it's broken
this time fixing it seems stupid
I can't undo the done
I can always imagine a better tomorrow
but today I am stuck
addicted to getting off
feed the now
taste the pleasures
that keep the real far from home
I am hungry,
insatiablely thirsting
wanting
needing
pleading for pleasing
another bite, just might make it go away
for now for sure, but in five minutes, five seconds
I'll need another
the whole
the hole so vast so thick and empty
I can fill it for a moment
or is that just blocking the view
Give me some food,
my drug
my lust
my dopamine fix
Cheese on something
makes it feel better
chocolate sweetness
my brain says thank you
then it says
how stupid can you get
feeding this hole so vast
and overwhelming
you'll always be hungry
wanting and striving
to satisfy an urge
you don't understand.
It's not the comfort of a woman or a man
that will release my pain
I'll turn that into lust
and into wanting and fucking
I'll wrap it in love
convinced by ego
that it's what I've always wanted
masturbate about it
fantasize to justify
and rationalize the wanting
hungry and insatiable
lusting and unquenchable
restless and unstoppable
I want it all, more and more
my mouth barely containing
the last bite, here comes another
I'll shit it out
disgusted with myself
I'll mope and eat some more
abuse myself with words of hate
then bandaid the ouch
with a few ounces of cake
I cannot contain this pain
it hurts like being torn from the womb
premature and without explanation.
I've been told I'll find out
when I sit without
taking and asking
insatiate my desire
deny my need
sit and wait
it will come
when I stop wanting
stop needing to know
because I am told that wanting and needing
mask the feeling
of knowing how vast
that whole really is
this time fixing it seems stupid
I can't undo the done
I can always imagine a better tomorrow
but today I am stuck
addicted to getting off
feed the now
taste the pleasures
that keep the real far from home
I am hungry,
insatiablely thirsting
wanting
needing
pleading for pleasing
another bite, just might make it go away
for now for sure, but in five minutes, five seconds
I'll need another
the whole
the hole so vast so thick and empty
I can fill it for a moment
or is that just blocking the view
Give me some food,
my drug
my lust
my dopamine fix
Cheese on something
makes it feel better
chocolate sweetness
my brain says thank you
then it says
how stupid can you get
feeding this hole so vast
and overwhelming
you'll always be hungry
wanting and striving
to satisfy an urge
you don't understand.
It's not the comfort of a woman or a man
that will release my pain
I'll turn that into lust
and into wanting and fucking
I'll wrap it in love
convinced by ego
that it's what I've always wanted
masturbate about it
fantasize to justify
and rationalize the wanting
hungry and insatiable
lusting and unquenchable
restless and unstoppable
I want it all, more and more
my mouth barely containing
the last bite, here comes another
I'll shit it out
disgusted with myself
I'll mope and eat some more
abuse myself with words of hate
then bandaid the ouch
with a few ounces of cake
I cannot contain this pain
it hurts like being torn from the womb
premature and without explanation.
I've been told I'll find out
when I sit without
taking and asking
insatiate my desire
deny my need
sit and wait
it will come
when I stop wanting
stop needing to know
because I am told that wanting and needing
mask the feeling
of knowing how vast
that whole really is
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
That kinda touched on a few things, what you wrote up there. I'm gonna have to reread it and think some more. (I wish I still wrote.)
In re: music . . . Yeah Yeah Yeahs, that's definitely part of what I meant in my music tastes! By "grrl rock" I suppose I mean stuff like Sleater-Kinney, Le Tigre, Yeah Yeah Yeahs . . . (*thinking*) . . . Etc. I haven't gotten into PJ Harvey that much though; not sure why. I have some of her stuff but I haven't gotten that into it. I keep it around, though, because I keep feeling like I'm going to hit it one night while my playlist is on "shuffle" and it'll be just perfect, you know?
Aside from the "grrl rock" I'm a big fan of folkish type stuff: Ani DiFranco, Dar Williams, The Mountain Goats, Brenda Weiler . . . Just today discovered Haley Bonar . . .
And I have a huge soft spot for pianos, particularly the "piano girls"--hahaha--Tori Amos (at least, until this last one, *tear*), Fiona Apple, Regina Spektor . . . And Ben Folds, minus the girl part.
What's PJ Harvey's best album, do you think? Which one should I pay most attention to first, in other words?
[Edited on Apr 19, 2006 5:30PM]