I know, I know; I blow monkeys.
And I do.
But in my defense, life has been busy as hell. Intersperse the busy with hell with a wee bit of catastrophic weather calamity and you'll get week that was my life.
Last weekend we had a weather meltdown in my area that made national new. A wicked storm that literally dropped baseball-sized hail.
Baseball.
Not dime.
Not quarter.
Not golf ball.
Not tennis.
Base.
Base. Ball.
Baseball.
It was fucking ridiculous.
How ridiculous?
Here, let me show you my ladies car:
And this was the hail in the front yard TWO hours after the storm. In 70-degree weather. Raining. It was still this size after that.
Sigh.
The amount of cars damaged is in the thousands so insurance companies are scrambling teams to assess. We have one set up in a supermarket parking lot next to us but its still another week until the adjusters will look at it. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to separate her rental cars tires from its wheels. It's a fast little Mazda, what can I say?
Okay, since the 4th was Star Wars day, I need to do my best with an all new, all powerful, all impressive STAR WARS SUNDAY!
Are you with me, team?
Are you?
Are you?
Are YOU?
Excellent, lets begin.
But first, let me pull up my pants.
Again.
Done.
And go!
Oh, hi Carrie, look at you.
Wait, MORE sexy time? Done.
Still MORE sexy? I'm on it.
"Oh Scotty, come on now, how about some serious Star Wars pics? Enough of your fanboy drool blabbery!"
And to this I say ...
What the fuck is "blabbery"?
Blubbery I understand:
But not blabbery.
By the way, since I needed to explain myself, I NEED this (see how I work the needy angle?):
And now for a little Star Wars logical progression:
And yet more logical progression, logically:
Wasn't I attempting to segue way into a seriously bad-ass Star Wars pic? Oh, why yes, yes I was:
"But, Scotty, we want you to go back to lewd"? Roger that.
Darth Talon? Sure.
Okay, my work is done here. I really want to give in to the Dark Side and go have a beer, but it's only 7:06am here. I could probably have just onnnnnnne and then go back to bed for a couple of hours. Hmmmm ...
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
And I do.
But in my defense, life has been busy as hell. Intersperse the busy with hell with a wee bit of catastrophic weather calamity and you'll get week that was my life.
Last weekend we had a weather meltdown in my area that made national new. A wicked storm that literally dropped baseball-sized hail.
Baseball.
Not dime.
Not quarter.
Not golf ball.
Not tennis.
Base.
Base. Ball.
Baseball.
It was fucking ridiculous.
How ridiculous?
Here, let me show you my ladies car:
And this was the hail in the front yard TWO hours after the storm. In 70-degree weather. Raining. It was still this size after that.
Sigh.
The amount of cars damaged is in the thousands so insurance companies are scrambling teams to assess. We have one set up in a supermarket parking lot next to us but its still another week until the adjusters will look at it. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to separate her rental cars tires from its wheels. It's a fast little Mazda, what can I say?
Okay, since the 4th was Star Wars day, I need to do my best with an all new, all powerful, all impressive STAR WARS SUNDAY!
Are you with me, team?
Are you?
Are you?
Are YOU?
Excellent, lets begin.
But first, let me pull up my pants.
Again.
Done.
And go!
Oh, hi Carrie, look at you.
Wait, MORE sexy time? Done.
Still MORE sexy? I'm on it.
"Oh Scotty, come on now, how about some serious Star Wars pics? Enough of your fanboy drool blabbery!"
And to this I say ...
What the fuck is "blabbery"?
Blubbery I understand:
But not blabbery.
By the way, since I needed to explain myself, I NEED this (see how I work the needy angle?):
And now for a little Star Wars logical progression:
And yet more logical progression, logically:
Wasn't I attempting to segue way into a seriously bad-ass Star Wars pic? Oh, why yes, yes I was:
"But, Scotty, we want you to go back to lewd"? Roger that.
Darth Talon? Sure.
Okay, my work is done here. I really want to give in to the Dark Side and go have a beer, but it's only 7:06am here. I could probably have just onnnnnnne and then go back to bed for a couple of hours. Hmmmm ...
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
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Happy birthday,
punk!