zenfinite

Let me begin by taking a deep breath. *inhale-exhale*

My girlfriend of seven years broke up with me last Saturday. We had been having problems, she was real distant for a couple months. Recently she told me she needed some "time apart" and last Saturday was three weeks of apart time. I called her up on my cell phone, and she dumped me over the phone. Seven friggin years and I don't even get the dignity of her telling me to my face. Her main reason? "I don't think your goals for the future match mine." I'll need to translate for you all, since you aren't privy to the entire relationship.

"You don't make enough money for me."

Yup it's like that. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not rich. But I live by myself, own my own car, have nice stuff. She lives with her mom, goes to school, and works 15 hours a week. Never wanted to move in with me, and had a real tough time with the concept that a couple is two people working together. I can say that her reason was real enough to her. She never let logic get in the way of any of her reasons tho.

So, she makes no sense and is a hypocrite, I think I've established this. Problem is I've never loved anyone as much as I love her. I think the worst part, at least so far, is the fact that she won't talk to me. After the phone call Saturday, I dropped off her stuff Sunday night, she wasn't home. She gave me my stuff Wednesday in a plastic bag, then shut the door in my face. All her talk about how much she loved me, I was her best friend, etc, and I get shut out like some criminal. Not understanding is the worst I think. If I gotta get dumped, hey, I guess that's what's gotta happen. But at least tell me the truth. After all I've done for her over seven years, again, you think I'd get at least that much.

The feeling that I've wasted much of my life is overwhelming too. Bought her an engagement ring that she gave back to me and everything. I thought she was gonna be it for me. And now I'm back to square one. Maybe I've been fooling myself the past few years, but dammit, to eat it like this, it's just not right.

So here I sit. Alone for the first time in a very, very long time. Alone with my thoughts. No worries intrepid readers! I know life goes on. I know I'll survive, and God willing, meet another woman who I'll love just as much, maybe even more. The resiliency of the human soul has amazed mankind since our inception.

Any single women in the Philly area interested in a staggeringly intelligent, ruggedly handsome, hysterically funny, modest guy? Lemme know.

Zen