So... People on Facebook (who are supposed to be my friends) are telling me I need to "get over it" with my ex. Really? It's only been three months since she left. Three fucking months and you're telling me I need to get over it??? Have you ever been in a divorce? If you had then you wouldn't say things like that. I will "get over it." Eventually. But in my time; not yours.
I don't know why she left after 8 years of being together. It doesn't really matter. I'm not perfect and I am sure there were issues that I have that she could not deal with. But she didn't want to talk about them. She refused to get counseling. She just left. There was no closure because she never told me why she didn't want to be with me.
In some ways a divorce is worse than death. When a loved one passes away there is closure. I know. Both my parents and my cousin are gone. And it was tough losing them. But in a divorce the spouse is still alive. No matter what the reason there really is no closure. I know that may sound morbid.
This was my third divorce. There won't be a fourth. It will be a very long time before I am able to even trust anyone enough to begin another relationship. My real friends tell me I was emotionally abused. I know that doesn't sound very manly but I think they are right. She kept telling me the marriage was okay; we were okay; she still loved me. She wanted me in her life. And all the time she was planning on leaving me for about two years. Without hurting me!! Really?? How does that work?? I have scars that cannot be seen. They need time to heal. Maybe she found someone else; maybe she just got tired of being married to me. I'll never know the reason. Looking back I certainly saw all the "hints" she gave that the marriage was over. But I didn't put them all together until just recently. I wanted to believe we were okay. I wanted to believe the marriage was okay. I was holding on to hope.
So... If you don't have anything encouraging or supporting to say then just shut the fuck up!
Didn't mean to rant all this much. But it is my blog. So I can say what I want.
I don't know why she left after 8 years of being together. It doesn't really matter. I'm not perfect and I am sure there were issues that I have that she could not deal with. But she didn't want to talk about them. She refused to get counseling. She just left. There was no closure because she never told me why she didn't want to be with me.
In some ways a divorce is worse than death. When a loved one passes away there is closure. I know. Both my parents and my cousin are gone. And it was tough losing them. But in a divorce the spouse is still alive. No matter what the reason there really is no closure. I know that may sound morbid.
This was my third divorce. There won't be a fourth. It will be a very long time before I am able to even trust anyone enough to begin another relationship. My real friends tell me I was emotionally abused. I know that doesn't sound very manly but I think they are right. She kept telling me the marriage was okay; we were okay; she still loved me. She wanted me in her life. And all the time she was planning on leaving me for about two years. Without hurting me!! Really?? How does that work?? I have scars that cannot be seen. They need time to heal. Maybe she found someone else; maybe she just got tired of being married to me. I'll never know the reason. Looking back I certainly saw all the "hints" she gave that the marriage was over. But I didn't put them all together until just recently. I wanted to believe we were okay. I wanted to believe the marriage was okay. I was holding on to hope.
So... If you don't have anything encouraging or supporting to say then just shut the fuck up!
Didn't mean to rant all this much. But it is my blog. So I can say what I want.
Always glad to hear from someone who has been through this. I appreciate you sharing.
Thanks again.