zef

"uhoh, who want's to die?"

So I finally called Drave Suicide tonight. She's a sweet and funny girl. I found her slacking off at work. It was a great to put a voice to face. She mentioned the above Elmo related CNN story to me. I doubt they'll have to recall the product as they clearly tell you what it's supposed to say vs. what it sounds like it says, so it's awfully hard not to hear the "correct" words after they tell you what it "says". That was good for a laugh anyway, especially the mother who found it all disturbing. It's not like an episode of Barney suddenly started teaching kids how to shoot up mommie's stash of herion. Actually I laughed for a good while.

So busy ass motherfucker, that's me. I sabotaged making money on a web designing job because I didn't have the time to do it so I upped my quote , which the client refused. At first I was pissed that I had already spent eight hours on their site, but then I felt relief that I wasn't going to have to work on their site when I really didn't want to do so. School comes first from now on.

I totally love drawing. Every class I learn something I didn't know before, things that should I apply them will make for a much more interesting coherent works. I am really leary about refering to it as "art" because of how uppity people get about the word "art" and whether or not someone is qualified to call themselves an artist. So I say what I do, I write, I draw, I paint, i sculpt, I play with myself. I might even play with you if you ask nicely and I am in the mood.

But I am beginning to comprehend why my friends who have fine art desgrees are such "Art snobs". You don't really know anything about "art",as school of thought, until you've been schooled in thought. It's not like someone took an idea that had meant one thing then created a whole conceptual framework around it. Art is that conceptual framework. what if I become one of those people, EWWWW!

So I had to do my first class critque in my Elements of Design course. I had written out all this interesting stuff to say, but I couldn't get myself to say because I was more nervous than I thought I would be and because i didn't want to sound pretentious talking about John Coltrane's linear notes for the Album OM, where he talks about the benefit of listening to seemingly "noisy" or dischordant sounds. That listening to this non-familiar or even "harsh" sounding actually opens and creates new pathways in the brain, which increases our ability to percieve things from a new more broadened perspective. Not that I succedded in my efforts to make my project "mentally transcendental", but talking about it in front of class like that was just too strangley pretenious..

During my presentation I slipped, saying, "thanks to a suggestion from our LOVELY instructor" which got a slight awkward grin from her ( and she is cute, but she is also married and did I mention pregnant?). In my notes I wrote "wonderful instructor"; a little freudian slip? Consciousness expressing subconconsious desires. But she and I did talk after class for a bit. It was a good conversation, too.

Anyway, Monkey tits.

I need to find something to do on the weekends. I am so tired of being stuck in Laurinburg.