zenexistence

Here, I would like you to have a picture of my nipple:



And my mug [do not try to drink hawt cawfee out of this]:



And my arm:



You'll be excited to know, because I know I sure as hell was, that these three sites have a high chance of having skin cancer. I fall into that derishus trifecta of pale, freckled and blue-eyed [although, technically they're gray] which genetically lends itself to a higher risk for skin cancer due to the reduced melanin count in our epidermal layers; less melanin, less protection from the sun's UV rays.
Hu-damn-zah.
So I got to strip down to the ole' boxers and have a lady doctor and her reall-damn-cute [of course she had to be cute] assistant scrutinize me with fingers and a high-wattage bright light [don't feed me after midnight].
Oh and after the whole body exterior scan is done they then check inside the ole' boxers.
Aw yeah -- that was a treat.
They scalpeled epidermal samples from the bridge of my nose, mid left forearm and an area about 5mm below my right nipple. Luckily they shoved minute amounts of local anesthetic via needles into my flesh prior so the only discomfort felt was about thirty minutes post-procedure and even that wasn't anything to complain about.
The wearing of the bandaid on my nose? Well, that's truly a reason to complain.
I look like a dick.
And the bandaid below the nipple?
What am I, Morrissey?
Although he wore it over his nipple as a sign of asexuality or humping Austrian yaks or something, I don't fully recall
As a result, my afternoon has been reduced to staring moodily at the TV, cleaning up cat pee and making sweet oral love to:



I've had Bladerunner on repeat. I love the music and it fits my current mood.



Even though I'm a bit moody this is something that I've been focusing on:



Which naturally lends itself to this:



I'm not quite sure how well an obssessive urge to kiss lends itself to a Mum-zombie kissing her wee-zombie but the picture is just too frackin' awesome NOT to show so there it is.



It's interesting how long it takes you to notice obvious things. The above idea took me a while, the below one took me even longer. obviously:



Anyway, the results of the biopsy take about a week to come in and as the doctor and I parted she mentioned, "Well Scotty, we'll give you call if anything turns up we need to be concerned about. If you don't hear from us then you're in the clear." To which I responded, 'Excellent. Hey, Doc? No offense intended but I hope I never hear from you ever again."
I thought I was witty because shes never hear THAT one before.
She said, "Oh, no, we'll see you on your next annual visit."
And I responded, "I hate you."

I'm tired and minutely sore so I'm going to go stare at something interesting for a while.

Here:











Oh, send me a sympathy-beer in the mail, please.

<3 ye,
Scotty