zarphin

Ya know the saying from Fight Club, Its only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything? I used to love that, and I believe its true, but now it just feels like its mocking me. I haven't lost everything, and for that I'm thankful, but at the same time, this place, the "zoo" isn't doing much for me, and who I am right now. I really just want to try someplace completely new, yet I can not. For my daughter I will stay here, or move closer to there, but I'll not leave. I think its that I couldn't if I wanted to that really has pushed the adventure button. meh.

In other news, I'm tired of being single. I have a ton of girl friends, good friends, groups of people to hang out with, but in the end, at the end of the day, or the night, I'm here, by myself, and I'm frankly sick of it. As Kirin has told me, and I quote, cuz she made me feel good about myself. "You're good looking, nice, smart, caring, giving." awww, thats super nice of her to say, and I get that my friends see me that way, but I have yet to meet a girl, who I am on speaking terms with, who would go out on a date with me. I guess I'm shy, when I'm around a girl I think is cute, but I don't know her, I don't go talk to her, cuz I'm not that guy, I don't want to come off like I'm just trying to get in her pants, I'm afraid she'll tell me to go to hell. Its stupid, I'm full of confidence around groups of new people, as long as I'm introduced, but stranger danger, is in full effect as far as cute girls go. Blah. Something I'm going to have to work on I guess, this single life thing isn't so much for me. I miss having someone to talk to, and watch movies with, and hang out with.

Anywho, how is you people? I'm looking forward to memorial day weekend, three days with my kiddo,a nd by then we should have my boat in the water, and that my friends, is the best relaxation ever. OK, TTFN

--Z