What am I doing wrong?
Sometimes I wonder if there's a gathering somewhere, where they (whoever "they" are) sit and say "Z is almost there, but not quite. " I can feel it. I KNOW I have to be getting close. While I watch my sets here flounder, I am flourishing in the outside modeling world. The % on my sets are not the best, but you don't have to go far in the comments before you see "How are you not pink yet? Why are is your voting % so low?" And it's honestly breaking me.
I'm the type of woman who sets her sights on something, and then dives in head first and grabs it by the balls. This though... It's not a matter of self esteem. All you have to do is talk with me for one second to see how comfortable I am in my own skin. It's more a matter of competition. Am I not cut-throat enough? Would it help to drive halfway across the country and hire a staff photographer? Is it just a matter of stomping out my Shrinking Violet nature and putting myself out there more? I have a feeling it's the latter.
I probably wouldn't post this if I didn't presume most (if not all) hopefuls hadn't gone through it at one point or another, but after putting out 4 sets, and another in MR in November, I'm the teensiest bit discouraged/confused. So I'm calling on you, trusty blog readers, and even more so on the "Not For Me"-ers. Tell me how I can improve. I am shooting a set tomorrow, and I'd love to blow your motherfucking minds.
xoxo
zephi
