zaya

I wonder if it is fate testing me or if I pissed the Furies off... Something however I do belive is trying to drive me mad...
I had one of my worst nightmares come true Tuesday... (Not my WORST cause that has always been lossing my head... but that is a whole 'nother topic)... I was "observed" by my internship professor Tuesday... and it was HORRIBLE!!!! The kids just went up like little bottle rockets... you could almost hear the crack as they went off and made me look so bad... And I was so upset afterwards I think I made the professor mad at me, as now he isn't answering my e-mail at all...
I don't think I am handling my stress well at all right now... I have NEVER been one to just want to cry... but this week, that is all I have really wanted to do... Even with people telling me that this is nothing... That they can't touch me cause the administration likes me blah... blah... blah...

I just don't know what to say... I am not having trouble getting up and going to work, infact today was a good day in my classroom... I just don't know what the effects of Tuesday will be on my journey... and this control freek doesn't like have a fucken thing out of her control when it come to my life... sure... I can hand over LOTS of decisons... but being in this spot... where the school is happy with me... and the college doesn't like what I am doing... I just feel like Hamlet sometimes...

Okay... enough.. going to get dinner now...

Zaya