Men suck. I have officially confirmed this with two back to back heartbreaks. Abuse and then used.I swear that The Little Mermaid will never convince me to place my heart in the jaws of a shark again. This feeling sucks! I am trying to find makeup remover to cover up this huge sign on my forehead that somehow attracts man leeches. In reality,the second one had a push from the left over anger from the first one and that sucks. I'm too hard on myself though. I dated a 20 year old and I'm about to be 25, there was a big gap in what life throws at you in that time span. I tried to teach him some things,but alas,I was not able to protect him from the world. Perhaps I've just grown slightly bitter from that other past abusive bullshit that I wanted to keep him away from all pain. He had slight palsy,but it wasn't much. He was still human and super cute,not to mention killer in the sack. I loved him, just didn't know how to go back in time when I was that age and try to understand. He thought that I hated people. I live in a small town, and so most of these people are absolutely nuts. Bible belt is a strange place. People either want something from you or they care about the most insignificant things like gossip. I know how to spot certain people. It isn't that I don't like everyone,it's that I can read people well and know if I'd like that person or not usually within the first few seconds. Hell,I'm in customer service,they teach you how to do that shit. Speaking of there was this 80 year old woman who whispered that we were doing a damn good job as she was making a whisper gesture like "no one can hear me but I know they can" thing lol and she told me that I need a baret to go with my uniform. I thought it was absolutely adorable. Old people love me for some reason. There was an 80 something year old man the other week who was talking about nude beaches to me. haha I find old people quite amusing,and maybe it's because they don't give a damn anymore that they like me. Anyways,back to the heartbreak...I'm going to be working on myself and bettering only myself because I do not have anymore time to waste on some fairy tale,hopeless romantic love that I have daydreamed in my head. I'm taking classes at the community college and I'm a week behind on laundry and homework. I've decided that tomorrow will be the day when I put all this moaning and groaning to the side...it's really starting to get on my nerves and I know all of my friends and family are probably sick of listening to me. It's been a week, shouldn't I have accepted this by now? I'm going to accept it tomorrow,tomorrow is the day. Broken hearts are stupid. Look at world, Heather and Ramona the Chiweenie are about to punch life in it's face and get some shit done in the single rhelm! My dog is always single. Ew,that sounded weird. Whatever, you were suppost to picture a dog and a girl in badass Wonderwoman outfits. I'm thinking that an absolute hault to the sad music has to be one of the first things to help. I need to use this gym membership since I'm already paying for it. Plus, I can take some frustration out on a punching bag and imagine a few faces. Healthy outlets are good. I feel more strange now...like I'm not sure what to do without him...I was with and lived with him for over a year. Time will heal my wounds, it's patience that I need to grow to deal with. I hate angry and sad... I don't handle them well. I guess that's why I got this blog and decided to look at pretty girls as a bonus. 2 birds,1 stone. Anyways, goodnight all. & may jerks never be allowed to steal any of your hearts to feed alligators!!! That made me feel better
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a big hug! muaaaa