zechariah

Hey dad,

I woke up this morning, but I never really slept. I haven't felt very much like your son lately. Things are burning me more lately than they used to. My name doesnt sound right to me any more, less deserved I think. I mis you alot and wish you didnt have to watch me be such a fuck up. I hope you're proud of me, but lately i don't see how you could be.

Hey mom,

I woke up this morning, but i never really slept. I hope you are well and your job is going alright. I miss you alot. Im sorry you've been burdened for so long with such a lazy son. I've tried to make things easy for you lately, but like most of my other ventures I failed. I hope you can forgive me. I dont know who i am any more really. Im just lost and i don't see any way back.

Hey sis,

I woke up this morning, but i never really slept. I don't really expect you to care though. You'e never been a sister to me. I love you but honestly, you don't like me and i don't like you. I hope that changes someday, but right now Im don't have the means to change anything with you.

Hey "friend"

I woke up this morning, but I never really slept. I miss you and owe you so much for giving me a place to stay. I hope I can come back soon. Im sure I wouldn't be getting on as well as I am without your friendship. I don't feel like a good friend to you lately though. Im sure you have better things to do than wipe my tears away. i owe you and i owe your family so so much, but im sure i'll never be able to truly repay you. I love you alot, and am glad we are friends.

Hey "her",

I woke up this morning, but I never really slept. I haven't slept since I left you really, I got used to your legs wrapped around my thigh and your head on my shoulder. I miss you so much and I can't help but feel that im a burden to you and im just in your way. I wish you hadn't ever had to put up with me. I love that i still get to be your friend though. I can't imagine my life without you anymore. I miss your eyes, and I miss your voice, and I miss you. I love you and I hope you still love me in some way. Im not a very strong person. i thought I was for a while but now i can see that in reality im not. But Im still here because of you. i made a promise to you and i ccould never break a promise to you. I meant it when i said you were the reason i believed in God, and i still mean it. I love you more than life, and I always will.

Hey me,

I woke up this morning, but I never really slept. What does it mean when waking up seems like a worst case scenario? What do you do when everybody keeps telling you it can only get better, and everytime someone says that, things get worse? I don't like you much any more, not that i ever really did. I wish you could get your act together and stop being such a fuck up. Im sorry that I don't know how to make things better. Im sorry that I don't seem to have things figured out. Im at the end of my rope and I still have way too far to drop. Im pretty numb inside, and lately I'm not sure I have the strength or will to fix it.

Hey God,

Im sorry I woke up this morning.