It's about not reducing people OR the responsibilities they're expected to have as HUMAN BEINGS-- to the world, to each other, and to themselves. It's about NOT saying "That's just how the world is, and I'm not gonna change it". Just because the world IS one way doesn't mean it SHOULD be that way.
You know what would be great about gender equality? No one would call me a "stupid feminist" for holding the ideals I hold now-- because my ideals apply to everyone, male or female. Calling me a "feminist" doesn't mean I've put a sign on my door that says "GIRLS ONLY". It just means that before I can spread the ideals around, the notion of a "weaker sex" needs to be abolished and women need to be on equal footing with the men. Right now, we're not on equal footing, so I have to be a feminist. When we are on equal footing, you know what I'll be called?
Normal.
Like I said in the previous entry, I have no interest in making men and women the same. I'm not saying we should all be gender neutral and treated as if we think alike or have exactly the same capabilities. We're different, and that's great, but I don't think those differences should make males more powerful or respected than females, or vice-versa.
Men have said to me, "You wouldn't like it if things were equal, because then what would stop me from kicking your ass in a fight?" What I want to know is, what makes you think we'd be fighting? Also, why would I try to fight someone twice my size and weight? Even men don't do this. In boxing, we go to great lengths to insure that the fighters are of the same relative size, strength, and weight-- because we all know it would be unfair to pit a large man against a much smaller, lighter one. The larger person will naturally have the advantage. So why would a man fight a woman who is smaller than him? That wouldn't be equal OR fair, not because she is FEMALE, but because their sizes don't match up. If you want to fight women in a equal world, go ahead-- so long as she's as large and as skilled as you are. Otherwise, it's no fairer than fighting only men who you know to be smaller and weaker than you. In either case, that's called being a coward. It'd be cowardly if a large woman went picking on smaller men, too.
I'm not saying I'm equal to any man physically. I weigh about ninety pounds-- I know I can't win a wrestling match or a hole-digging competition. But what if a woman larger than me CAN? Shouldn't she be allowed to do it?
I'm not interested in being put on a pedestal and treated differently because I'm a woman. Whenever I hear the excuse "you wouldn't want equality", the person always seems to mean "You wouldn't want things to be fair and remain as they are now". I don't want to be equal in the sense that I can now have affairs without the social stigma of "slut" the way men do. I want to be equal in the sense that neither men nor women are cheating on anyone because it's wrong to do! I don't want to be equal in that I can now stifle my emotions and "take it like a man"-- I want to live in a world where NO ONE has to do this!
When men say "You don't want to be equal", they're still imagining the scenario in a "Man's World" where nothing has changed but the roles the actors are playing. That's absurd. I don't want to act like a man in some man's world. I want to act like myself in a world where everyone gets to act as their nature-- and not society-- demands. I'd like to no longer have to act the way societies have decided women should. I'd ALSO like to see MEN no longer having to act only in the way it's been determined they should. Woe to the sensitive male who is told he's "not manly enough" (by both men and women!) because he doesn't act macho enough or fit into the accepted male stereotypes the way other people think he should! It's not right, and it's harmful to everyone.
In conclusion, I don't want a "man's world". I don't want a "woman's world", either. I want a world where neither side has to bend to the made-up expectations of the other, so that we can all finally be free to do and think the way we want without the stigma of not being ENOUGH of what we already are-- male, or female, or however we identify ourselves.
I don't want to be free of gender. I just want to be free of gender expectations and gender limitations.
Why the hell is that so scary to people?
I thought I emphasized it pretty well, but maybe I didn't use enough capslock and italics. Feminism isn't about raising women over men. It's not about degrading men or making them inferior, either. It's especially not about angry so-called "feminists" being annoyed when a man opens a door for them (which is, by the way, silly. And yes, it's only looking for something to argue about).
It's about equality everywhere, in every country, state, and community. It's about not reducing people OR the responsibilities they're expected to have as HUMAN BEINGS-- to the world, to each other, and to themselves. It's about NOT saying "That's just how the world is, and I'm not gonna change it". Just because the world IS one way doesn't mean it SHOULD be that way.
