I've been in a daze for months now. I thought I was waking up but now I just realized that I ran off the road headfirst into a tree. What the fuck. Anyone got any ideas as to how to wake myself the fuck up? 
addendum: the tree is a metaphor, sorry. A tree as in I've come to a sudden stop in progress,
I am not severly depressed or anything. I am just wanting make use of all this mindfulness and meditation stuff that I can't seem to keep in practice. I want to oust the negativity because your mind is a processes what you put into it. But I am realizing that a layer of positivity over a ball of negativity is a patch and not the fix.
addendum: the tree is a metaphor, sorry. A tree as in I've come to a sudden stop in progress,
I am not severly depressed or anything. I am just wanting make use of all this mindfulness and meditation stuff that I can't seem to keep in practice. I want to oust the negativity because your mind is a processes what you put into it. But I am realizing that a layer of positivity over a ball of negativity is a patch and not the fix.
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I was refering to waking up from the eternal dream, being lucid, enlightened, etc, not really just "waking up". '
Oh, yeah, I know. I was being a little coy, but at the same time, have you seen pictures of those japanese monks standing under waterfalls? I've begun to realize how really truly COLD that water actually is, and how in some sense the body's urge to self-preservation somehow arrouses the mind to unify, dispel attachment, and really be present.
Two things that come to mind -
* Have you ever read descriptions of people dying of cold? Mostly, at the moment people give up and succomb their bodies are flooded with physical warmth and an accompanying sense of peace and well-being. I feel like there's some deep relationships between our generation of body heat, our seeking out heat in others, and the transcendental life force that we're all trying to understand or at least get along with.
* On the other hand, I've hardly ever thought, seen, perceived and been so clearly aware as during the few migraines that I've had. The pain made all distractions and desires and plans and preoccupations and whatever else totally irrelevant, and what was left over is the closest I've come to "pure thought", which wasn't necessarily helpful in my life except that I felt WAY more calm and clear afterwards, and in generel felt more big A Awake.
"What are you studying?"
Alot of things right now, including my own bipolar tendencies of working very hard for a little while and then sabatoging my efforts :/