zenexistence

Holy flying shit with bananas on top, I can finally post PICS!!

Okay, lets to a dry test-run and start of with a video, maybe?



YEEEAH! Someone please send me a rock and roll falcon, STAT. I will give you (a) my soul or (2) my first born. If you're pretty I'll give you (c) my firstborn soul.

Okay, full speed ahead.
So, I'm going to drop a little profound on you.
Ready?
Careful, don't let it get in your eyes, it'll burn.
Annnnnd ...

Today is last week

No, seriously, it is. See, I was SUPPOSED to have a fancy-nancy uber-duber [uber-duber sounds like a word you'd use while drooling] update last week but our beloved SG site was all sorts of wonky bonkers so I couldn't get on at all.
Looongest days of my life.
Except for that day when I had two get four wisdom teeth and two molars yanked.
Anyway, moving on.
Or that day in fifth grade where I had to meet the bully out behind the portables at 4pm to get my ass kicked.
Moving on.
Or that time I had to have sex with the entire Latvian women's gymnastics team.
Moving on.
Just kidding.
I never got beat up by a bully.
Back to the SG site being wonky bonkers; have you ever seen someone go through withdrawals?
Have you?
Have you?
Haaave you?
HAVEYOU?!?!
If you have I ... well , actually I really don't care BUT, for the record, I was going through these very withdrawals and I think that you should care due to the plethora of nonsense I had/have to share, the amount of which borders on astronomical..
By the way, I've always want to spell astronomical with two S's. ala ASStronomical. And then dance around the room after doing so.
Moving on, moving on, moving damn on.

Wait, wait, you want a little Natalie Portman rapping? Goodness gracious, lil' gippers, you need but ask:


So what have you been doing, Scotty? Where have you been. Scotty? Why have you not been showering [ew, dirty] us with the very nuggets of stupidity we all so [unknowingly] need? See, people -- I HEAR your thoughts!
So allow me to respond:

If you follow my blog at all [poor bastards] you'll know that I relocated to St Louis about two and a half weeks ago. A fair amount of this time has been spent acclimating to my new surroundings, learning what it is like to again live with wonderful/loving/CLEAN people, getting my ass kicked at polo [STL polo is SO much more physical -- can I get a "hella hallelujah yes!"?] job hunting and, finally, building this:



It's a 12' x 8' climbing wall in my garage. We're looking at a 25ish-degree wall, a 18ish-degree wall and a flat-ish (not flattus!) wall. It will also have another 2' x 1' section above the walk-in door that will transition to another 8' x 4' section on the opposite wall, that's for next week though. We'll also use the joists on the ceiling for a bunch of jug holds to get as many dimensions as possible out of this garage, this man-cave-o'-mine.
Fuck you, Midwestern Winter, I'm ready for you.
Just set up the surround sound system yesterday and brought in the TV so all I need is a blu-ray player, a couple of space heaters, the quintessential fugly couch and then I'm golden.
Like Johnny.
We need to do it for Johnny.
Sorry, back on course.
I could always just have done this throughout my house:


I have a shit-ton [metric, of course] of stupid pictures not concerning my life to share but I think I'll save that average silliness for tomorrow or later. I'm mostly going to just focus on things that had happened right before and directly after I moved here:

Might want to sit down for this dump.
Ew.
Of PICTURES.
You're gross.


First off, I decided to move out of Florida:
Huzzah!

This necessitated a cake for my farewell party at work. I am greatly loved, you see:


I arrived in St Louis happy. And hungry:


The first thing I did was sample the local cuisine:
It sucks, just so you know.

Then I had to check out the institutes of higher learning:
Apparently, some things need to be taught.

Then I had to try sample the local cuisine yet again, although this time it was in solid form and not liquid form:
This was my view from a booth a Blueberry Hill. It's where Chuck Berry plays, once a month.
This was not that night.
The buffalo is not Chuck Berry.
The burgers are to die for.

Of course, good dinner necessitates [hey, there's that word again] a good dessert, so:


Now, to meet the family:

This is my Toothless, it's pronounced Toof-liss


And then we have Miss Star:
Miss Star loves me utterly. This may be due to the fact that I feed her occasional niblets of my chicken.

Then we have Merlin. I refuse to call him Merlin, he is simply Merle.
Merle is, at heart, a huge coward and Bones constantly kicks his ass. This has as led me to teaching Bones what the term "cat-apault" means, as in; cat smacks Merle, cat flies out of room.

Finally, we have Bones. He is terribly stressed can't sleep a wink:



Spent time at the Arts Museum:


Went to The Mills Mall, where the St Louis Blues [hockey, you heathen fuckers!] practice. Look at the wee lil' knobber on the ice! He was like three or four years old:


St Louis loves their teams. This is a set of scrubs I saw. I will buy them:


Back to rock climbing; I went to a local camping store to check out their rock climbing supplies. I found this:
Apparently inter-species sex is encouraged here. I expected that to be more of an Arkansas thing, really. Who knew?

They just built this epic-gottdamn-place a couple of miles from my house:
Between my garage and here I have all the climbing I can handle this winter when it's too cold to climb outside. Like I said prior, Suck it Midwestern Winter!


Okay, just a few more things before I go.
This is a text I received last week looking for Kelly. I'd like to think I was instrumental in providing relevant information:


Here are the temps for yesterday through next Tuesday:
That's a FIFTY degree difference in five days from high to low. I love you, chaos.

This is my punk rock garden gnome, Phred. I bought him all plain-like a decade ago and painted him myself. He had been lost for 5-6 years after some move or other but was discovered when I unpacked all my belongings here:


Last but definitely not least, here is a lil' family photo:


Off to go job hunt, blech.

Eye<3ewe,
Scotty

PS -- You just KNEW I couldn't go this whole blog without posting a stupid picture, didn't you?? Oh, ewe are so clever.