zenexistence

Nannerpuss, because every day needs to start out with this song. I have a completely different song to end the day with but I'm not sharing that until the end, so be prepared.

This weekend was a cornucopia of bartending, beer, renn faire, kilts and dirt. I'm not sure in what order, nor do I think that the order particularly matters, so lets just leave it at that.
Wait, did I say kilts?
Yes, yes, I did.
I wore one all weekend and I kinda loved it. Unbifurcated mens garments for the win!



I made more money Saturday than I did in the last three days of tending bar combined so that's pretty thrilling. The fact that I'm having to save all of this cash for my impending surgery? Not so thrilling. I really should just be grateful that the timing lends itself to providing with the extra money but, but, but ... I wanted to travel with this money.
I'm still trying to figure out how much the kilt played into this maximized tipping equation ...



Five things about me:

(1) I always read magazines back to front. It's a sick compulsion that I cannot shed. DON'TJUDGEME!

(2) I weighed 2 pounds at birth and was two months premature. This MAY account as to why I'm always at least twenty minutes early to anything I attend.

(3) I'm obsessed with bread. Even if I make a sandwich there's a good chance I'll also have an extra slice on the side to eat. When I was a kid and we ran out of hamburger buns I would always volunteer to eat my burger with bread, then I would double it up so that there were two slices per side. Half the reason I ate a Bic Mac as a child was because it had that extra piece o' bun in the middle.

(4) My first girlfriend's name was Amelia. She was about as attractive as her name. We never even made out, she broke up with me for a younger guy. I was in eighth grade.

(5) My nickname amongst close friends is Pikey because I tend to talk quite fast (which can be pretty stellar if excited) and if you add the mix of alcohol to this it can be a downright blistering and somewhat difficult to follow. I used to have friends that would totally translate me to other people.
When I was sewing a lot I was thinking of opening up an online messenger bag company called "Pikey on a Bikey".



Wait, you want some Lord of the Rings nerd humor, you say?? All you had to do was ask ...



MORE(dor)!



I heard from two different ladies this weekend that I had a very handsome profile. I say this not to inflate my own ego but because I always found my face odd. It was incredibly nice to hear such generous words from people and you can be damn sure I bought them their drinks. And before you pessimistic assholes say/think, "They were playing you for drinks, sucka" allow me to assure you that I never get played for drinks. Nossir. It was just heartwarming to hear pleasant words from random strangers.
The fact that I helped get them inebriated notwithstanding. It made my black little heart happy and restored [briefly] my faith in human nature.





I've been going through a lonely streak as of late. I'm surrounded more than ever by great acquaintances and a fair share that I would even call friends but sometimes after i get out from behind the bar and am alone again all I feel is ... alone. Part of this may be due in fact that I tend to shy away from social gatherings. My entire day at work IS a social gathering, so the time afterward I often seek solace in solitude ... whiiiiich makes me lonely.
Hi, I'm a retard.
I wish I was a superhero.



I was a superhero, nothing would bother or hurt me and I could always holla ...



And if I were to have a sidekick, I would have this fella ...



Back to this weekend; I had a ball with the kids. i love the kisd at Renn Faire. I love the lil daughters the best in their little princess outfits. Sigh. I sometimes think I would make a wonderful father. With that said, I would hope never to produce this face from my child ...



I would dress her up and she would be fabulous.



And I know how unhealthy it is but I would take her to McDonald's and we would have Happy Meals together and I would give her my toy, because that what a proper Dad does ...



And I would love her dearly, like no other. And, of course, I would not let her date until she was 31.



A'ight, I'm off to go eat fishes



OH! Here's my closing song:



Eye<3ewe,
Scotty