zenlunatic

i dont want to work.......

yarrr....i feel like shit after a twelve hour day in a kitchen thats 130 degrees......and i got tricked into doing two more this week.....at least ill be able to finish my chest piece and have some money for good booze........but god damn, i feel rough as shit.......my friend from wilmington called me today and said shes having a big party at the end of august,...
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im happy, but tired.......oh well

and i have a two hour break from work......should i drink a beer or take a nap?? lifes decisions are incredibly hard.........

i decided to drink a beer and now i dont want to go back to work......

i think i just got back together with my ex girlfriend.......i think thats good....im not really sure though......she loves me and i think i love her......i feel really bad asking a bunch of strangers on the internet what i should do.......so, what the fuck should i do??

i dont remember leaving the bar last night.......but i kinda remember the party we went to, and watching the boondocks at my boy steves house......anyway, i woke up in my room and had made a bed out of a shoping cart.......what the fuck right.......the new medication they gave me has helped a whole lot with the panic attacks......so everythings fine and dandy.......

how do they get the onions diced so small at mcdonalds?? thats my new crack......i went to the doctor today and she gave me klonopin and said that should make me feel better.....i hope so, cause im going to be poor as fuck with all the time i took off work......thanks for everyones support and shit......

i went to the emergency room last night to get a cat scat......the kept me there forever....and they had my sitting next to this guy that was going to some psychiatric place and he kept looking at me like he was gonna kill me......scary shit.....the hospital people were nice though......now i go into my regular doctor to see why im still having panic attacks and...
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you know that part in saw 2 where that lady gets thrown into the pit of needles?? that would suck ass.....i hope that never happens to me.......

drinking my self to sleep again tonight......rest in peace s and z buttons on my computer......thanks for everyone being concerned about the panic attacks......im sure ill get through it.......

i keep having panic attacks.......my right shakes alot, i feel light headed, my pulse jumps up, and i start to hyperventilate......its made me miss work two days this week already, and it scares the shit out of the people who see it.....i want to be normal again......