You know what would be great about gender equality? No one would call me a "stupid feminist" for holding the ideals I hold now-- because my ideals apply to everyone, male or female. Calling me a "feminist" doesn't mean I've put a sign on my door that says "GIRLS ONLY". It just means that before I can spread the ideals around, the notion of a "weaker sex" needs to be abolished and women need to be on equal footing with the men. Right now, we're not on equal footing, so I have to be a feminist. When we are on equal footing, you know what I'll be called?
Normal.
Like I said in the previous entry, I have no interest in making men and women the same. I'm not saying we should all be gender neutral and treated as if we think alike or have exactly the same capabilities. We're different, and that's great, but I don't think those differences should make males more powerful or respected than females, or vice-versa.
Men have said to me, "You wouldn't like it if things were equal, because then what would stop me from kicking your ass in a fight?" What I want to know is, what makes you think we'd be fighting? Also, why would I try to fight someone twice my size and weight? Even men don't do this. In boxing, we go to great lengths to insure that the fighters are of the same relative size, strength, and weight-- because we all know it would be unfair to pit a large man against a much smaller, lighter one. The larger person will naturally have the advantage. So why would a man fight a woman who is smaller than him? That wouldn't be equal OR fair, not because she is FEMALE, but because their sizes don't match up. If you want to fight women in a equal world, go ahead-- so long as she's as large and as skilled as you are. Otherwise, it's no fairer than fighting only men who you know to be smaller and weaker than you. In either case, that's called being a coward. It'd be cowardly if a large woman went picking on smaller men, too.
I'm not saying I'm equal to any man physically. I weigh about ninety pounds-- I know I can't win a wrestling match or a hole-digging competition. But what if a woman larger than me CAN? Shouldn't she be allowed to do it?
I'm not interested in being put on a pedestal and treated differently because I'm a woman. Whenever I hear the excuse "you wouldn't want equality", the person always seems to mean "You wouldn't want things to be fair and remain as they are now". I don't want to be equal in the sense that I can now have affairs without the social stigma of "slut" the way men do. I want to be equal in the sense that neither men nor women are cheating on anyone because it's wrong to do! I don't want to be equal in that I can now stifle my emotions and "take it like a man"-- I want to live in a world where NO ONE has to do this!
When men say "You don't want to be equal", they're still imagining the scenario in a "Man's World" where nothing has changed but the roles the actors are playing. That's absurd. I don't want to act like a man in some man's world. I want to act like myself in a world where everyone gets to act as their nature-- and not society-- demands. I'd like to no longer have to act the way societies have decided women should. I'd ALSO like to see MEN no longer having to act only in the way it's been determined they should. Woe to the sensitive male who is told he's "not manly enough" (by both men and women!) because he doesn't act macho enough or fit into the accepted male stereotypes the way other people think he should! It's not right, and it's harmful to everyone.
In conclusion, I don't want a "man's world". I don't want a "woman's world", either. I want a world where neither side has to bend to the made-up expectations of the other, so that we can all finally be free to do and think the way we want without the stigma of not being ENOUGH of what we already are-- male, or female, or however we identify ourselves.
I don't want to be free of gender. I just want to be free of gender expectations and gender limitations.
Why the hell is that so scary to people?
From what I observe, as soon as we put a catagory on this argument we start to get backlash. As soon as I say "women" should be equal to "men" it gets uncomfortable. Or as soon as I say "senior citizens" and "recent high school grads" people will take sides. This is "us" or "them" thinking - when I can identify with a specific catagory and I will feel threatened and be defensive.
That is a point of the Muppets. "Peoples is peoples."
Injustice concerns me.
I *get* the fact that women are treated like objects - like non-persons. These are our mothers, sisters, wives and friends.
I think that this is a power issue. There is a belief that there is only so much power to go around and that men want to controll all of it. There s a feeling that to give others respect is to lose some of your own. This is a lie. There is no limit on power or respect in the universe. We all deserve it.