Life isnt as much fun when you dont wake up next to the one person who you would ever want to wake up for.
I dropped her off last night for her second week of work and I miss her already (I missed her on the drive there just cause I realized I had to leave her soon).
This feels like punishment. It feels like I have paid so many dues and that somehow wasnt enough, now i have to see what it feels like to not fall asleep with her, as if I would ever forget how much that hurts. I know its for the best and its what has to be done so we can start our lives in toronto, but dammit, I wish there was another way. I wish I could have her sitting in front of me with her resting against my chest right now, her head back against my shoulders and her hands holding my hands to her stomach. I wish I could kiss her. I miss kissing her every second Im not. I dont know how I could explain it better, but I miss the feeling of not being able to breath because Im busy touching my lips to hers. I miss her smile. Lately she has been stressed out alot and I dont see it as often as I would like, but when I do see it, please believe me, it's so amazing. Its like artwork that you cant help love. I miss the way she steals all my clothes, I miss how she spends hours making her hair look amazing and then whines, because she thinks she looks aweful, when in reality she looks so amazing its hard to think. I miss the way she will pout and her voice raises two octaves as she whines "baaaaby" when she wants me to get her something from the fridge. I miss the way she will play a game or go to a website, and mess with it for two minutes and if she hasnt figured it out by then, her voice goes up again and she says "I hate it, you do it" (sooo cute). I miss her like she had been gone from my side for the span of a lifetime, and it has only been a few hours. I miss her like a heart misses its first beat. I miss her like I miss heaven. I have to make it through today, and tomorrow, then wednesday i get to go visit her, then its thursday alone and friday I bring her home for the weekend, then a couple more weeks like this. Im strong and its a very short length of time but if you knew her, if you knew what holding her in your arms to fall asleep felt like, if you knew what her kiss tasted like, if you had ever heard her breath, you'd understand.
I miss my baby.
I dropped her off last night for her second week of work and I miss her already (I missed her on the drive there just cause I realized I had to leave her soon).
This feels like punishment. It feels like I have paid so many dues and that somehow wasnt enough, now i have to see what it feels like to not fall asleep with her, as if I would ever forget how much that hurts. I know its for the best and its what has to be done so we can start our lives in toronto, but dammit, I wish there was another way. I wish I could have her sitting in front of me with her resting against my chest right now, her head back against my shoulders and her hands holding my hands to her stomach. I wish I could kiss her. I miss kissing her every second Im not. I dont know how I could explain it better, but I miss the feeling of not being able to breath because Im busy touching my lips to hers. I miss her smile. Lately she has been stressed out alot and I dont see it as often as I would like, but when I do see it, please believe me, it's so amazing. Its like artwork that you cant help love. I miss the way she steals all my clothes, I miss how she spends hours making her hair look amazing and then whines, because she thinks she looks aweful, when in reality she looks so amazing its hard to think. I miss the way she will pout and her voice raises two octaves as she whines "baaaaby" when she wants me to get her something from the fridge. I miss the way she will play a game or go to a website, and mess with it for two minutes and if she hasnt figured it out by then, her voice goes up again and she says "I hate it, you do it" (sooo cute). I miss her like she had been gone from my side for the span of a lifetime, and it has only been a few hours. I miss her like a heart misses its first beat. I miss her like I miss heaven. I have to make it through today, and tomorrow, then wednesday i get to go visit her, then its thursday alone and friday I bring her home for the weekend, then a couple more weeks like this. Im strong and its a very short length of time but if you knew her, if you knew what holding her in your arms to fall asleep felt like, if you knew what her kiss tasted like, if you had ever heard her breath, you'd understand.
I miss my baby.
babybeezer:
I miss my baby too. I only get to see him on the weekends during summer, and about once a month (or less) during the school year.
shicawgo:
Wow....okay...wow.....do you have any IDEA how lucky you are? that's unfuckingreal how much you love her. That amazes me that someone could say those things about another person. Unreal. It's amazing that someone can feel that way. I could only dream to imagine a person to feel that way about let alone actually finding them and holding them...you are SO lucky.....wow........unreal.