Coming back and seeing how much everything has changed really, truly depresses me. I miss the dirty, rundown old town. Compared to the new "commerce" driven city that has inhabited its remains. At least the old town had some character. You'd walk down the abandoned streets looking at the rundown shops and vacated buildings. It was truly a ghost town. The only life came from a few sparradic transients and the painted murals on the walls of broken buildings. One time I walked down the streets and remembered hearing someone playing a guitar- it was so silent that you could actually hear the noise a few blocks away in the middle of the city. My friend and I stood listening for a while and then continued on our way. The casinos were always kind of fun (a city in the middle of the bible belt and the only life there is is at a casino).
Mostly I think I miss a dear friend that was there from me when a best friend had abondoned me. I've been thinking of him a lot (not in the attracted, boyfriend kinda way). I remember roaming around the dead city wreaking havoc wherever possible. Blasting Exploited through his brokedown truck windows and yelling at the "innocent" jesus lovers. We made the dead town interesting. We'd stop by the river or park, have a sit and just listen to the stillness. Talk about music or life or anything. I miss my South African buddy.
These past few days have really shown me how much I don't want to be a part of the American housewife way. Getting married, having babies, and settling down. 1st of all, I NEVER want to get married. 2nd, I NEVER want to have a baby, literally have a baby, someday I may adopt. 3rd, I can never see myself settling down. I think I'm destined to be a nomad. I think that's part of the reason I love my new job so much.
All of my close friends are getting married and having babies. It's kinda a slap in the face- Kelly where and what are you doing?!? huH? NOTHING- you're not even going to school. You've got a boyfriend of about 2 years now, ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY HIM? Yeah, I feel like a loser but at least I can maintain MY FREEDOM!!! I never want to be tied down. I want to be able to jet whenever I want to. To get away- to start again if I so desire. FUCK THIS "AMERICAN WAY".
Mostly I think I miss a dear friend that was there from me when a best friend had abondoned me. I've been thinking of him a lot (not in the attracted, boyfriend kinda way). I remember roaming around the dead city wreaking havoc wherever possible. Blasting Exploited through his brokedown truck windows and yelling at the "innocent" jesus lovers. We made the dead town interesting. We'd stop by the river or park, have a sit and just listen to the stillness. Talk about music or life or anything. I miss my South African buddy.
These past few days have really shown me how much I don't want to be a part of the American housewife way. Getting married, having babies, and settling down. 1st of all, I NEVER want to get married. 2nd, I NEVER want to have a baby, literally have a baby, someday I may adopt. 3rd, I can never see myself settling down. I think I'm destined to be a nomad. I think that's part of the reason I love my new job so much.
All of my close friends are getting married and having babies. It's kinda a slap in the face- Kelly where and what are you doing?!? huH? NOTHING- you're not even going to school. You've got a boyfriend of about 2 years now, ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY HIM? Yeah, I feel like a loser but at least I can maintain MY FREEDOM!!! I never want to be tied down. I want to be able to jet whenever I want to. To get away- to start again if I so desire. FUCK THIS "AMERICAN WAY".
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Curiously, I was asked by three people the other day why exactly I do not have a baby yet. I was rather estranged by that...