What a frustrating day! I had something happen last night that i can seem to get out of my head so maybe if i put it down here i can get it out!
I received an email yesterday from some guy i have never met. He saw my profile on Yahoo and decided to send me an email basically making fun of me for being a big girl.
He probly thought i would curl up in a corner and cry but i emailed him back to find out what his deal was. Now first off i have to say he is hot! Beautiful eyes, nice smile and a killer bod complete with 6 pack! But then i read what he has written in his profile and it is absolute shit!! All he did was complain about how girls online are nothing but sluts, cam whores and fakes who are just looking for some chump to hand over his credit card to them! I never filled out a profile to be rated on some website! But he thought i deserved it. We mailed back and forth for almost two hours last night cause i really wanted to know what his damage was! I told him i was proud of who i was and he wrote back asking me how i could be proud of being a "fattie" (his term, not mine!) I told him i was proud of who i was and that my size doesn't define me. He basically was a jerk and i left it at that but i couldn't stop think about things. My six does define me sometimes. The way i walk, act, hold myself, everything. Even down to some of the choices i make. I don't feel ashamed by that, but would i be a different person if i was small? Why does it matter so much to others?
I have plenty of friends who don't care how i look but i do have an acquintance who likes to hang out with me when its just with our friends, but it seems that everytime we go out in public,i am treated like the invisible girl and i can't help but feel its because of my size. I tell myself that i would be more confident and out going if i were smaller, but i can't seem to be able to make that happen in my life now! I know i will never be a thin chick. Its not like that will make all my problems go away.
My mind just seems to be reeling right now and i am not sure if i am making much sense.
Sorry if i am confusing everyone.
Its just been one of those days!
I received an email yesterday from some guy i have never met. He saw my profile on Yahoo and decided to send me an email basically making fun of me for being a big girl.
He probly thought i would curl up in a corner and cry but i emailed him back to find out what his deal was. Now first off i have to say he is hot! Beautiful eyes, nice smile and a killer bod complete with 6 pack! But then i read what he has written in his profile and it is absolute shit!! All he did was complain about how girls online are nothing but sluts, cam whores and fakes who are just looking for some chump to hand over his credit card to them! I never filled out a profile to be rated on some website! But he thought i deserved it. We mailed back and forth for almost two hours last night cause i really wanted to know what his damage was! I told him i was proud of who i was and he wrote back asking me how i could be proud of being a "fattie" (his term, not mine!) I told him i was proud of who i was and that my size doesn't define me. He basically was a jerk and i left it at that but i couldn't stop think about things. My six does define me sometimes. The way i walk, act, hold myself, everything. Even down to some of the choices i make. I don't feel ashamed by that, but would i be a different person if i was small? Why does it matter so much to others?
I have plenty of friends who don't care how i look but i do have an acquintance who likes to hang out with me when its just with our friends, but it seems that everytime we go out in public,i am treated like the invisible girl and i can't help but feel its because of my size. I tell myself that i would be more confident and out going if i were smaller, but i can't seem to be able to make that happen in my life now! I know i will never be a thin chick. Its not like that will make all my problems go away.
My mind just seems to be reeling right now and i am not sure if i am making much sense.
Sorry if i am confusing everyone.
Its just been one of those days!
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ANYWAYS......I think that we are finally going to try and have an SG gathering at our house in a couple of weeks and would like to invite the local crowd that lives near us. I am not sure how close you are to Oceanside, Camp Pendleton but if it is close we would love to meet you!
Have an awsome weekend